The Year In Review

The countdown has begun... the food & drinks are being prepared (and probably already started for some), the football seasons are winding down... and you know what that means. The end of the year. So we look to Conan O'Brien for the year in review.

Also, for those of you that missed the Stewie meets Shatner link. Here it is. Search for "Rocketman" on the page and then follow the links to UTC glory. Well worth the look. I recommend watching Shatner's version from the 1978 Sci-Fi/Fantasy Awards first, since Stewie's is a impression of Shatner's. Remember, Stewie knows what it takes to be cool. "And I think it's gonna be a long long time..." See you in 2006...

Since nobody stepped up this week....

Better late than never....

You knew it was coming

The movie soundtrack says it all.



Flash - ah - saviour of the universe
Flash - ah - he’ll save every one of us
Flash - ah - he’s a miracle
Flash - ah - king of the impossible
He’s for every one of us
Stand for every one of us
He’ll save with a mighty hand
Every man every woman every child...its FLASH!


This movie was Star Wars before Star Wars. A Man. A Hero. (Lucas wanted to make this but Dino DeLaurentiis beat him to the punch.)



PLOT
Flash is a football hero (J E T S JETS JETS JETS QB!) who is skyjacked aboard Dr. Zarkov's rocketship along with beautiful Dale Arden. The threesome are drawn into the influence of the planet Mongo, controlled by Ming the Merciless (played by the brilliant Max Von Sydow). Ming has been testing the Earth with unnatural disasters, and deeming it a threat to his rule, he plans to destroy it. He also intends to take Dale as his concubine. Flash must avoid the amorous attentions of Ming's daughter and unite the warring kingdoms of Mongo to rescue Dale and save our world.

This movie is filled with memorable performaces by the worst James Bond (Timothy Dalton) and the voice of the Gungan King, Brian Blessed.


An incredibly hot Mings Daughter Aurora rounds out the main players.
Fun Movie. Decent Special effects for 1980, and a soundtrack that sticks in your head for days. Add some Cheesy acting and you have yourself a fun filled movie.

Forget Serenity.
How can you lose with lines like
Flash, Flash, I love you, but we only have fourteen hours to save the Earth!

or

Klytus: Who are you?
Flash Gordon: Quarterback, New York Jets.

Classic. Simply Classic.
I LOVE THIS MOVIE.

The worst idea for a movie...EVER!

A little background on this one.

Back in the 70's before alot of you youngins were out of diapers, my mom bought me my 1st album. Vinyl. It was the Beatles, Sgt Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band. I wore a grove in this record. Still for me probably the greatest album in history. I know every word.

In 1978 A movie came out based loosely on the Album (And some Abby Road mixed in as well). Since it was the 70's it was cast with Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees. I think of this because this movie came in the Independent Film Channel and like a trainwreck I had to watch.

All the characters were named after Beatles songs! Starring Billy Shears (Peter Frampton) and the Hendersons (the Bee Gees) "were all there" as well, "Sgt. Pepper" featured Strawberry Fields (Sandy Farina) as Billy's leading lady, and Mr. Mustard (Frank Howerd) was "such a mean old man." Let's not forget Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds (Dianne Steinberg), the Sun King (Alice Cooper), and Sgt. Pepper played by an old Beatles protege (Billy Preston). The movie also depicted countless cover versions of Beatles songs, including Earth Wind & Fire's "Got to Get You Into My Life." As the narrator, Mr. Kite (George Burns) even covered "Fixin' a Hole." YES I SAID A BEATLES COVER BY GEORGE BURNS!

Cameos by Steve Martin (Dr Maxwell and his Silver Hammer) and AeroSmith (As the Future Villian Band) Could not save even 1 inch of this movie.



The plot goes like this. Sgt Pepper was an old man who had magical instruments. Peter Frampton and the Gees went to Hollywood from a small town and made it BIG! Later these instruments were stolen by Aerosmith, Steve Martin, Alice Copper Etc. The Bee Gees and Peter Frampton went to get them back. Aerosmith kills Stawberry Fields, They sing some Beatles Ballads. Sgt Pepper is resurrected from an old white guy to a Black man and brings strawberry fields back to life. Then there is a huge musical number at the end that includes Bowser from Sha Na Na, Tina Turner and Hank Williams Jr.

And no...Im not kidding

This movie surpasses Joes list of "So bad they are good" list. Top this to a "So bad you'll cry, laugh, and wonder how in the hell you will get the last 90 minutes of your life back"

This one hurts. Goes deep into the core, and destroys the image of Gooses alltime favorite album. Image Hollywood doing this to your greatest music Album of ALL TIME!

I have a few other posts coming. Im going to introduce Jayne to MY favorite SCI FI Movie (Train knows whats coming) plus a Synopsis of all 3 King Kong Movies now that I have see the third.


Goose

Top 5 Movies: So Bad They're Good

Back in college, my roommate and I started a Bad Movie Night -- where we would invite a bunch of people over, drink & watch an absolutely terrible movie -- and do our own MST 3000 dialogue over the movie's actual dialogue. It is a ton of fun, ya'll should try is soon. Trust me, it's good times guaranteed.

Top 5 Movies: So Bad They're Good:

#5. Left Behind :: starring Kirk Cameron

After selling billions of books, Left Behind went straight to video. It was that bad. Seriously, I think even God hated this movie. Just a glorious movie to get drunk & watch. I'm not even kidding, toss back a few and drop the MST 3000 like Jayne snorting pixie-sticks before jacking off watching Serenity.

#4. The Postman :: starring Kevin Costner

Post apocalyptic mail service? Didn't Kevin Costner have email in 1997!?! A friend of mine that lives in Hollywood had a great story about Costner. Quick story... I guess he was working at a restaurant and Costner called up for a reservation, so my friend decided to act like he didn't know who Costner was. And Costner got really pissed and started naming off all of his films over the phone, still my friend didn't give in. I've always wondered if Costner getting mad sounds as fake as his real acting. Actually, now that I think about it, The Postman is just plain bad.

#3. Pootie Tang :: starring Lance Crouther

Appearances by Dave Attel, David Cross, Wanda Sykes, Chris Rock, etc. Pootie Tang, the musician/actor/folk hero of the ghetto, is chronicled from his early childhood to his battles against the Man. Need I say more? Sa da tay!


#2. Battlefield Earth :: starring John Travolta, Barry Pepper & Forrest Whitaker

The script is unbelievably terrible. I'll admit I've never read the book and have a thing against scientology after seeing TomKat go completely insane -- but Battlefield Earth is so bad it might be great. Maybe the best MST 3000 movie of all-time.

#1. Cool As Ice :: starring Vanilla Ice
It's basically a cross between Footloose, Say Anything & crack cocaine. When you have Vanilla Ice popping off lines like -- "Drop that zero and get with the hero!" -- can you go wrong? Yes, yes you can. And it's wonderfully amazing. I actually hunted for this movie throughout college before receiving a VHS copy of it as the best birthday present ever. Plus, any movie that has music videos that pass the time in the script and where Vanilla Ice rides crotch-rocket motorcycles has to be a clear #1. I recommend Cool As Ice for UTC scale's sake alone.

"The only reason I know that is because that's what almost happened in The Paradise Syndrome when Kirk lost his memory and became an Indian god"

So, Train has advised me that maybe I should back away from art house and foreign films on my weekly movie recommendation. Actually, he said I should go “more mainstream”. Well, to me that just seems redundant. No one needs someone to tell them about “King Kong”, or whatever big Hollywood film is out this week. I intentionally try to choose movies on the outskirts, because the only way they get seen is entirely through word of mouth. But…I will try and compromise. I was originally planning on doing a really weird French film, but I think I’ll go a different route…

Free Enterprise

Synopsis (Courtesy of IMDB)
Young filmmakers (Rafer Weigel, Eric McCormack) trying to hawk a movie titled "Bradykillers" about a serial killer who goes after victims Marcia, Jan, and Cindy meet their screen idol, William Shatner. Shatner, appearing as himself, has fun poking fun at his own image. The two young men, who idolize him and in their fantasies have seen him as a shadowy fairy godfather figure, are alarmed at the reality of the middle-aged non-Captain Kirk man that they meet. However, their relationship helps anchor the two more into reality.

Review:
A word of warning: If you don’t have any geek tendency’s in your being…stay away from this movie. This movie is made by a pair of filmmakers who passionately love sci-fi and film in general, and this movie oozes references all over the place. And I’m not just talking Star Wars/Star Trek. I’m talking Logan’s Run, Rollerball, The Godfather, Alien, etc. The main characters in this film LOVE the movies, and they’re not afraid to show it. So if you’re unfamiliar with film in general…you’re probably just not going to get it.
However…if you’re the type that’s going to get references to blinking red lights on your hand and had a lot of action figures at some point in your life, you’ll probably really dig this flick.
Now, having said that…fear not, this is not a movie about how great classic Star Trek is. All of this Sci-Fi stuff is basically a backdrop to the story, kind of like Kevin Smith movies. There’s a ton of “geek” talk, but that’s not what its about.
It’s a movie about two friends in L.A who are just in a general state of unhappiness. Mark (Eric McCormack from Will & Grace) is freaking out over the prospect of turning 30, and Robert has just gotten dumped by his girlfriend. Once they meet their childhood idol, William Shatner, and have all of their illusions shattered are when the film gets interesting.
Now…Shatner. What can I say about Shatner? He’s rocks this movie. He pokes fun at himself in a way that few actors would dare. For example: When he first shows up in the movie, Robert and Mark are at a book store. When they look across the aisle there’s Shatner….looking through the porn section. There’s something bizarrely amusing about watching Captain Kirk look at porn in a bookstore…it’s hard to explain.
Anyway…this movie isn’t high art, and it doesn’t pretend to be, as it had a tiny budget (that sometimes shows). But…if you can understand the humor, it’s really funny, and totally worth checking out.

Jayne's Top 10 Films of 2005

10. King Kong – Can Peter Jackson truly do no wrong? When I was in high school, I was obsessed with “Dead Alive” and “Heavenly Creatures”. I even really dug “The Frighteners” (which just had a special edition DVD release which I totally recommend…it’s an under rated flick). So, when Lord of the Rings came out, it was nice to see PJ actually get some recognition for once.
Now, enter Kong. This is by PJ’s most masturbatory film. It’s like listening to Miles Davis “Bitches Brew”. Nothing in that film is for the audience. He did it entirely for himself. It just so happens that the film happens to work really well for audiences (even if it does drag a little in the middle). When it comes to doing BIG films, Jackson has found a way to over shadow the likes of Lucas, Spielberg and Cameron. Now I can’t wait to see what he goes back to small films, like he’ll do with his next flick, “The Lovely Bones”.


9. Kung-Fu-Hustle – This movie is what happens when you cross Quentin Tarentino, Looney Toons and Martial Arts. This movie is so over the top that it’s kind of like the matrix: One can not be told what Kung Fu Hustle is; one must see it with their own eyes.










8. Night Of The Living Dorks – I saw this German film at the Seattle International Film Festival, and I fell heads over heels in love with it. The movie tells the story of 3 high school losers who are killed, and then accidentally brought back to life from some Goth kids who are actually trying to resurrect Kurt Cobain. They realize that there are some serious benefits to being undead. You can’t be hurt and you have increased strength…if only your body parts would stay attached. Suffice to say shenanigans ensue. To me, this movie was even funnier than “Shaun of the Dead”. What works best about this film is the fact that the story is really just about being a loser in high school. They still have to deal with your parents; they get high and drink too much, and pine over the hot girl. It’s really like a cross between John Hughes, George Romero and Kevin Smith. Sadly, the film isn’t available on DVD, and has only played the film festival circuit in theaters. But it was one of the funniest flicks I’ve ever seen.

7. Crash – What can I say about this film that hasn’t been said by a billion critics? This film is amazing. It’s perfectly cast (which is really saying something considering Sandra Bullock is in it), and it’s just heart wrenching. This isn’t a film you watch. This is a film you experience. This film is the definition of dramatic morality tale. It’s kind of funny, I saw this movie nearly 7 months ago, and I’m still at a loss for words.







6. Constant Gardner – If Ralph Fiennes doesn’t win an Oscar for this film, I’m going to be pissed. Sure, Hoffman was good in Capote and Ledger was great in Broke-back, but this was the performance of the year. Fernando Meirelles shows us a side of Africa that Hollywood tends to shy away from, and he does so with incredibly cinematography. I used to think his previous film “City of God” was a brilliantly shot movie. Now, after seeing this, it almost looks amateurish in comparison. But, Fiennes is the true reason this film is on my list. He brilliantly turned his character into true every man. There’s nothing heroic about him when we meet him. He’s not particularly special by any means. He’s apprehensive, and flawed, but most importantly he feels real. He really feels like a human being who really exists, which is something you rarely see on film.



5. 40 Year Old Virgin – I loved “Freaks and Geeks”. It, for my money, is the most realistic portrayal of High School I have ever seen. And when it crashed and burned after 1 season, I was truly bummed out. So I made a point of following the creators on their various projects following the series. Last year, writer/creator Judd Apatow, jumped over to film with the movie “Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy”. Judging from all of the times you’ve quoted this movie on the blog, I can safely assume you’re all with me as to how awesome that was. So, when I saw Apatow was jumping over to direct his first film with Steve Carrell I was uber-psyched. And damn, was I not disappointed. This was hands down the best comedy of the year. Whenever you make a sex comedy, you walk a fine line between being sweet and being raunchy. What works best about this film is that it has a lot of heart to it. Nothing these characters do is out of malice. The situations by themselves are what are funny, and the cast was able to milk every joke for everything it was worth.

4. Sin City – If I ever become a filmmaker, I want to be Robert Rodriguez. This is a guy who does whatever he wants without any entanglements of Hollywood. What he did with Sin City was a thing of beauty. He didn’t adapt a comic. He re-created it. I never would have guessed that a comic book could be transferred on film so faithfully. It was all perfect; the lighting, the camera angles, the look…everything. And if you’re going to give a comic the royal treatment, there aren’t many better choices than Sin City. The comic is an institution. A perfect example of how crime noir could be explored in a totally new way. Of all the special effects and technology advances we saw in movies this year, I think that Sin City is going to be the one film with the most lasting impact.



3. Batman Begins – The perfect Batman film. There. I said it. It’s in print.
I have had major issues with every Batman film that has come before this one. But David Goyer and Christopher Nolan just nail it this time. Every single piece of that film was faithful to the comic book. Every piece of casting (except TomKat) was perfect. Christian Bale WAS Batman. One moment always sticks out for me in the film that really sums up the entire difference. At one point he’s interrogating a thug, and the criminal says “I swear to god”. The bat gets right in his face with the fire and anger of 1000 suns and growls “Swear to me!”
Never before has Batman been shown as a true creature of the night. As something that should truly be feared by criminals. He became the boogeyman, instead of just a guy in a nipple costume.

2. Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang – I already did a write up of this as one of my weekly movie recommendations, so you already know how I feel about it. But let me just reiterate: This movie @#$%ing rocks. You get a pair of career best performances out of Val Kilmer and Robert Downey Jr, plus an incredible script, and what more could you really want?



1. Serenity – C’mon, did you really think I would put something else here? Don’t worry…I won’t do another 5 page review of it…just see it!

Honorable mentions –
Wedding Crashers – Vince Vaughn shows the comedic brilliance that we remember so fondly in Swingers. And Rachel McAdams is hot too…

Me, And You, And Everyone We Know – By far, the best debut of any filmmaker this year. This is a great, quirky little film. Not for everyone, but the people that get it, will love it.

Broken Flowers – Jim Jarmusch makes his most mainstream film to date, and does an incredible job with it. Once again, Bill Murray is in top form.

Capote – Without Phillip Seymour Hoffman, this movie doesn’t even get a mention. His performance alone is worth seeing this movie. Don’t get me wrong though, it’s a very solid film.

High Tension – A great horror movie. A lot of people loved it until the end, but I actually really dug the ending.

Hope all members of the Lodge had a splendid Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanza and so on. Is there any way that we could start a petition to get Christmas on a weekend every year? You can’t beat a three day weekend.

Here are a few Holiday notations that I made while relaxing over the weekend. I have nothing profound to say, sorry Joe no pictures. Just an easy post to get us through the the first day back to work - well for some of us.


Colt v. Hawks

Hawks can take a few things away from the colt’s game but only a few. Not really much of a test when over half the Colts starting D is on the sidelines for the whole game. No Freeney, Simon and June made this one really a mismatch from the beginning. The crowd new a big day was in order for Alexander when he scampered 8 yards on his first carry.

Hawks Defense played solid in the red zone but least we not forget there was no Harrison out on the end. The Hawks have perfected the bend but don’t break D this year and Saturday they bent a whole lot. The Train is thinking very hard about making his first ever Hawks clothing purchase and that purchase might just be a 51 jersey.

The 12th man again made its presence felt. I have to admit it’s freakin’ loud at the Q. Though I doubt any crowd can shake Manning but they did there best.

Seattle is a Good team and I think they have a legit shot at making SB XL but I don't know it they are great enough to win the whole thing.

Munich - I know this has been covered but I had to give my impression of the film

This movie really hit me in the gut. I wouldn’t recommend this to be viewed before a holiday. The movie kept me up most the night. I realized I know nothing of the Middle East and the Israeli struggle for independence. Something I will have to read up on. By the time the movie ends the viewer questions everything there country does. I tell you I thought to myself governments are bad not matter who is in office, what form of government and where it’s location is. Does any response no matter how measured justify murder and destruction? This is what I was thinking about when I should have been dreaming of sugar plum fairies and blah, blah blah but no I had mid east peace on my mind. The train will be hitting the books for the next few months. I think Steve S hit it right on with this picture. It just makes you think and that’s its intent.


Strong performance from Eric Bana in the lead roll. The best I have seen him in but that’s only 2 movies (Hulk and Black Hawk Down). Big shout out to Michael Lonsdale for his performance as Papa, the head of a crime family – think Corleone but international assassins. You might remember him from Ronin. He has a certain calming quality to his voice that really mesmerized me, very noble performance.

Spielberg did in excellent job in recreating the 72 games. It was freaky to watch it since I really know nothing of the event.

I want to also thank the Cincinnati bungles who delivered a first round by to the Broncos after a humiliating loss to the bills. Oh, and Chad Johnson’s end zone antics was a little supbar in my book but I don’t have that nice a books so…

We might have to have a meeting of the Lodge for a few playoff games. We have some interesting matchups that will need to be discussed.

The Train also got an awesome Christmas gift from his sister – a New HP laptop. Now you all know who's the smart one in the family, well not smart but she is the bread winner. Finally I have reached the space age.

"I am the last of my kind."

Being a fan of vampire movies, I was pleased to finally view Bram Stoker’s Dracula today. Francis Ford Coppola directed the 1992 release of the classic story told many times over. Coppola stayed true to Bram Stoker’s original novel and told a love story spanned throughout centuries. Apparently, Coppola received a lot of flack from fans and critics for the film. There were one too many shots that faded to and from glowing eyes for my liking, but overall I liked the classic angle he took, slowly easing us into the character of Dracula.

It begins, as it should, with the tragic story of Vlad the Impaler, who went off to fight the Crusades and returned to find that his beloved wife, hearing he was dead, had killed herself. And not just killed herself, but hurled herself from a parapet to a stony doom far below, in one of the many spectacular shots which are the best part of this movie. You feel true sympathy for him, a remarkable feat. Plus, these opening scenes are quite spectacular.

Vlad cannot see the justice in his fate. He has marched all the way to the Holy Land on God's business, only to have God play this sort of a trick on him. (Vlad is apparently not a student of the Book of Job.) He embraces Satan and vampirism, and the action moves forward to the late Victorian Age.

Despite a couple of not so inspiring performances (textbook overacting from Winona Ryder & Keanu Reeves, who haven’t ever really brought a good performance to date, Reeves’ accent is particularly horrid), the movie is entertaining and overall a good film. Gary Oldman & Anthony Hopkins deliver strong work as Count Dracula & Professor Van Helsing. Quick note, if you watch the flick, keep an eye out for a 30 year old Monica Bellucci, now 41 and still as beautiful as ever (& in my Top-5, for the record). Another hottie in the film to note is Sadie Frost as Lucy. Wow, not much else to say but… wow.

Coppola fails in his jumping around in the script, from London to Transylvania. You never really get a true sense that he trusted the actors or scenes (besides a few longer takes that include Oldman or Hopkins). An All-Star cast, but miscast in too many roles (Ryder, Reeves & Elwes) to be a great movie. That said, it’s a good film. The look and feel of the film still hold up after more than 10 years (and Jurassic Park & King Kong advances in special effects later). Not quite a classic, yet the classic tale is still enjoyable and worth a watch.

*** out of 4 stars.

Top Albums of the Year

Well I have to say my music consumption and the music I have purchased has gone down considerably this year. That being said, the aforementioned albums are great. I have heard pieces of Guerilla's and love the Stripes new album. So instead of recycling several choices I found a few to add to the list.

These are in no order:

1. Amos Lee : I heard this guy on my Dylan pilgrimage this last year when I spent two of the most incredible nights watching Dylan. As I layed and thought about that night, it stuck with me the opening act - Amos Lee. A musician with a guitar and a voice that echoed the Paramont. His album, like his performance will stick with you after you have listed to it.


2. Aqualung: Recommended by others so I won't say anything more than it's an enjoyable album to sit back and listen to.


3. Bob Dylan: Live at the Gaslight 1962: A great album I picked thanks to Erika G.E. of the Starbuck nation. This album is one of the first shows in Dylan's early career. Some great tracks which include "Don't think twice, it's alright" and "A Hard Rain is Gonna Fall." Also Dylan's No Direction Home. Vol 7 in the Bootleg Series. First of all, the bootleg series is excellent. If you get a chance, check them out but this bootleg accompanies Scorsese documentary on Dylan and the early folk revolution.


4. Bright Eyes: Digital Ash in a Digital Urn : This is a great album that was teamed up with another more mellow album. Good beats and out of the two albums that he has release, this one stuck with me a little more.



5. LCD Soundsystem: This album continues the idea of beats. This album full of housebeats is a great album to listen to as you are chillin' at home or on a car ride to the eastside or south end. This album is a double album that jumps up and gets you from the first track.


Honorable Mention:

The first two albums shown are Ben Folds albums. Songs for Silverman and Songs for a Goldfish are two albums released from the former frontman. Silverman consists of new material where Goldfish consists of live tracks from several different concert venues.




Slipknot : Live 9.0 - This album is makes your head spin. If you know anything of Slipknot you should have heard this album or own it already. I probably won't experience a Slipknot concert in my lifetime but I should got a good experience listening and knowing what it's like.

I have heard most of My Morning Jacket's album...I couldn't put it in my list because I don't own it or given it a fair listen but I trust this panel.

If you get a chance...check out KEXP Live Vol. 1 as well which includes The Shine, The Flaming Lips, Alexi Murdoch, and Ben Lee to name a few artists on the album.

Jimbo's not 2005, but the top 5 records that were heard during the year...

Resisting the urge to duplicate Joe 2.0 and Jayne's list, I've come up with a new definition of my top 5 albums of 2005...because honestly if I bought the album and have never heard it is new to me...lame I know...but I can honestly say that I didn't hear 5 full albums from artists this year so here goes, hmmm after writing this I think I did, but that doesn't matter:

honorable mention goes to : My Morning Jacket and Gorillaz...which would've made the list but they've already been covered and no one wants to read re-tread material do they?

*I have to mention because the Lodge looks out for one of their own:

World Leader Pretend-Punches...for my boy Matt Martin-lead guitarist, my guy in NO now Chicago...spend early part of High School in NO with this guy and well...he's with a pretty good band that's trying to make it happen...album is quality and at times sounds like a debut but has hooks and melodies of a 2nd or 3rd record, if I knew how to do it I'd put the album up...let me know if anyone wants to hear it...

5-Silversun Pickups/Amusement Parks on Fire- thanks to KEXP once again for some awesome podcasting that actually promotes record buying...note to music industry: its not the mp3's..it's the music...anyway...

Amusement Parks on Fire: from a bunch of 18 and 19 year-old's from Nottingham...just rock all the time with some fairly decent interlude's...very raw...look forward to this band or the songwriter developing...love me some rock



Silversun Pickups-Pikul: another debut record, but extremely good with unique vocals...once again all the way rock with great dynamics...definitely a band to stay tuned for...could be really good or could be one and done




4-DangerDoom-The Mouse and the Mask-Joe 2.0, I need a copy of the Grey Album...this teams up two favorites of the Jimbo...MF Doom, underground rapper with huge resume, who put's the old school game back in Hip Hop...and Danger Mouse who is quickly becoming the Rick Rubin of the 21st Century...haven't heard this record as much as I'd like, (just picked it up last week) but loving it so far...expanded beats and free-form slangin' by Doom

3-White Stripes-Get Behind Me Satan...always critized the group in the past for not bringing it on the other 95% of their records...but I absolutely love the strip down approach here...Jack and piano with minimal Meg...I challenge anyone to argue about the songwriting talents of Mr. White...love his approach to vintage recording and stripped down sound



2-Allman Brothers Band-Eate a Peach and Live at the Fillmore East-really a band that I should've gotten into about 10 years ago when I was driving around in my Jeep with tinted windows and the smoke stack coming out everytime the door opened, but better late than never...having serious southern roots and loving the now extinct 17min jam...this group is quickly moving up the charts as one of my favorites...during the recording of Live at the Fillmore East they played I think 3 to 4 shows until something like 3 or 4 in the morning...that's f'n rock n' roll...Eat a Peach incorporates the live feel, but some f'n excellent tracks and flows like a great record...or maybe it's just me

1-Bob Dylan-Nashville Skyline...really don't know what to say here, finally entered the Dylan phase of my life, about 7 years after Dude, but discovered how much I love this record, and after a half rack of PBR and bottle of Early Times you will too...the only man that could've given life back to a dying Nashville scene, completely brings it...from the Girl from the North Country w/ the MAN to Lay Lady Lay with the new Dylan Voice this album is perfectly timed, recorded and produced...highlights also on one of the most underrated cuts of all-time "I threw it all away"...if you aren't in to Dylan don't try this one...but, if you're looking for a place to start this is it...

Jayne's Top 5 Albums

Okay…I couldn’t resist taking a turn at this….

Personally, for me, this was a really weak year for music. There wasn’t a whole lot of new stuff I gravitated more, and spent more of the year exploring the back catalogs of people like Miles Davis and the Clash. But still, I’ve come across a few gems over the year that I’ve dug quite a bit.

5. Phenomenauts – Re-Entry
A rockabilly/punk rock band from outer space. Sound odd? Well…it is. But still it’s a fun disc, and the 2nd best concert I saw all year. This is a really fun record that doesn’t try to be serious, but is musically competent and interesting.







4. The Dan Band – LIVE!
This was the BEST concert I saw all year long. You may remember these guys from their brief cameo as the wedding band in “Old School”. They only perform songs originally sung by women, and are always sure to throw the occasional curse word when you least expect it. This album is hilarious, and it’s the most bizarre/amazing concert you will ever see. When they next come to town, you’d be doing yourself a disservice by not going.





3. Foo Fighters – In Your Honor
A really solid effort from Dave Grohl and friends. The electric disc is a bit better than the acoustic disc, but they are both incredibly solid efforts. It’s amazing to think that 10 years ago Grohl was “Just that drummer from Nirvana”, as he has proven to be an amazing song writer.







2. Bruce Springsteen – Devils And Dust
Every once in a while Springsteen goes off and makes a solo acoustic record made up of tales of men living on either the wrong side of the law or the wrong side of the tracks. Not since “Nebraska” (An album that even Johnny Cash covered songs off of) has Springsteen put out a solo disc of this quality. Every track is a story ranging in topics such as a soldier losing his soul on the battlefield (“Devils and Dust”, a track that would make a young Bob Dylan proud) to a story of a man trying (and failing) to find solace in a prostitute (“Reno”). This is a damn fine record.


1. Gorillaz – Demon Days
The first Gorillaz album was my top disc of 2001, and I really didn’t expect to hear from them again. I figured Damon would go back to blur, and Dan the Automator would go back to his solo career. When I heard that the band was putting out another album without Dan I was skeptical. After all, he was just as responsible for coming up with the bands unique sound as Damon. But when Demon Days was released with DJ Danger Mouse filling in, I was blown away. This wasn’t a retread on familiar territory. The Gorillaz pushed things further and made a very experimental album. There’s trip hop, and the material isn’t nearly as light hearted, but it’s still able to be a great dance record. And this album gets props for having the coolest guest appearance, being Dennis Hopper and the track “Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey’s Head”.

Top 5 Albums of 2005

2005 was a down year for the album as an entity. But I think that reflects the health of the music industry as a whole more than the quality of music’s top albums of the year. I-Tunes and iPods have brought digital single songs to the forefront of the industry instead of focusing on upcoming release dates of records & their subsequent tours. Kids can now download their favorite song they hear on the radio without having to shell out the 10-15 bucks for a CD at their local store. Even thought there are few quality radio stations still around, but that's another post. Now, while I am a big fan of perusing an album’s tracks before purchasing, I think mp3’s have started to bring a negative influence on music. So, tonight I’ll raise a drink to the album. Hopefully the album will see a comeback soon…

… and onto my Top-5 Albums of the year 2005. Obviously, this is one man’s opinion. But I’ve decided to focus a larger percentage of my posts from here on out on Music, with weekly album reviews of records past, present & future (promotional releases from bands, clubs & promoters). Music is my passion, and hopefully it can be my niche in The Black Lodge.


#1. Common: Be

Common’s last album, Electric Circus, was a major disappointment in my mind. It swayed into electronic beats (which I love & listen to, but the production didn’t fit Common’s style or flow) and away from what makes Common the best MC in Hip-Hop. Be brings us back to Common’s strengths. The majority of the album is produced by Kanye West and the quality runs the Hip-Hop gamut, with tracks like “The Corner” describing city streets, to a smooth & steady “Go”, to the live track of “The Food” from Chapelle’s Show Season 2. It is subtle enough to be played front to back over and over again, yet powerful enough to make you sit up and listen to a lyrical genius who is far from common.


#2. My Morning Jacket: Z

My Morning Jacket hail from Kentucky. And before you label them southern rock and not give them a chance, listen to their latest album, titled Z, and you’ll hear a band that has genuine pop sensibilities and craft tunes that are more than rock anthems. Jim James, the front man of MMJ, is the main songwriter. "I had a vision of how I wanted the record to be," says James, sinking deeper into his chair. "I wanted it to be more rhythm-based, a little more futuristic-sounding, not as guitar-rocky. . . I've always loved hip-hop and soul, and I guess I'm just trying to incorporate that." Quick side note, Z was produced by John Leckie, who produced Radiohead's The Bends.


#3. Elbow: Leaders of the Free World

Better than Coldplay, similar to the Doves, and influenced by Peter Gabriel, Elbow has all the pieces in place to be a great band. With their third release, Elbow gets softer on some songs, yet not enough where you are put to sleep by the melody. The tracks are expansive, with replayability (just making up a word here) that Elbow’s amazing debut album (Asleep in the Back) brought us. Good stuff from the U.K. again… Where did all the good U.S. bands go?


#4. Sigur Rós: Takk…

Iceland’s Sigur Rós are my favorite band. I’ll admit it. I love their albums. They haunt my brain and the songs stay with me for days on end, but not in the annoying way like a one-hit wonder. Jimbo introduced me to Sigur Rós’ first disc, Ágætis Byrjun, about five years ago, and I’ll been a fan since. “Takk…” brings in heavier beats and some songs seem to build with more conviction than their past albums. The use of a drummer throughout adds to the album. It’s their most experimental album (although one could argue that the band itself is experimental) to date and probably their most catchy too, coincidently. Also, Sigur Rós was the best show I saw this year by far.


#5. Aqualung: Strange & Beautiful

I’ve had this album for almost 2 years (I got a copy of the import in the Summer of ’04, which happens to a lot of UK bands), but thanks to a U.S. release earlier this year, we can technically include it on this list. It’s a great disc. Don’t dismiss Aqualung as just another Brittish band, they are a very talented band that crafted wonderfully delicate and beautiful pop-songs that use a lot of piano and are accompanied by great vocals. The O.C. and Garden State soundtracks have each clued in to Strange & Beautiful, and you should find time to listen too. Jethro Tull would be proud that the name Aqualung was being represented well.

Post #100

I have the honor of being able to Post the centennial. The #100 post according to the Blogger page.

Lets make this one short and brief. Im up early this morning and attending a 9am funeral. I'll take a brief moment and reflect. This as well as the Tony Dungy tragedy does cause reflection, It cant be helped.

We complete another year.
Jimmy deserves mad props for starting the Blog. Getting us all talking daily again more than an AIM Chat Room where thinking up the title at 6am was really the only burst of creativity. Kudos to Jimbo Maverick Edwards.

We added a new amigo in the MCP. Who has shown that he brings it on a day to day basis. Honestly. Poly Brown, Meat, many have sat in his chair. But I challenge to find one that has brought it daily.

We all were able to witness the Marriage and rebirth of Joe 2.0. Much like the Lawnmower Man, It is possible that this Joe 2.0 will eventually need to be destroyed. But until then.....

We witnessed a young Man getting his equivalent to the Top Gun Trophy, his College diploma. Congrats Jimmy

We witnessed some big breakups. Brad and Jen, Toby and Renee, and the finality of Sierra and Jordan. Train. You stood tall. And we will all stand by you in this new chapter. Plus you did your civic duty. although Im still REALLY Skeptical about this Foreman thing.

As for Mother Goose.
I offer a great deal of thanks to a great group of friends. To Train and Joe, Jimbo and the Dude. To Jen, Erika and Megan. To 6+ years of good friendships, lots of laughs, a rockin trip to Vegas, 2 marriages, 2 Gosslings, multiple jobs, and Trains Ass hurting and not knowing why.

Heres to the A-team.

Happy Holidays all! And here is an F-Off to the politically correct. Merry Christmas.

It wouldn't be Thursday without...

Speaking of Mr Cruise

You guys have probably seen this already, but just in case...you HAVE to check this out, and make sure you have your sound on.

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah

Matt You're so Glib Right Now.....

More Scientology celebs are joining Tom Cruise in bashing psychiatry.Lisa Marie Presley, Priscilla Presley, Danny Masterson, Jenna Elfman, and Catherine Bell were among those who attended the opening of a museum in Hollywood called "Psychiatry: an Industry of Death." The museum was created by the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, an organization linked to the Church of Scientology, which opposes the use of psychiatry. “The state-of-the-art museum documents that psychiatry is an industry driven entirely by profit,” according to the CCHR, “and provides practical guidance for lawmakers, doctors, human rights advocates and private citizens to take action in their own sphere to bring psychiatry under the law,”

Is this for real?

Is there anything else that Hollywood should be doing? Like I don't know making better movies. What is next a museum called Doctors: a profession of pure evil. Teachers: an occupation that breeds destruction. This list could go on. I just had to point this out when I read it this morning. This is beyond words.

FWWM Movie Review

Okay, I'll bite, Goose. I know there are a ton of David Lynch fans in the Lodge, but I'll brave the room and bust it loose (since besides Dune, one of my favorite movies ever, I'm not a big fan of Mr. Lynch). I was flipping through my On-Demand this past Saturday and, lo and behold, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me was an option on the television. So I passed through the red curtain and clicked "watch". The film runs an excruciating 135 minutes, with maybe 40 minutes of worthy material — enough for, say, one last hour-long television time-slot. In retrospect, if only I had some plutonium and a Flux Capacitor laying around.

Fire Walk With Me is an austere, dim, disquieting, and surreal…hey it’s David Lynch and we expect nothing less. Like an acid-tongued take on the TV series he and Mark Frost originated in the early 1990’s, Director Lynch’s "Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me" is an even more perplexing freak show encircling a small town’s consignment of oddities and inhabitants, and as equally visually transcendent and thematically stunning. Since I just got really wordy... In other words, it's weird.

Here's the thing. In Junior High, I was a huge Twin Peaks fan. Like most, I watched the show every week, wondering if the one-armed man was the killer, what was with the midget in the red room & why Laura Flynn-Boyle was strangely attractive. Now, of course, she's hot. Yet this movie failed to match up to the production values of the show. Watching the show again after college, it still held up. Now watching the movie at the end of the year 2005, the movie is emmensely flawed and, at times, horribly acted (Chris Isaak in particular, Kyle MacLachlan is the only one that brought anything fresh and that could equate to talent to the film). The epitomy of a disfunctional family in the Palmers was one of the few questions the film answerered halfway decent, and even that left you with a sick feeling and wanting to shower after the credits rolled. The questions raised in the show were intriguing, while the questions raised in the movie were annoying and made the script seemingly thrown together because of studio demand. Disappointing, to say the least.

I was still coming down from the effed up nature of this movie after I drove to Jimbo's Saturday night. Where did Chris Isaak go after picking up the ring? Why was David Bowie only in one scene? How did Laura not get killed earlier than at 18 after travelling in that messed up crowd for such a long time and wandering in the backwoods every other night? Mostly, I was angry at the unanswered questions and extremely disappointed overall. Mostly. And when I came back down, I wanted my 2+ hours back and wanted an apology from Mr. David Lynch.

Grade: ** out of 4 stars

"Can we start with the part where Jayne gets beat up by a 90 pound girl? Because that's *never* getting old."

So, when I first decided to do a movie recommendation every week, the first thing I did was circle this week for a certain movie. It’s the only week I pre-planned, and it’s for a movie I feel more strongly about than the 99% of the movies I’ll discuss on this blog.
Now, Train has already warned me about this choice and about how this probably won’t go over well (with Goose in particular), but here goes….

3 1/2 Years ago on a network not so far away….

A little show named Firefly premiered on Fox in their Friday night time slot…a move designed for it to die. You see, this isn’t a show Fox really wanted. The shows creator, Joss Whedon, was a hot property following the huge success of his previous two shows: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (as well as screen writing credits on Toy Story and Speed). So, some studio execs gave him a production deal to create an all new show for them. The wanted more of the same, which is exactly what Whedon was not interested in giving them.

Instead he delivered a Science Fiction show that was unlike anything that had come before it. The critics loved it…but it wasn’t what Fox wanted.

So…they showed it out of order (which is like showing a show like “Lost” out of order), and put it on the worst weeknight they could. And after 9 episodes, this little show was cancelled….

But something happened…the few fans that watched it, and the people that worked on it, stayed with it. They knew that this show was something special and they weren’t about to let it go. When the DVD was released in early 2004, it went on to become the second best selling DVD of the year, and has since become one of Fox’s all time best sellers (It’s still quite popular, and is currently the #5 best selling DVD on Amazon.com, ahead of the likes of Star Wars and Family Guy).

Universal studios took notice, and when Joss came knocking on their door, trying to save Firefly, they took a chance. And so this little failed TV show got to be a big screen feature film.

Quite honestly, a big screen feature film that shouldn’t exist.

Enter "Serenity".



Okay. Now you know the back story…so now I’ve got to win you over on this movie…

First and foremost: You do NOT have to be familiar with the TV show in order to get this movie. It’s written in a way that is geared towards people that didn’t even know a TV show existed before the film. True, if you know the show you’ll get a couple of the in-jokes, but that’s really about it.

In a nutshell, here’s the concept of the story: The Millennium Falcon crossed with a covered wagon headed to the old west.

Now for the concept with a bit more detail and back-story (You can skip this if you want to get to the story synopsis/review)

About 500 years in the future, the earth’s resources are completely depleted, so we began migrating to other planets. Human’s have the technology to terra-form planets, so there’s plenty of places to call home. The problem is these planets are bare. There’s no roads, no running water, no nothing. So…they throw some settlers on the planet to start building everything. Doing this however, gives many of these planets an old west feel to them.

Now that there’s all these planets, a government/corporation (which in the future, kind of become the same thing…i.e “the Company” in the aliens films) decides it wants to create an alliance among all the planets, so that they may all be unified (think Empire here). Naturally, there’s a group of independents who want to be free, and don’t want a government on the other side of the galaxy telling them how to live their lives. This people in this group are called “Browncoats” (which is also what Firefly fans are called…it’s like a less nerdy Trekkie). Eventually Civil War breaks out between the two sides…

…and the Browncoats lose.

Our story picks up nearly ten years after the war is lost.

*End Back Story Bit*

The film of Serenity tells the story of a group of smugglers on a ship (Called Serenity) traveling through the universe. These are not good guys per se. They are criminals. But then again, it’s one of the few professions that doesn’t involve being under the governments thumb.

The captain of the ship is a man named Malcolm Reynolds. Think of him as a younger, funnier, Han Solo that ALWAYS shoots first. Before captaining this ship and leading his crew in their life of crime, he was a Browncoat along with his first mate Zoe.



The rest of the crew is made up of the following:


Kaylee – The ships mechanic. Quite possibly the cutest girl in all of sci-fi.


Wash – The ships pilot played by one of my favorite actors, Alan Tudyk (Knights Tale, Dodgeball)


Simon – The ships doctor. He was a pompous little rich boy, until his sister was abducted by the government. He spent his entire fortune breaking her out and saving her. They’ve been in hiding on the crews ship ever since.



River – Simon’s sister. She was abducted by the government, who tried to turn her into the ultimate assassin. She’s got powers and abilities even she’s not aware of.





Inara – In the future, prostitution is legal and actual is regulated by the government. In concept, they are more like Geisha’s. The hold quite a bit of prestige throughout the galaxy…they’re almost treated like celebrities.

And last, but certainly not least:

Jayne – The muscle of their little operation. This guy is hands down my favorite character on the show. Adam Baldwin (Full Metal Jacket, ID4) plays this guy to perfection. He’s not what you’d call book smart, but he’s a first class fighter and a man who loves his guns. This guy tops Hudson in Aliens as having the some of the best lines in all of sci-fi. (My particular favorite: “Do you know what the chain of command is? It’s the chain I beat you with until you know who’s in command!”)

Now, I don’t really want to go into too much story, as I really don’t want to give anything away. Basically the movie centers around the government trying to get River back from the crew of Serenity. That’s about as basic as I can make the plot.

This is pretty much how I sum up my feelings about this movie: This is everything I wanted the Star Wars prequels to be. It’s fast paced, it’s engrossing, it’s funny, it’s dark, and it’s exciting. George never really pulled off telling a dark story with good characters and humor (ala Empire Strikes Back). This film has all 3 in spades.

What amuses me the most is the fact that the film was made off a third of the budget of any of the prequels, and yet its effects sequences are just as engrossing. But that’s another great thing about it: The effects aren’t what matters. Whenever they could, they’d use practical means to achieve what they were trying to do, which gives the film more of an organic feel.

That’s not to say that the CG stuff isn’t great. The space battle in the film is spectacular. The TV show and this film used two concepts to really give their space stuff a unique feel. The first is that there is no sound in space. Everything is deathly quiet, which gives everything a much different feel than you’re used to seeing in movies. And the other is that all the CG shots are shot to look like they were filmed in real life. Basically meaning that there are intentional zooms and blurring and camera shakes, and all of the other imperfections that filming with a camera can cause. It’s really interesting.

As for the acting…its top notch. True, it’s a cast of no-names, but they all know their roles inside and out. These actors are so well cast, that I honestly wouldn’t consider recasting a single one of them with a big name.

The great thing I love about this universe is that it feels real. Our hero’s probably lose more than they win, and you really get a feeling that their just fighting for survival in a very rough world. One of Joss Whedon’s greatest talents is that he has the ability to make you feel like no characters are safe. On his previous TV shows he was never afraid to kill off a popular character for the sake of the story, and that still rings true here. Not everyone is going to make it, and there were a couple of points in the film where I even thought that they were all going to die (When Joss ended his TV show “Angel” he did so by killing off just about everybody, so I know what he’s capable of).

And I have to at least say something about the humor. The humor in this film is so witty and fun that it just makes this joy ride that much better. If nothing else, you’ll at least have a few good laughs.

Train can testify that I try and push this series on everyone I know. And everyone I’ve gotten to give it a try has loved it (Train included). If there’s just one film I recommend that you actually see, make it this one. It’s fine if you hate it, but just try it. I really think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I put this on par with the original Star Wars…I know that those are big words, and you probably won’t agree, but if it peaks your interest, than my job here is done.

SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!

The long awaited Joe 2.0 Wedding Review

Alright. Before we go into the ripping apart of Joes wedding lets set the ground rules first.

1) Joe. We are all happy for you. Had a great time, and wish you and Jen all the happiness in the world, What is stated here is said because it needs to be said. If you become defensive or pissy, then you will be mocked beyond your imagination.

2) No touching of the hair or Face. AND THATS ALL!!!



To honor the them of ripping of Sports Guy format. The Wedding Review will be done using quotes from my man Stewie Griffin. However some of the quotes will not match 100%. They are just too damn funny!

Special Shout out today to the Gander. Happy Birthday to the one who makes the Goose tick!

And I guess you're a Rhodes Scholar yourself. Where did you graduate from again, the University of DUH?!?!?



To Joe 2.0 and ommitting the Ateam from the wedding party. The wedding party should consist of different parts of your life. Friends, Family, College, Childhood and BEYOND! The fact that not one member of the Ateam was chosen doesnt say much for our role in your lifetime. Kind of Like "Its a Small World" of your life. It just means when Goose renews his vows at his 10 year Anniversary. The Ateam will stand at his side (Dressed in Top Gun Graduation White Uniforms, Holding a Top Gun Trophy) While you will have to watch from the crowd. It wouldnt be a sore spot except you had groomsman up the ying yang! Add one more to the Bench for your next weeding. Honor thy Ateam

So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?



Also. Not covering your bases on the slideshow of your life.
1) You ommited the Mexican and the Dude from the slideshow. The Goose squeezed in with a last second Bachelor party pic. You could have asked, and pics of the Guiness Book Museum in Vegas could have been provided. (Yes that is Trains hand on a boob.)
Side Note: Props for the David Hasselhoff/Gary Coleman/Kitt pic. Classic.


That is *exactly* the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at one in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder!

To the Joe 2.0 Pre Wedding Slide Show of the Wedding Party. It was like watching the Dating Game as a slide show. "This is Kristen, A longtime friend who enjoys long hugs, walking on the beach with her 6th toe, and shaving the back of her dog, Leg Humper, while teaching him to walk backwards. After watching that cycle through 5 or 6 times I felt like I was getting ready to watch Narnia with my Mr Pibb and Red Vines. I was ready for the next slide to say "Movies go better with Coke"

I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."

And speaking of long hugs...lets just say I havent see that much hugging since...man I dont even have a funny comparison. There was just a ton of hugging.

Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.



To the Doxa Church. Lovely place. Very nice. But whats with the Pictures on the Walls? One of them looked like a Pink Floyd album cover, another looked like the RING
And what was with the Penguin?

I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.



To the slideshow picture of Joe 2.0 as an 8 year old. Nothing much to say except if I could get a copy of that picture, and put it up against the Movie poster of the 40 year old virgin, we are talking high comedy.

Oh, let me guess. Another box with a crank that I turn and turn and turn until... whoo... a clown pops out. Then you laugh, the kids laugh, the dog laughs, and I die a little more inside.




I'll leave some for the other lodge members to post. But lets not forget to thank Peggy and Al. The funniest parents I have ever met. Joe. You dad in those younger pictures is David Hyde Pierce. No Joke. Its creepy.

Congrats on the 25 post record. Add that to the 6 and 8 post yesterday and its pretty obvious verry little work is getting done.

Early Season Report Card: Sonics

Grade: C+ The Seattle SuperSonics have actually played fairly decent of late, winning their past 2 games to pull their December record to 5-4 and 1 1/2 games behind Minnesota in the dissapointing Northwest Division, all after starting the season with a 1-5 record. The problem is, they are one game below .500 with a 11-12 record going into tonights game. Thus, the C+ grade. Rashard Lewis looks like he should make the All-Star game for the second straight year averaging 22.2 PPG and 5.8 REB, while Ray Allen's shooting has been down at 42% from the field, he's still scoring almost 25 per game and is 1st in the NBA in 3pt FG Made.
Tonight the Sonics travel to Arizona to play the Amare-less Suns, and they'll probably lose, after losing twice in the preseason and both pretty handily. I just can't see them making the playoffs this year. They don't have the depth of last year, after losing their bench players, Radmanovic playing like shite, and their off-season signings being two Clippers (who were terrible last year) in Brunson & friggin Mikki Moore (who weighs as much as me, 225 lbs, but is 7 ft tall = bad combo.)... not good.

They should make a play for Ron Artest and shake things up. Sure, he's crazier than Carl Everett and Danny Fortson combined -- but he's a defensive stopper (something the Sonics desperately need) -- and they aren't getting it done with the current squad. Plus, who wouldn't want to go see if Ron-Ron would flip out? I can see it now. Artest decking a trash-talking Baron Davis, then tagging Danny Fortson from the ropes, high-fiving Howard Schultz as he leaves the court.

Millwood I can see, but... Washburn?

The Mariners finally announced the signing of Jarrod Washburn today. I just cannot get excited about this free agent pickup. He's only won more than 11 games once in his career, for crap's sake! Yes, the 3.93 ERA for his career is decent. But I can't help but think that other GM's around MLB are cracking jokes today about Seattle.

Mariner's GM Bill Bavasi is quoted saying, "The market is what it is. We knew what the brackets were, up and down, and we slipped him in." "We slipped him in" is not something I ever want my hometown GM saying in a news conference, let alone here that anywhere. I would much rather have signed Kevin Millwood for 1 or 2 mil. dollors more per year. Washburn hasn't led a staff like Millwood. And Washburn is just as fragile as A.J. Burnett. Man, I hope they trade Jeremy Reed for Arroyo or Clement, because overall, I'm not happy with the Mariners front office moves to this point.

Narnia Rap

Hey everyone...I don't know how many Narnia haters are out there but check out this little rap...

Something kinda funny from the SNL peeps...

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=zLElfJ9YCh0

Enjoy... Pibb plus Red Vines!!!

Seeing Dr. Satan in this film would be like seeing Chewbacca in Bonnie and Clyde

Before I get to what appears to be Movie Post Monday...a few things from the weekend roundup:

*thanks to everyone for coming out on Saturday Night, hope everyone had a good time, positive that Train and Dude did...(still got that $1 Train?)...and thanks Mr. Goose for making the big haul up from the F-Dub...MCP, a couple good movie posts and who knows? maybe you can tend bar at the next one....

*Cheers to the 'Hawks for what I think was the best game they've played all season...1st quarter they were still riding the Giants game...lost it in the 2nd and 3rd w/ a wierd decision to play zone against an all-pro qb and then played like a conference leader in the 4th to secure the game...this was the trip-up game...Tennessee has some good young talent, and exposed the Hawks on D, but unlike years past...the Hawks stepped up and closed the door and increased the destiny glare coming off the their beak's

*Jeers to Bledsoe, Parcell and what apparently was an extremely overmatched Cowboy team...making me reconsider the Q-tip days...I tried taping the game and playing it in double speed everytime Bledsoe was in the pocket and it still didn't look any faster than a Dick Bennett set offense...so here's to winning out in Charlotte and back home against Lambs...there's no room for 1-1 here boys...

And now w/o further ado I present a film devoid of any social, moral or redeeming quality's:

So Dude asked me last week..."so let me know what you think of this film"..."I said, sure I'll get around to it..." last night sat down and was prepared to turn it off half-way and give the same review I gave this film , because same director, same cast...can't be that much better right?

Before we continue, I found out a lot about myself from this film...I consider myself a guy that enjoy's the fine art of sophisticated film such as this , but after watching The Devil's Reject's last night...I'm convinced that I have very little natural sophistication...if any at all....

So let's break it down: technically a sequel to the very rough debut from Mr. Zombie, House of 1K Corpses or HO1KC...we follow three members of the Firefly family as they escape a sheriff's raid on their "farmhouse compount" --and that's really the plot...here's the point that I think/hope Zombie is trying to make: Horror Films need not have a plot, it really just interferes with a bit of the ol' Ultra-Violence, which is actually toned down from a 12 in HO1KC to about an 8 with DR...

Zombie still has a way to go as a writer, however there actually is character development associated with this film, but still not much more than you would see in a normal Joe 2.0 post...as far as the art of directing is concerned, Zombie has made the Sophmore leap...apparently creating the ultimate 70's Chop House Homage film combined with a Western-style cinematography, Zombie has made a flick worthy of reference(whether good or bad, your call)

Here's what to like:

The Three Reject's of the Firefly Clan:

*Sid Haig reprising the roll of Cpt Spaulding, or Shakes the Clown on PCP...he's the personality of the film, if anything creates the purpose for the evil of Firefly clan, its the Captain...Zombie, apparently remember one of the cardinal rules about a good horror character...they must be a clown...literally

* Bill Moseley as Otis...quite an upgrade from the same character in HO1KC...Zombie added some wit along with the psychotic glare and personality...plus this is the part that I'm sure Zombie wrote for himself if he was an actor...Otis definitely drives the first part of the film ..plus Moseley the actor was once friends with the late LSD-pioneer Timothy Leary, bonus points there

*Sheri-Moon Zombie as Baby...and you know what no-one does to Baby right?...exactly, especially when its a fine piece of ass that wields a shotgun, knife and has lesbian tendencies...this might be the single smartest thing that Zombie did in this film..."hey, my wife's really hot...she likes psychotic horror right?..." anyway, thank's Rob for that one, we all appreciate it...and it's best that her speaking roles we're limited

Everyone Else:

* William Forsythe (can you believe that photo, that might be the best IMDB shot ever) good job as the only other actor outside of Haig invovled in this film...is the only part of the plot that has purpose behind it, and also a great scene with him and a film critic and Elvis...also bonus point for the good looking fu...haven't liked him in a film this much since Out For Justice where he gave creedence to the statement..."anybody here seen Richie...I'm gonna keep coming back until anyone here remembers seeing Richie"

*Tiny & Clevon ...yeah it's not a good Horror flick w/o the Giant from Big Fish and the Face from the Hills Have Eyes...oh yeah and a great scene with Clevon and an Inbred Chicken Farmer

*This guy from just about everything as a poor travelling musician that runs into some good luck, its fair to say that this guy has never taken anything off the table, but never brought anything either, his table has been empty for going on 40 years of acting

*The totally awesome Danny Trejo and some wrestling guy who can barely read the script...you know a movie is morally backwards when Trejo isn't playing one of the bad guys...this goes against everything you learn in film school

Bottom Line:

The Motion Picture Association of America advises that this film is Rated R for sadistic violence, strong sexual content, language and drug use. If that doesn't wet your palet than check out some of these memorable quotes:

--Why? Don't we make ya laugh? Aren't we f'n' funny? You best come up with an answer, cos I'm gonna come back here and check on you and your momma and if you ain't got a reason why you hate clowns, I'm gonna kill your whole f'n family.

-- Jesus Christ, what a f'n mess. There must be 100 yards of bloody asphalt and corpse chunks.

-- I think I smell your wife's p*** juice on my gun... hope it doesn't rust the barrel.

ahhh...if that isn't sophistication I don't know what is...watch for my next review of "Glitter"

2005 Action Movie Smack-Down

That’s right ladies and gentleman. 2005 is coming to a close. And that means there’s only one thing left for these box office titans left to do:

RUMBLE!!!

We have 16 contestants to go through, so lets start up with the first bracket.



VS

Batman vs. Harry Potter

These two combatants are born from the same tragedy…the loss of their parents. One honed themselves into a creature of the night, obsessed with vengeance. The other is a wizard with the strength to take down even the mightiest master of the black arts.

Batman:
Last Seen: Batman Begins
Height: 6’2
Weight: 225 lbs
Powers: None
Skills: Master of Martial Arts, Detection, Science, and pretty much anything else you can think of.

Harry Potter:
Last Seen: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Height: 5’6
Weight: 140 lbs
Powers: 4th year sorcerer
Skills: Curse spells, defending the dark arts, Quidditch, saving the world.

Vegas odds: Batman seems to have the clear advantage here, but you really can’t rule out Mr. Potter. He’s feisty and has proven more than able to over come impossible odds. Can even the Batman stand up to a patronus spell?
But still, the Batman has the height/weight advantage, as well as Mr. Potter probably being afraid of bats.
Advantage: Batman (narrowly).

But forget about the odds. There’s only one way to decide…your votes! So let us know who’s moving on to the elite 8!

It wasn't the airplanes; beauty killed the beast

It might just be the fact that I have a soft spot for monkeys but I loved this movie. The original 1933 version of Kong was a landmark film in respect to special effects, sound and editing. Basically it was the first blockbuster. I saw that version when I was 8 years old from that moment on I’d been captivated by a love story. Ok, granted it’s not your usually love story but the story is real and you believe it. The remake is no different except it is taken to eleven. Peter Jackson, who I am convinced, could make a version of little women and I would go see it; manages to build on an hour and 40 minute original and turn it into a 3 hour masterpiece.

Yes, it is long but it is all about the voyage to a climatic ending that really breaks your heart. We all know how it is going to end but we want the big old gorilla to win. The casting is great even Jack Black turns in his best performance to date as the con man/movie maker Carl Denham. Black’s portrayal is convincing and you really want him to get eaten but whatever creatures are encountered on Skull Island. Mr. Nose Adrian Brody is cast perfectly as the introverted screen writer Jack Driscoll and Love interest of Ann Darrow played beautifully by Naomi Watts who has that girl next door yet a classic beauty that is needed for Kong. The Supporting Characters are adequate and fill in nicely to the sub plot which adds an extra layer to this movie. Seriously there needs to be a new award given at the Oscars we can call it the Andy Serkis award.

Serkis is called on again by Jackson to provide the motion capture images for Kong. Much Like Gollum in LOTR Serkis breathes live into a computer character. Do you hear me Lucas this is how it is done. Kong is a little older with balding hair, pot belly and scared body from years of survival on the Island that time forgot. Kong’s emotions can really been seen with tender scenes that could have come off really stupid if it had not been for the direction of Jackson. I really believed Kong was in love and I believed that Ann Darrow loved him and they mutually cared for each other. I am not afraid to admit I got a little choked up near the end.

The special effects are again superb. The attention to detail, from the natives homes to Kong’s cave to Time Square to see the passion that Jackson has for Kong and the original. The action scenes are tight and the movie score if powerful and hits the heart strings at the right times. I loved the music piece in the spider pit and central park scene. I would recommend viewing the original before seeing this and the little details will shine through.

Jackson has again made in my opinion a masterpiece. He is able to capture the essence of the original and build upon it. You never feel like you are there for 3 hours you believe in the love story and get caught up in the movie magic. I loved Kong and I know Ann did too.

Syriana.

The studios plugged Syriana with the tag-line, "...from the makers of Traffic" & throughout the movie, you are constantly reminded of the similarities between the two: from the hand-held cameras to the color palets used in editing. The political plot-lines for both also follow a controversial subject, drug trafficing into the U.S. in Traffic, and here Stephen Gaghan explores the oil industry and it's ties to the U.S. Government & big business.

In the film, we see four main stories that all tie together in the end. Clooney brings it with one of his finest performances to date, as a CIA operative in the Middle East. The other stories revolve around Jeffrey Wright as a big-business lawyer, Matt Damon as a energy advisor & in the fourth story we see two Middle East youth caught up in their country's economic distress. (I must also note that Alexander Siddig delivers the best performance of the film as a Middle Eastern Prince).

One of my favorite podcasts, Cinecast, runs twice a week. The show is run by two regular guys our age, they thought the movie wasn't the masterpiece that Traffic was because it didn't have an ending that had any hope. Although, I think the film is very good to great, I would agree that Syriana is not a masterpiece, but for different reasons, namely the direction. It's not that Gaghan is a bad director. He does a good job here, but after you are done you feel that Soderbergh's direction in Traffic is what sets that movie apart from this film.

All that said, I believe Syriana is a movie that succeeds in bringing you into the big business geopolitical world of the oil business. And I do think that there is hope in the story, since each of the main characters tries to do the right thing throughout, with varied success (I won't go any further, as I don't want to give anything away).

One quick sidenote, surprisingly, Vice President Dick Cheney said that Syriana was "the best film I've seen in years." Cheney, as you may know, was CEO of the oil services company Haliburton. I think he said that as a ploy to throw people off from his past connections to the oil industry, but it's interesting nonetheless. ***1/2

Anatomy of a Momma’s Boy

I am amazed to see yet again Alex Rodriguez take the easy way out. Well I am not that amazed because the man has done it his whole career.


Having been forced to come to a decision to either play for the USA or The Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic this coming March Alex decided that he could not decide and didn’t want to dishonor either country. To you this might seem to be a legit excuse but coming from the resident minority in the lodge I find it a huge copout. Alex Rodriguez could very well be the biggest wet blanket in all of sports. He stated in the Post that “Playing baseball for the New York Yankees allows you to honor and advance the interest of both without division.” The quote right there says it all.

Do you think that either country would have been upset if they were not chosen? I don’t think so. Who ever you play for that is fine just play. The majority of MLB stars are making a go of the World Baseball Classic. Mike Piazza is playing for Italy for god’s sake. He was able to make a choice with out worry about his image or what might happen because I think we all know that Italy needs to only enter into sporting events that involve foot work.

Alex just doesn’t embody someone I could ever get behind. He shows no passion no real heart he just seems like a guy who wants to be PC and never take a risk with anything. This isn’t meant to be a rant about how I think Arod Scorned me by leaving Seattle and nothing he can do can be great. This is a story about how when forced to make a stand Arod takes the easy way out and tries not to step on toes. He speaks from his wallet and the prepared speeches he must receive. He has no heart.

"Every civilization finds it necessary to negotiate compromises with its own values."

So I got to go to a pair of early screenings this week for some movies that’ll be making their way to theaters in the next couple of weeks. Here’s my take….

Munich.

Spielberg’s pet project about the aftermath of the Olympic assassinations in 1972 is an uneasy affair. I went to this film with two other people. One of them was truly blown away by it, and considers it possibly the best movie he’s seen all year. The other really liked it a lot, but had a few minor issues with the pacing of the film.
I, on the other had, was really conflicted as to whether or not I liked it. When you go to a Spielberg movie, there are certain things you expect and take for granted. The film is shot beautifully, the acting is great, and the tension is top notch. All of that’s there in this film. And if it came from a no name director I would gladly applaud the film just for those qualities. But from Spielberg I want more. We all grew up with his films, and perhaps we’ve been spoiled from the likes of Jaws, Indiana Jones, Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan, etc. And because of that I don’t grade him on a curve like I would for someone like Michael Bay (if can tell a coherent story I give him props).
My problem with this film is a simple one. It’s too long (nearly 3 hours. If a movie is going to be 3 hours I want to see at least 1 monkey), and the flow of the story isn’t as smooth as it should be. The beginning is slow to get going, the middle works, for the most part, really well, and the ending feels clunky and without resolution.
And probably my biggest critique directly coincides with one of things that work best in the film. With every character you meet, there is no black and white. No one is a good guy, and no one is a 100% bad guy. Everything is gray. The problem is it’s so gray, that it can be hard to distinguish how everyone is related to each other, making parts of the film a little hard to follow.
I walked out of the theater giving the film a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. But then something happened. The film stuck with me, and kept replaying itself in my head. The tragedy and emotion of everything that happens resonates and sticks with you. And after digesting it for a few days I found myself appreciating it a lot more. It’s a great movie…not something to take a date to, but worth seeing.
***1/2



Mrs. Henderson Presents.

On the flip side, I got to attend a screening of a little British comedy called “Mrs. Henderson Presents”. The film stars Bob Hoskins and Judi Dench and is directed by Stephen Frears (Dirty Pretty Things, High Fidelity, Grifters). The film tells the true story of a musical revue theater in England, during the depression that becomes the first theater in the country to show nude women on stage. This occurs on the cusp of World War II. The show becomes a hit, and when the bombings of London hit, it becomes the only Theater open in the country (and is also hugely popular with soldiers).
Having said that, it’s not really a war movie. This is really just an incredibly charming British comedy. Judi Dench and Bob Hoskins are absolutely amazing in this film. They spend most of their time butting heads and arguing about pretty much everything imaginable. I can’t recall Dench ever playing a more fun and enjoyable character.
As the film opens, her husband has just died. With in a day of the funeral, she has become completely bored with being a widow and decides to buy a shut down theater. She doesn’t actually know anything about the theater, or the poor, or anything else that doesn’t involve being a rich, spoiled wife. She knows how to get her way, and that’s about it. Pretty much any time she’s not on screen, you miss her presence.
The film also co-stars Christopher Guest (Spinal Tap) in a role that allows him to show off his quick witted humor that most comedians would kill for.
***1/2

Hall of Fame Friday

Rather than the typical "This player should be in the HOF" I thought we'd change gears a little and talk about the concept of Sports Positions. Im going to steer this to the Football World but it could also apply to baseball (For example the Designated Hitter)

Any HOF should reward the Best of All time Players at a position that the sport creates. Football for example needs to honor two unsung positions. Fullback and Punter (And to a lesser Extent, Longsnapper and Holder, but thats a whole other post)



Take the Fullback. In most offenses minus the Run and Shoot etc. The Fullback is integral to the performance of the offense. They have 4 duties. 1) Lead Block on Most Running plays, or a decoy 2) Catch passes 3) Short Yardage running 4)Blitz pickup. Ask Troy Aikman how many Blitz Pickups were made on play action passes by Daryl Moose Johnston. Ask Emmit Smith how many of his 18,355 yards and 164 TDs were assisted by Johnston. While Jimmy has his few choice Redskins he can respect. (Ala Darrell Green and Art Monk) Moose Johnston tops my list of classy Cowboys.





Now I'll add my Hall of Famer canidate to the List. Larry Centers. Why you ask? Well besides the Block and Running he did. He is the ALL TIME Leader in Receptions by a Running Back and Ranks as the 9th leading receiver in NFL History. If you are the best at what you do. You might be a Hall of Famer. (And yes Joe. He was a Redskin at one point)


Now for the Punter. Any coach who has ever Been involved in a tight scoring Football game where field position has been crucial, has learned to love or hate his punter. 4th and 8, inside your own 10. Having a punter who can get you out of a mess turns into a weapon that can win or lose a ballgame. I gave alot of prps to two longtime NFL Punters. Sean Landeta and Jeff Feagles. These guys have been punting since I was in High School (Or in Landetas case, Grade school






So who goes in the HOF? Well both Feagles and Landeta should at some point. But the man that needs to go is Ray Guy. Punter, 6'3", 190 lbs
Born: December 22, 1949, Swainsboro, Georgia High School: Thomson (Georgia)
College: Southern Mississippi Pro: 1973-1986 Oakland/LA Raiders. In three years, 1974, 1975, and 1977- he led the AFC punting average. NFL 75th ANNIVERSARY ALL-TIME TEAM MEMBER. -First Pure Punter Drafted in the 1st Round (23rd player overall).
-Played in seven Pro Bowls (six consecutively) - most ever for a punter!
-Played in seven AFC Championship Games.
-Played in three Super Bowl wins punting 14 times (tied for 3rd for most Super Bowl punts in a career) including a 41.9 average (3rd highest average recorded for a career).

-Led NFL in Punting three times.
-NFL Postseason Record for most punts in a career with 111 punts.
-NFL Postseason Record for Highest Punting Average in a game with 56.0 average.
(This record includes a 71yard punt - the 3rd Longest Postseason punt in NFL history).




Vote Ray in. He has been eligible since 1991. Honor the position that Football created.


*Side notes*
1) I am postponing my Joe Wedding Review until next week.
2) I talked to my Cousin Dave who is spending his holiday month off from school in Parumph Nevada, where he says "There is nothing but casinos condos and whorehouses". (And 33.6 Internet access)
By the way, you can view the Girls of Sheri's Ranch by clicking here. (Warning. Not work appropriate)
He is committed to a new years Jan 7th revival but fully understands the rules of the lodge and can accept any decisions of the Grand Poobah.

Happy Friday all. Remember to make your Pro Bowl Votes.

16 game season tickets still available

It took a while, but the Emerald City has a new prodigal son and a new
clubhouse paleontologist. Here is a couple of things he brings to the table:

(1)Nov. 17, 1992: Drafted by Marlins in expansion draft, makes his major-league debut during the 1993 season.

(2)1994 season: Everett, playing for Marlins' Class AAA team in Edmonton, is suspended for lack of hustle and insubordination that included a verbal confrontation with his manager.

(3)1996: Playing winter ball in Venezuela, Everett was kicked off his team for charging into the stands pursuing fans he said were throwing beer at him

(4)1999 season: To date, his best year — .325, 25 home runs, 108 RBI, 27 stolen bases in just 123 games. Everett also ripped up a lineup card that didn't include his name and told manager Larry Dierker to make out a new one

(5)Aug. 14, 2001: Everett, still with the Red Sox, was fined for spitting and grabbing his crotch after hitting a home run off the Mariners' Jamie Moyer, who had hit him with a pitch earlier in the game.

(6)July, 2005: In a Maxim interview, Everett criticized gays, fans and Wrigley Field and affirmed his belief that dinosaurs never existed, an opinion that had earned him the nickname "Jurassic Carl" in Boston. His thoughts on homosexuality: "Gays being gay is wrong. Two women can't produce a baby, two men can't produce a baby, so it's not how it's supposed to be. There's no connection there. It's totally wrong. I don't care what anybody says. ... I don't believe in gay marriages; I don't believe in being gay."

I'm having a hard time choosing my favorite, as much as I like the thought of a guy running into the stands during winter ball in Venezuela or tearing up a lineup card...it's hard not to love free agency after a guy pulls a Jacko on Moyer and then a couple years later ends up a few lockers down. I'm still going to go with lucky 6, which proves that while his on-field antics my have died, Carl Everett is still a crazy bigot at heart. "YOU HEAR ME, THEY NEVER EXISTED".

Good work Bavasi...I hear your next target is Sidney Ponson, maybe you can get him and Steve Howe in a sign an trade. What's Rocker doing? Let's get the band back together man!!!

Anyway Lazlo has 20 1/2 hours left to make the most important decision of his life:

Anyway here's a little enlightenment for your Thursday (welcome back big fella):

Preview for Tomorrow

HOF Friday will honor the most unappreciated postions in the Hall of Fame.
The Fullback and the Punter.




Also prepare your ammunition boys. Tomorrow I will be posting the Joe 2.0 Wedding Review. Prepare to break out the Guns.

We will refer to it in general as "Big Friday!!"

Curious Guy: College vs. Pro

OH, IT’S ON! You are about to get served, Jimbo. Nice work with the time stamp, by the way. Couldn’t have updated the story to the top of the queue, eh? Apparently not. To preface, I’m going to preface each section with an Anchorman quote. Because the movie (and its second disk, an entire movie full of deleted scenes cut into an actual 2nd plot) are so full of quotable quotes it’s almost not fair.


“We need you. Hell, I need you. I'm a mess without you! I miss you so damn much. I miss being with you, I miss being near you. I miss your laugh. I miss your scent; I miss your musk. When this all gets sorted out, I think you and me should get an apartment together!”

Champ Kind bringing the drama in expressing missing Ron Burgundy leads us to your mention of the drama of March Madness. But the drama of the professional leagues playoffs has the same tradition and excitement that fans love about March Madness. Yes, I must admit that the greed of the professional sports leagues has turned each of the leagues (MLB, NBA & NFL only, since hockey isn’t an American sport & the MLS sucks compared to the foreign futbol leagues, but that’s another column) playoffs waaaaay too long. They each take about a month to finish & have way too many days between games to stretch out TV coverage for money-making devices. That said, people tune in because of the heightened playoff atmospheres each sport brings. We all remember Lynn Swann’s SB catches, Jeter being in the right place at the right time almost every October & MJ hitting 3’s from all over the court over Portland – because these moments are singed into our brains where the clutch performers bring it when it counts.


“That's the smell of desire my lady.”

Brian Fantana’s not-so-sweet smelling quote goes out to your argument about the college co-eds that the college experience brings. This is something I don’t have much to argue. No man can argue against the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders though. Pro Sports have that. Plus, the NFL also brought us the greatest cheerleader girl-on-girl bathroom incident ever to be in print earlier this year.

Also, we need to mention the names in Anchorman while we are here. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay must have spent hours debating over what fake names were the funniest, and we are all winners from that work put in for comedy’s sake. When your rival anchor is named, Wes Mantooth (Thanks for the 70's history lesson, Goose), you just need to pay respect to comic genius.


“I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch. Here it goes down, down into my belly...”

Ron Burgundy drinking on the set before (and on air) going live intro’s my comeback to your paragraph about college sports bringing classic moments like Cheney’s turtle-like resemblance and classic quotes. But come on! Pro Sports have as much, if not more, classic quotes than college can ever bring. Just profiling Jim Mora or Dick Vermeil alone in the NFL would make a solid argument.


“I'm proud of you fellas. You all kept your head on a swivel, and that's what you gotta do when you find yourself in a vicious cock fight.”

After the news-team brawl in the alley, Burgundy reflects on the teams performance in the fight. And you fight when you are loyal. Jimbo, you next mentioned loyalty (which I brought up during our first go around) of college athletics. And I think this is where demographics and where you grew up comes into play. If you are from Tennessee, chances are you bleed Orange & think the SEC is the greatest conference ever no questions asked. That is because for a while (until the Oilers moved there), the Vols were the only thing going there. So my point is that college loyalty has many other factors that add to your so-called “loyalty”.


“They've done studies, you know. Sixty percent of the time it works every time.”

Okay, we are halfway done, so bear with me. You next mentioned Video Games in passing, claiming that NCAA Football ’06 was the best sports game ever. Brian Fantana’s math in his follow-up description of Sex Panther leads me to some statistics of my own. I’m partial to the Madden franchise. I’d also like to point out that on 2004’s sales (2005 will come out after the new year) linked below, there are 3 NFL games in the top 10, 1 NBA game and no college games listed. An interesting statistic.


“I'm very important. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.”

Money. You had to bring up money. Guys in contract years & agents the likes of Scott Boras don’t make sport fun, I would have to agree with you on that. But let’s not forget that the NCAA is not without sin & boosters have helped out college programs since the turn of the century. Countless programs have been sanctioned and will continue to get sanctioned after cheating and getting caught (or not caught).


“I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker.”

You got a random quote in, so that’s mine. My favorite quote from Anchorman.


“You're so wise. You're like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.”

Rivalries are in all sports. Hell, competition and rivalry even stretch into work or family board games. You can’t tell me that college rivalries are any more special than RedSox-Yankees, ManU-Arsenal, Celtics-Lakers or Cowboys-Redskins. When the Skins beat the Boys, you feel it as much, if not more than when the Cougs miraculously take down the Dawgs in the Apple Cup.

I’ll leave you with Brian Fantana’s response to Champ’s rant about Ron (previously quoted): “Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you stop talking for a while.” Jimbo, you might want to sit the next couple of plays out.

Return to Glory?

I love to see that the buffs are targeting Dan Hawkins from Boise St. I don’t know a whole lot about him but I have heard the man is a great leader not only on the field and in practice but he’s been key in all the matters outside the normal coaching focuses. He is a great person in the city of Boise and has built a strong tie between the team and the city. Something that Barnett was never able to do. Barnett might have been good at motivation but he seriously lacked in the key department of relationship building. The city of Boulder needs to have that love for there team they had in the 80-90’s.



I don’t know if I like the style of play Hawkins will bring to the Big 12 or if that will even fly time will tell and this isn’t the WAC. I think it can. I do know I hate running the Boise O in NCAA ’06 – key here are tight ends. Which CU has a ton of? They lack speed at WR. They have a perfect RB in Hugh Charles to fit the Broncos mold so I think it bodes well but I can’t get all randy yet since I don’t know if the OC is coming along with Hawkins… that is huge.

Finding My Civic Fortitude….

Yes, the train has returned from his civic duty and paid it back ten fold. I was even elected Jury Forman. Slight pause here for you all to laugh……………………………………. Ok, I don’t know how that happened but I seemed to be the smartest kid in there. I would love to report I was on a nice racketeering charge or a vice sting but I can’t. We got to handle the case of the little Pilipino woman who dropped a beat down on her landlord (a 6 foot Dutchman who was basically Joe in 20 years.) I wanted to vote not guilty for the mere fact she laid an Enter the dragon roundhouse to the face but we have to let the facts speak. Needless to say this was a case that never should have gone to court and was mostly he said she said and a phone call to 9-1-1 that brought the police out who then arrested the woman thus starting the chain of events that got the Train a week off from work. I thought why am I here for this? Can’t the city find a better case or save the money and build a better viaduct or pay for a cable internet connection in the jury lobby or pay me more then 10$ a day. We deliberated for 2 days on this thing only to come up with a hung jury because one person didn’t feel the assault was the bad. I realized I failed in my attempt to be Henry Fonda. All in all it was interesting and frustrating at the same time. Once you get in the court room you really feel like you have a little window into something rarely seen by most people unless you are Kevin and have seen every episode of Law and Order and Murder She Wrote. Alas, there was no Chewbacca defense but I was hoping for one in the closing arguments. Speaking of that we did have a hot young prosecuting attorney who just made the day bearable with her Angie Harmon looks and her Perry Mason abilities I wanted to keep the case going. No one ever said “objection” quite like her.

Chuck Norris

1) Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

2) Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

3) Chuck Norris does not have joy in his life but he gives it to people anyway.

4) Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.

5) When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.

6) Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

7) Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

8) A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until the man exploded.

9) This Chuck Norris tale has been removed due to content by the Parent’s League.

10) Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.

11) To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.

12) Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wise men, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

13) Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

14) The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise," and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided.

15) Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

16) Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

17) Chuck Norris lives by only one rule: Keep On Truckin’.

18) The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

19) After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. His reasoning? It was more "humane".

20) Chuck Norris once went to a frat party, and proceeded to roundhouse every popped collar in sight. He then drank three kegs and broke every window at the party, just because he's Chuck Norris.

21) Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

22) Chuck Norris found out about Conan O'Brien's lever that shows clips from "Walker: Texas Ranger" and is working on a way to make it show clips of Norris having sex with Conan's wife.

23) If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

24) One of the greatest cover-ups of the last century was the fact that Hitler did not commit suicide in his bunker, but was in fact tea-bagged to death by Chuck Norris.

25) When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

26) Chuck Norris took my virginity, and he will sure take yours. If you're thinking to yourself, "That's impossible, I already lost my virginity.", then you are dead wrong.

27) Chuck Norris chased a man down, tackled him and held him pinned to the ground while he repeated "I will never try to pull a fast one on Chuck Norris" for 3 and a half hours when the man didn't give him exact change. He then roundhouse kicked him so hard he flew across the country, landing in a small trailer along the eastern seaboard. The man has the footprint on his chest to this day.

28) Hellen Keller's favorite color is Chuck Norris.

29) Chuck Norris frequently signs up for beginner karate classes, just so he can "accidentally" beat the crap out of little kids.

30) Chuck Norris once pulled a bus full of school children teetering over the edge of a cliff back onto the road with his bare hands, saving everybody inside. Even as they cheered, he screamed, "I'm not your savior!" and head-butted the bus over the edge, sending them all to their horrible doom.

"I'm interrupting this interview for the purpose of making further inquiries"

The Interview

This is a little gem from Australia that you have to make sure not to miss. A pre-Matrix Hugo Weaving stars as Eddie, a normal average Joe. At 5 o'clock in the morning, the police blasted their way into Eddie's apartment and took him to the police headquarters. He's sitting in an interrogation room opposite detective John Steele who frequently interrupts the interview letting Eddie sweat until he comes back. He's suspected of car theft and even murder. But he isn't the only one under pressure; the detective himself has people on his back with other agendas.

A lot of people compare this film with the “Usual Suspects”. And in some respects they are similar. Namely that they both really just deal with a cop and a suspected criminal in a room talking. But, where as the “Usual Suspects” tells most of its story through flashbacks, “Interview” spends the entire movie in this small claustrophobic room watching these characters verbally wrestle with each other. And don’t be expecting these films to end the same, either. The twists that “Interview” provides are things of brilliance.

This film really shows off the acting chops of Hugo Weaving, who really is the center of this movie. His is an Oscar worthy performance in my mind. He creates brilliant moments of tension with just the subtlest of methods. This is the kind of movie that really focus’ on the craft of acting.

I really don’t want to say to much more about it, as I don’t want to spoil it. This kind of movie is best enjoyed if you don’t really know what to expect.

Mother Goose Meets John Clayton

It was an average day...December 13th. 11:45am. While waiting for a lunch meeting I was listening to the humble rantings of KJRAM 950, Dick Fain and the proverbial sage of the NFL...Mr John Clayton.

I hear a trivia question and my competitive juices flow.... A little Seahawk Trivia? The winner gets a $50 HD HotSpurs Gift Card? Who cares about the prize. Im going to throw down and beat John Clayton Damnit!

The question comes out......Who was the Leading Rusher in the Last Seahawk Playoff Win.
The mind clicks...Last Win 1984 vs the Raiders. My Man Curt Warner shredded his knee in the 1st game. Franco Harris was signed. David Hughes? Eric Lane? They had a parade of tailbacks that year. Randall Morris? Zach Dixon. WAIT! Old #33. From THE Washington state U! Dan the Man Doornink.

I hit the speed dial on my Blackberry (You never know when you may need to dial KJR)
2 times Busy. 3rd Time. It rings! Is this one of those Ring forever since they already have an answer?

Poll Tracker gets on. Do you have an answer? I give the name. "Line one has it...whats your name and where are you?" I was in Redmond at the time but I always represent. "Jeff from Federal Way"

They put me on with JC. I give him the answer. DANNNN DOOORNICK! (For some reason the name excited Mr Clayton. I suddenly felt like breaking into an Irish Mickey imitation but was shuffled back to Poll Tracker.

Anywho. Its not a great story. But since no one else is posting.

Where the hell is the Train? Did he get on a Trial? Does Train actually hold someones legal future in his hand?

On my quest for Dan Doornick photos. I found an interesting Seahawk Fansite. Cjheck it out here

4 years of glory worth its weight in the Hall...

It's time to bring up a topic that I’ve wanted to write about that I mentioned briefly in my Airplane post, regarding my distaste for the NBA. The larger topic worth discussing is not my distaste for basketball, but my preference for all things collegiate (please exclude college baseball from this list) compared to pro. So, instead of doing a compare/contrast from professional to collegiate sports, I’m simply going to list some of the things that I dig about the college game, specifically football and basketball and I challenge Joe 2.0 to make a competing post proving me right or wrong. The gauntlet has been laid my friend, come and get sum’: ( and thanks to the writings of Kevin Smith and Earl to guide me along)

“Breakfast, shmreakfast. Look at the score, for Christ's sake. It's only the second period and I'm up 12 to 2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, "the Whale," they only beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.”

Perhaps your saying what, wtf? What does this comment have to do with anything, to that I say….exactly. Seriously though, the size of the league, school and regionalism sets up David vs. Goliath match up’s every year and especially when talking about men’s college basketball. You’re lying to yourself if seeing Bucknell tackle Kansas in the tourney is not high drama, not only from the gambling perspective, but from the satisfaction that everyone gets when seeing the unpredictable. Professional sports can’t replicate the drama that is played out in the college field houses and stadiums week-end and week-out.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this tall drink of water headed my way is a pillar of the shopping community who informed me earlier today of a nefarious plan of his to screw my girlfriend in an extremely uncomfortable place…What... like the back of a Volkswagen?”

One word: Co-Ed’s…yes, yes…I know all about the Seagals and nothing beats the TB parking lot and Panther Cheerleading after-hours…but, I like my women below the drinking age and easily influenced….(crickets chirping, tumbleweed blowing)….ummm…aaahuuumm…yeah, so, and if nothing else it makes a matchup like Texas vs. USC all the more interesting to compare Southern Cal hotties to just straight Southern hotties…plus the mascot factor...Horned Frogs, Cattermounts, Zips...this is a definite plus over the pro game



“Listen, not a year goes by, not a year, that I don't hear about some escalator accident involving some bastard kid which could have easily been avoided had some parent - I don't care which one - but some parent conditioned him to fear and respect that escalator.”

Here’s to the dress code policy…sports hernia’s…Sox/Yanks…T f’n O…Mamba and every other worthless story that ESPN, Fox, CBS, HBO….completely over-hypes and diverts away from the game actually being played…I know…BCS…John Cheney…Baylor…the collegiate ranks aren’t w/o their share of overblown stories, but not nearly to the degree of professional sports, and usually, in the case of John Cheney, extremely amusing….”I’m a mean SOB”


“You have my Punisher War Journal #6, my copy of "Fletch" and the remote control to my TV. Now, I know it's going to be hard to give this stuff up because of its sentimental attachment... Sentimental attachment? Look, if I have any of that crap it's because you brought it over my house and left it there.”

Joe 2.0 touched upon this in our commentary leading up to this post…Loyalty; there is no other way to explain any fan that roots for Oregon, WSU and Idaho. True, loyalty seems to come and go, even at college (see sold out Husky stadium five years ago, presently averaging 15,000 less), but for the rest of those people to watch a 3-20 team over the past two years is dedication that is either extremely ignorant or true fan loyalty to the program…you’ll find a lot more of these fans in the collegiate rank than you will with the pro ranks….and I’ll admit this is a tough argument for fans of the following teams: Kansas City Chiefs, Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, but by and large a sold out Husky Stadium still beats a playoff Qwest crowd, (sorry Dude)...(please also reference: Midwest fans are the best fans: Nebraska, Wisconsin, Michigan, ND, Iowa, etc…)

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned for Sega.”

NCAA Football ’06 is the greatest sports game of all-time. That’s fact, not opinion.

“My Grandmother always used to say "why buy the cow, when you can get the sex for free"…She said that?... All the time, before she became a lesbian on her 60th Birthday, but that's besides the point.”

Ever notice that guy that’s in the contract year? (see: Moses Alexander ’05, Jerome James ’04, Boone ’02, list is really too f’n long, etc…) well image if a guy plays like he’s in a contract year for 3-4 years (football) or 1-2 years (basketball) and when he decides to leave its not like he’s going to hurt you on another team, all you have to do is find another guy that wants to play like it’s a contract year for a couple of years…and the wheels of life continue to spin…and here’s hoping that Stanback and Roy start playing like it’s a contract year

“Silent Bob stole the schematics from some foolish carpenter and found a weakness just like the f'n Death Star. You knock this crossbeam out and, f’n' bickety-bam, the whole stage comes crashing down.”

Here’s to: High Schooler’s….parity…and steroids….individually they have all watered down their collective sport, together they create further alienation from the common fan…this is a debatable topic I realize, but the collegiate game, tends to take care of matters the ol’fashion way…degrees of the ban…from the SMU rule to taking away TV money…the NCAA runs like Cobra Kai…strike hard, strike fast, no mercy…

One time my cousin Walter got this cat stuck in his ass. True story. He bought it at the local mall, so the whole fiasco wound up on the news. It was embarrassing for my relatives and all. But the next week, he did it again. Different cat, same results, complete with a trip to the emergency room. Then, last week, I saw him in the pet store. He was buying another cat. I said, "Walt, what the hell are you doing, you know you're just gonna get this cat stuck up your ass too, why don't you knock it off?" And he says to me, "Brodie, how the hell else am I supposed to get the gerbil out?" My cousin was a weird guy.

Really no point to this one…I’ve just always like this quote…

“I love the smell of commerce in the morning.”

To an increasingly bad trend for collegiate athletics…no, I don’t need to hear “Welcome to Jungle” when Josh Brown is kicking off…give me an air raid and the band following a TD than …”here come the BOOM…ARE YOU READY…HERE COMES THE BOOM!”…however it was a sad day when the Rose Bowl sold out to whatever the telecom hot stock of the week is…

“Why don't they ever bring back or remake good shows, like 'BJ and the Bear.' Now there's a concept I can't get enough of, a man and his monkey.”

Because there’s not one but almost 10-20 rivalries that date back over 100 years in college football…and if basketball were that old….there would be too…you can’t know you future unless you know your past…and trying not to get too sentimental…it’s fundamental to the game to remember the 4 horsemen…and the first forward pass…this history of all professional sports is eventually rooted in the college game…long before the NFL, NBA, MLB, NHL…there were regional schools that competed w/o contracts and agents, but for pride and tradition…there’s my Deford piece right there….

“Yeah, who's your favorite New Kid. Yeah, call me Joey. Oh, come on. Don't make me get loose. Yeah, that's right. Call me Donnie. Oh, girl. Oh, please don't go girl.”

To the best quote of the movie…and this debate may work against me, but, where-else can a player like Nate Robinson be an All-American or Duck fan’s remembering the dominance of Akili Smith, or Ryan Leaf’s dominating junior season…unfortunately all that remains of the great names in college sports, is mainly there failures in the pro-game, which many players are made out to play…should this diminish their dominant seasons at college no, does it yes…the failures of Cade McNown won’t wash away what he did to UW for 3 years at UCLA…I won’t forget the play of Miles Simon when the ‘Cats won the NCAA tourney, the MVP of the squad for the entire season…the Pro’s also have the one-hit wonder phenomenon, but in college the obscure hits go just a little deeper and a little fonder or a little more hurtful depending on who you ask….

So that’s it…hopefully somebody cares enough to respond…and Joe 2.0 I look forward to hearing a Joe 2.0 retort, probably involving Ray Lewis or Randy Moss….

Giving the man the respect that he has earned

Lets take a moment and honor Richard Franklin Lennox Thomas Pryor III.
Very few celebrity deaths make me stop and think..."Man we really lost someone special today". Over the weekend we lost Richard Pryor and that is excactly what I thought. Talk about a man who not only changed the face of comedy but changed many stereotypes of Black Comedy actors along the way. Chosen as #1 in Comedy Central's 100 Greatest Stand-Ups of All Time

Its amazing to feel this way about someone who has rarely been seen in the last 15 years, sans a cameo performance in David Lynchs Lost Highway.

Dick Butkas said in an interview something that applies to Richard and other people of fame.
"The true definition of Greatness is to not remind someone of anyone else...to be truely unique"

Rest in peace Richard.

Seahawks Sunday Review

While Joe was still testing his box springs, the Hawks welcomed the 2-10 S.F. 49ers lead by QB Alex Smith. I have to say, this 49er team either wasn't the same team the Hawks faced a couple of weeks ago or something clicked last MNF when the Seahawks put away the Eagles.

These last couple of weeks, the Hawks have played some mediocre teams and have put them away early. Not to say that either of those teams have been much competition but the Hawks never gave them a chance to feel like they were in the game.

These games are giving the lower string guys confidence which hopefully will be built up for the playoffs. Yesterday the Hawks opened their game by unveiling the NFC West banner for this year and went out and took over. Scoring on their first drive and then the Niners turned the ball over and I turned to a fellow Hawk fan and said they need to score on the first play and they did to Jurevicious in the endzone. Alexander quietly put together a 100 yard game and Hasslebeck put together on 4 TD strikes.

A good game and they will be tested next week, even though it's a down year for the Tennessee Oilers/Titans...

What is everyone else thoughts?

I will give you yet another topic...are the Seahawks impressing your or until they win a playoff game, are they not a contender?

Puerto Vallarta.

Let's take a break from our normal programming to visit a friend down in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Jenny & I are having a great time and the box-springs are getting a good work out. I was able to catch the Monday Night Football game where the Hawks showed up in the snow and apparently the Eagles didn't get the memo the game was on a Monday instead of the regular Sunday matchup + futbol is on everywhere & I was able to watch the Champions league matchup between Real Madrid & Olympicaos the other day -- so the trip hasn't been completely without a touch of home.

At least one of our days was spent sick laying by the side of the pool after too many tequila shots and/or margaritas the day/night before -- but other that that the trip has been amazing.

Thanks to all that were able to make our wedding, for all the advice & for the support. I hope you each had a great time and I'll see you next Saturday at Jimbo's.

Hall of Fame Friday (How much is a Super bowl worth?)

How much you ask? Ask Irving Fryar.

This year whether I like it or not...Michael Irvin is getting consideration as a 1st ballot HOF. Has anyone heard Irving Fryars name? No? Thats what 1 super bowl and a 46-10 blowout can do to you.

Compare his stats to Mr Irvin

Irvin 750 catches 11904yds 15.9 65TD's
Receptions:
17th
Receiving yards:
14th
Receiving TDs:
35th

Now for Irving Fryar.

851 catches 12785yds 15.0 84TDs

Receptions:
7th
Receiving yards:
8th
Receiving TDs:
13th

Add in 2055yds in Punt returns and 3 TD's and you have a pretty complete player. Has Michael Irvin ever returned a punt? Maybe at "The U". 5 time pro bowler and 1 time all pro. 1984-92 New England Patriots 1993-95 Miami Dolphins 1996-98 Philadelphia Eagles 1999-2000 Washington Redskins

Dont forget his career at Nebraska. 1981-1983 He was All-American and All-Big 8 selection in 1983 before becoming the first overall pick in the draft, Fryar was good reciever on a running team that featured Heisman trophy winner Mike Rozier. He caught 40 passes for 780 yards and eight touchdown averaging 19.5 yards per catch. He was also an unbelievable punt returner averaging 13.3 yards per return in 1982 and 15.4 in 1984.

Could he control his 1st years in New England where he had QB's like Tony Eason, Marc Wilson, Tom Ramsey, Scott Zolak, and Tom "Moscow on the" Hudson? (Although he did have Hugh Breedlove Millen). How about the Ty Detmer, Bobby Hoying Koy Detmer group in Philly. Can we find another player who caught TD's from both Ty AND Koy?

So the question remains. How much is a Super bowl worth? Apparently alot to the Hall of Fame.

Happy Friday all!

What to get Goose for Xmas

Everything you need to fill peoples stockings can be found here

What man/woman/child wouldnt want a Goose TShirt?

"Abstinence is 100% safe, which is less of a percentage than..." "Whatever, I don't care, I don't major in math."

There are two reasons to love this weeks movie:
1. Brett Easton Ellis
2. Roger Avery

Brett is most famously known as writing the book “American Psycho” as well as “Less Than Zero”. The problem is, neither of those films really capture the spirit of the books they are based on. That is until Roger Avery came along.
You may not recognize the name, but you know his work. Roger Avery used to work in a video store with a buddy of his named Quentin Tarentino. They talked about movies and wrote screenplays together. One day Roger showed Quentin a script he was working on for a movie called “Pandemonium Reigns”. Quentin then started talking about a movie he was writing called “Reservoir Dogs”. The two then combined both screenplays into one movie, and Reservoir Dogs was truly born. After this success Roger went on to co-write True Romance, Killing Zoe, and Pulp Fiction with Quentin.
Eventually the two had a falling out (Mostly because Quentin was taking more and more of the credit) and Roger went out onto his own and made one of my all time favorite movies, based on a Brett Easton Ellis novel:

The Rules of Attraction.

Here’s a plot outline…
Camden College. Sean Bateman (James Van Der Beek) is the younger brother of depraved Wall Street broker Patrick Bateman. He's also a drug dealer who owes a lot of money to "fellow" dealer Rupert Guest (Clifton Collins, Jr.), as well as a well-known womanizer, for he sleeps with nearly half of the female population on campus. Lauren Hynde (Shannyn Sossamon) is, technically, a virgin. She's saving herself for her shallow boyfriend, Victor Johnson (Kip Pardue), who's left the States to backpack across Europe. Her slutty roommate, Lara (Jessica Biel), has the hots for Victor as well. Paul Denton (Ian Somerhalder), who used to date Lauren, is openly bisexual and attracted to Mitchell Allen (Thomas Ian Nicholas), who's dating Candice (Clare Kramer) to prove to Paul that he's not gay. Sean loves Lauren. Paul loves Sean. And Lauren may love Sean.

This would be a pretty standard affair if the characters weren’t so messed up in the head. This movie is vulgar, tragic, funny, violent, and morally corrupt.
Translation: It’s awesome.
Roger Avery has developed a cinematic style that is truly all his own. For someone that lived in the shadow of one of the most prolific filmmakers in our lifetimes, that’s an impressive feat.

Now…it’s disclaimer time. If any of the harshnesses in culture really bother you (i.e Rape, suicide, etc), don’t bother with this film. It’s going to push you…and not gently mind you. This movie walks up to you with a baseball bat and slugs you in the face.

It’s epic.

Uninspried Wednesday...

After dealing with a stressful morning of work during a re-organization...Jimbo is feeling unispired for "That-guy" Wednesday...so it's taking a week off, to gain some momentum...meanwhile this has been a long time coming...and I'd love to hear some comments from the resident Buffalo supporting at the Lodge...

Green Eagle Down

Last night in the snow, a few things happened last night that I found to be rather awkward. First the Seahawks were blowing out the Philadelphia Eagles. That wasn't surprising, it was that they were doing it on National Television. Second, how the defense stepped up and might have had their best tackling/hitting game of the year was also a shock.

I want to quote a friend last night: "The Seahawks are goin' to the Super Bowl"
Reply from the whole room: " I wouldn't be so sure of that"
My reasoning for this is because it's been since 1984 that Hawks have made any noise in the playoffs. So not to say I'm hesitant but I can't just jump to the conclusion that the Hawks are Bowl bound. They need to prove it to me.

Great show last night though, I was surprised with how the Eagles layed down and died and how dominating the Hawks were last night!

Bowl Pick of the Day....

Poinsettia Bowl

Navy vs. Colorado St.

Waste of Time?Not if you are a true fan of the Option. Navy is making it's 3rd straight bowl game while Colorado St is back after missing a bowl game last year. This game looks to be a shoot out. The Middies have the nations number 1 groung game averaging 305. The Rams look to go to air first. Justin Holland and David Anderson will be playing pitch and catch. Anderson has over 1000 yards Receiving and Holland has cut down on his throwing error. Navy might make this a track meet considering that the Rams have the 104th ranked rushing defense. Look for Navy's Lamar Owens ( led the team in passing and rushing) to execute the option to near perfection. This might not be a marque matchup but if you are looking for a good game during the early weeks of the bowl season you might want to take a look at this one. You can't beat the Honor and class that Navy brings and a Ram team that will be ready to play for a win and respect after a down year.

Star Rating

**1/2

Train's Take

Until Goose writes that book on how to stop the option don't look for a denfensive battle in this one. Look for Navy to control the clock with that run attack. The Rams are going to get there share of points but they like to air it out and they can't afford any turnovers which will force them to play catchup and they are not a team built to come from behind. Look for Navy to shut the door early on this one.

Ramblings of the Goose on a Monday AM

Well the night is here.
Hawk Eagles. the Battle of the birds. Monday night Football

1st and formost lets give a HUGE Hawk shoutout to the Washington Redskins. Who by beating the rams clinched the NFC west for the Hawks. Looking foward to the 1st offical Lodge gathering. I will only refer to Jimmy tonight as the Grand Poobah. Dont worry about Grub Tonight boys. Mother Goose has you covered.

Some random thoughts from the weekend that was...(I will reserve Joe's Wedding commentary until the time is right)

1) Nothing is cooler than watching Larry Triplett score a TD for the Colts. As John Madden said it best...when you see a fat Guy Score...you get to see a Fat Guy Dance. Nothing is sweeter.

2) Fantasy football is over for me. Time to find something else to occupy my life.

3) Washingtons upset of the Zags was bigger than either of the two games last year vs AZ in terms of importance, and ranks just below the upset of Stanford in the biggest Romar wins. The loss did convince me that if Adam Morrison is not the NCAA Player of the year, then he will be in the top 3.

4) I want Terry Tate to come out of retirement

5) The Florida Marlins are changing the face of baseball with this Smither-esque yardsale of players.

6) The Heisman Trophy is awarded to the Best player in College Football. While Vince Young is the MVP to his Team. Reggie Bush will hold the hardware, and deserves it.

7) "Hey. Who left this pickle here?"

8) Looks like NBC has all but cancelled Joey. This should conclude any posts that start with "Did you see Joey last night?". May he rest in peace like After MASH and Maude.

9) Saddam Hussein told the judge at his trial Monday that "I am not afraid of execution". Would anyone else like to see this as a Pay Per view event? I'd like Vince McMahon to MC the event.

10) On a boring Sunday afternoon while flipping channels, I managed to catch about 20 minutes of 40 days and 40 nights. I asked myself when looking at the women in his office and how hot they dressed..Where is this office? and how do I get hired there? I'll do anything.

11) Jimmy. My cousin Dave can be emailed at kennetharone@yahoo.com

12) My cousin wrote a book. Im not quite sure why I am letting you guys know this...but it rounded out my post to an even 12 items.

I do's and don'ts

So, I am just sitting here at my computer looking at some pictures of a house and its roof. You might think hey, that Jordan has a super cool job and he must get all the ladies, well I do but that is not the point. I’m writing a policy today for a couple who just tied the knot and got back from 3 weeks in Rome. Ah, marital bliss. I could here it in there voices. I thought to myself call back in 4 years and let’s see how happy you kids are.

I know I sound like I’m rambling and a bitter divorcee well I am but that’s a whole blog onto itself. I thought as a collective group meaning the Lodge could offer up some advice to the groom to be since the majority of us having been married or are currently married. Sorry Dude but your time will come and hey I head you and Meghan were moving in together! Maybe a little anecdote on keeping the marriage going or some does and don’ts cause lets face it Joe is going to need the help.

So here is some advice from the divorcee…. Learn it, live it, love it.........

You are always wrong no matter what the situation.
Tell her you love her every day
No matter how hard it might get, work through it.
Communicate

I know this is stuff you have all heard before but hey it doesn’t hurt to hear it from the lodge.

I am proud of you Joe. Happy to see settling down and I wish you kids the best.

Hall of Fame Friday

The Inaugural Post

Here is my 1st post dedicated to players that should be in the HOF. To quote Hannibal Lecter "He covets. That's his nature. And how do we begin to covet? Do we seek out things to covet? We begin by coveting what we see every day." So my 1st post will be near and dear to my heart.

Arthur Monk
Born Dec. 5, 1957, White Plains, NY
A running back at Syracuse University, Monk was drafted by the Washington Redskins in the first round of the 1980 NFL draft. The 6-foot-3, 210-pounder was moved to wide receiver. Monk has good seasons up until 1984. Then..... Art Monk blew up. He lead the league with 106 catches, a record at the time, for 1,372 yards and 7 touchdowns. He followed that with 91 receptions in 1985. Named to the NFL All Pro team in 1984 and 1985. At one point, Monk had the single-season record for receptions the career record for receptions, and the record for most consecutive games with at least one reception.

Monk has since seen his records fall, but he shrugs that off, too. "I'm excited for whoever can [break the records]," he says. "Once I realized I had a chance of breaking a record, it was sort of a goal to make it happen, and it was really exciting experience that feeling. It was never something I wish no one else does. That's part of the game. It's not just playing, but achieving the goals you may have for yourself. So it was something I was able to accomplish, and you're excited when other people do that." Thats a class act people.

now to add the statistical proof
Career stats 940 catches 12721yds 13.5ypc 68TDs

Receptions 5th
Recieving Yds 9th
Recieving TD's 29th

and now the most important stats.
Suspensions 0
Drug Arrests 0
Team imposed fines 0
Super Bowl Rings 3

Monk was a unanimous all-rookie selection. All-Pro and All-NFC choice in 1984 and 1985 and was named second-team All-NFC in 1986. He was selected to play in the Pro Bowl following the 1984, 1985 and 1986 seasons.

When he retired, he was the NFL's all-time leading receiver with 940 receptions, a record that was broken by Jerry Rice and his since been surpassed by three other players.

In a game where his records are surpassed by pass happy teams with ego centric Wideouts who just want everyone to "Throw them the damn ball". Monk stands for the reason that I fell in love with football.

I have vistied Canton once in my life, but I vow this. If Canton does not enshrine Monk, then I will never return.

Vote Monk to the Hall.

Adding members to the Blog

Those of may have remembered my cousin Dave from out last Hooters gathering. (At least the last one I went to). Funny Fat Guy and Movie buff.

I was going to see what the criteria was for adding lodge members.

If I recall, the Water Buffalo lodge from the Flinstones had a tough initiation.


Im thinking of some sort of Hell Week to join...or maybe a Test Post.

Thoughts on adding members?

Can Korea bring it? Damn straight it can.

After Jayne's enthusiastic review of Audition yesterday, I was reminded of a Korean film that I recently watched and still can't completely stop thinking about almost 4 weeks later. This film is Oldboy. So today I'm going to explain a synopsis of the film (without spoiling the major plot twists) and recommend this film.

Oldboy starts off with a scene of our main character, Dae-su, who is blitzed out of his mind (as drunk as Train when his "ass hurt") and being held by the cops in an unnamed Korean city. Through his drunken ramblings, we learn that Dae-su is a funny guy & somewhat successful, but his family life more or less isn't the most healthy or ideal. Dae-su is then kidnapped and imprisoned in a shabby cell for 15 years without explanation. He then is released, equipped with money, a cellphone and expensive clothes. As Dae-su strives to explain his imprisonment and get his revenge, he soon finds out that not only his kidnapper has still plans for him.

A friend of mine explained that this film is part of a 3 part film series by the director, Chan-wook Park, dubbed "Mr. Vengeance" by critics and fans. Park apparently made three films that studied vengeance and revenge in their most raw forms. After watching Oldboy, I was reminded of how Kubrick (one of my Top 5 Favorite Directors) always tooks a theme (Lust in Eyes Wide Shut, Rage & Death in Full Metal Jacket, and Isolation in The Shining) and focused his films around that theme until it was singed into your brain for days on end. Oldboy sits with you after viewing in the same way.

Chan-wook has been quoted saying, "I don't feel enjoyment watching films that evoke passivity. If you need that kind of comfort, I don't understand why you wouldn't go to a spa." Which explains the raw emotion in his plots. He also justified his themes with, "Basically, I'm throwing out the question 'When is such violence justified?' To get that question to touch the audience physically and directly - that's what my goal is. In the experience of watching my film, I don't want the viewer to stop at the mental or the intellectual. I want them to feel my work physically. And because that is one of my goals, the title 'exploitative' will probably follow me around for a while."

The screenplay is very well done. Every detail and camera shot has been thought out. The special effects are subtle in most places, surreal in others, but are overall very effective and visually stunning. Even though you are somewhat sickened by what human beings will do for revenge, the story is believable and you are sucked into it's mystery.

I also need to mention that there is a fight scene where the main character uses only a hammer to take on a mob in close quarters that is maybe one of the Top 5 Fight Scenes that I've ever scene, all shot in one shot. That said, it's not an action film, but rather a twisted drama and disturbing mystery. With the subject matter at hand, the movie is not an upper & definately not a date movie. But it is a great film.

A few thoughts while contemplating Hans Oersted and Electromagnetism

So before we get on to the most anticipated blog of the week…I need to tie some loose-ends from the past week…thanks to Train for pointing out these topics out last night…in bed…haha……all kidding aside though…we sleep in separate beds…

“Sometimes there's a man…sometimes there's a man, well, he's the man for his time'n place, he fits right in there”

Today the lodge would like to honor two men that we’re “the man for their time’n place” the late *Sir(the lodge is granting knighthood, more on this later) Georgie Best & Mr. Arnold “Pat Morita” Miyagi

First, a few things about Mr. George Best for those who are unfamilar with his life and career:

* made 466 appearences for ManU including 178 goals before getting fired at 27 for excessive drinking and failure to attend practice and sometimes matches-which begs the questions, how much booze need apply when the term "excessive drinker" is given to an Irishman...I'm getting the spins just thinking about this

*Pele has said that Best was the best footballer he's ever seen...sort of like Rex Grossman saying that Kyle Orton is unmatched at his position, but not really

*1968 European & British Footballer of the year

Now on to why he receives the first ever honorary Knighthood from the Lodge: the quotes:

*"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars - the rest I just squandered."

*(On David Beckham) "He cannot kick with his left foot, he cannot head a ball, he cannot tackle and he doesn't score many goals. Apart from that he's alright."

*"In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life."

*(On the blood transfusion after his liver transplant) "I was in for 10 hours and had 40 pints - beating my previous record by 20 minutes."

Here's to you Sir Best, may the pitch be green, the pints bottomless and legs that go all the way up wherever you finished up.

Second, a few thoughts on the distinguished career of Miyagi-san himself Noriyuki "Pat" Morita:

*Career full of highlights including beginning work on M*A*S*H as a Korean Captain Sam Pak

*unforgettable and Emmy snided for his work on Happy Days as Matsumoto "Arnold" Takahashi

*Left Happy Days for Mr. T and Tina , the now legendary sitcom

*Recently seen in the Alien Ant Farm video: "Movies", and was once again snided for VMA for his supporting work

*Fought Victor Wong in the early 80's for Wise-crazy-eyed grandpa title, but eventually withdrawing to go back to "Happy Days"

Now comes the Dick Vermeil section: ..."these players....man....", I'd personally like to thank Miyagi-san for his portrayal in all 4 KK's, yes I do acknowledge the fourth, unlike certain writers with ESPN Page 2. The foundation to many of my spiritual roots are primarily based on the Art of War and the original Karate Kid, I too was a kid on the outside of kool, I too lived in a run down apartment complex, I too was madly in love with Elisabeth Shue. I don't like to imagine a world were I grew up without the moral teachings of Miyagi-san, who knows where I would've turned, most likely to the teachings of Rev. Falwell. So here is my(...wait...man, getting really dusting in here...these players...god...) tribute to one of the finest instructors on life the world has ever known.

Bonus: for an excellent take from a writer who doesn't acknowledge KK IV, please check this out.
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--Now on to some Lost theories inspired by last nights episode, (if your not watching this show right now I really don't know what to say)

Found a really plausible theory behind the show here which at 715 this morning really blew me away....there is a ton of sites out there to wet your curiosity, but I recommend this/ as one of the better ones...I won't spend a lot of time discussing this unless the people call for it, but I would like to get some comments going for all those who watch...and who doesn't like to watch

--I'd also like to get some picks for this upcoming weekend: tell me if you like the favorite or the upset in the following games:

1) Buffs vs. Horns(-27) Big 12 Champ. o/u =60.5

2) Army vs. Navy(-6) o/u=50.5

3) Victory Bell USC(-21) o/u=74

4) LSU(-1.5) vs. UGA SEC Champ. o/u=40

5) WVU(-9) vs. S. Florida (how depressing is the fact that the Big East gets a BCS-side discussion) Big East Champ.o/u=44

6) FSU vs. VaTech(-14) ACC Champ. o/u=45

And Finally what makes Thursday's livable, your moment of Zen: