Gooses movie weekend Pt 2
Ok.
So I went to see Firewall with Harrison ford over the weeked.
On a scale of 1-10...I give it a 4. not Very Good. I went home wondering why I disliked it so much.
Lets start with the plot.
Harrison Ford is an IT manager for a Seattle Bank. His Family is kidnapped and he is forced to hack into the banks system to steal 100 million dollars. (Insert Dr Evil voice Here)
1st of all lets look at the Villian
Paul Bettany plays the head of the kidnappers. Make a note here people. This is what Anthony Michael Hall will look like in 10 years.
All throughout the movie Im thinking. This isnnt a viscious killer, Its Farmer Ted from 16 Candles.
Ironically I went home and Air force One was on showtime. Watching this movie allowed me to conclude why I disliked Firewall.
In Airforce One. Harrison Ford kicks ass 95% of the movie. He is a stud. The hero.
They only time his turns into a whimpering idiot is when Gary Oldham has a gun to his Daughters Head. He crys and gives in like any father would do.
In Firewall it is the exact opposite. He whimpers and whines through 95% of the movie and only kicks ass in 5%. I really didnt like how little a hero he was. It annoyed me. This is Harrison Frickin Ford. Indiana Jones. The "Get off of my Plane" President.
Plot was ok. it was based in Seattle so you get that hometown feel.
Lets go over Gooses Movie scale so that you can understand my rating system based upon how much you pay
1- Viscous Pile of Hurl. Used to induce vommiting if poisons are ingested.
2- $2 Clearance DVD Rack at Wal Mart. Give it as a gift to someone you dont like.
3- UPN Quality. Catch it on UPN or the WB on a nice Sunday Afternoon
4- Basic Cable Quality. TBS or TNT will show a nice edited version and show it multiple times over a weekend.
5- HBO or Premium channel Quality. Watch at home on HBO or SkinaMax. Not woth the movie ticket
6- Slightly Above average. Matinee Film. $5 tops. Dont pay full price but at least worthy to see on the big screen.
7- Good Film. Could be worth the $9 if you are on a Date and maybe can salvage the night by petting the kitty kat afterwards
8- Excellent Film. Good from beginning to end and worth the $9 to see once (Maybe twice)
9- Blockbuster. Must see in the theater on the big Screen. Worth Multiple trips and worth the $9.
10- All time Great. Should go down in history as one of the greated cinematic films I have ever seen. Pay the 9 bucks multiple times and buy the DVD when it is first released
here are some examples on the Goose Scale
1 Cool World, Harry and the Hendersons
2 Serenity
3 Cannonball Run
4 Young Guns 2
5 Independence Day
6 Tombstone
7 In the Line of fire/Con Air
8 Shawshank Redemption
9 Few Good Men
10 Star Wars/Platoon
posted by Goose at 12:50 PM
10 Comments:
The example of the Goose scale explains so much to me now.
I will never lose any more sleep over the lodges occasional inexplicable thoughts on certain movies.
All is well in the universe.
Actually Jayne I did that just to get your panties in a knot. Im funny that way
Mission Accomplished Soldier.
Just one more thing
Con Air? Really?
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Whats wrong with Con Air?
I wonder if the Serenity at #2 has anything to do w/ the said Panties in said bunch...and seriously can Ford just stop making movies really?...its turning into E. Smith on the Cardinals for me...Ford should ask himself this question....If I wouldn't have done this film 10 years ago...why do it now?...I really don't want to make the post titled: "the worst 10 years of a HOF Actor's/ Actresses Career" #1 Harrison Ford 1996-2006...but I think I might
Con Air was entertaining. Of course, I've never seen it more than once. Classic Cage, though. And I remember being really creeped out about every Steve Buscemi scene in the film. But the Con Air comment brings me to a topic I'd like to bring up...
TP, you are hyper critical of everybody elses ribbing in the Lodge. Three things come to mind... 1) You are a wuss. [Completely understandable since your favorite movie in recent memory is Serenity] 2) You never had brothers and/or close male companions who you've been able to shoot the sh!t with over anything but Mom's [I mean, you never defend yourself to anyone's ribbing and Train's had to defend you, "Oh, he just doesn't understand you guys" and crap. Man up.] either that... or, 3) You are a movie snob who's been working on a script and thinks her opinion is always the right one...
So I'm leaning towards the latter as the girl [Girl? Well, you still have a screen name as "Jayne", friend] who's "script he's been working on" like Brian from the Family Guy. TP, you are so Brian.
Its funny that Joe refers to Jayne as a she. Kind of like Terry Glenn and Bill Parcells
Joe.
1. You're a Douche
2. I don't care what the f**k you call me, there's no way in hell that Con Air worthy of a 7.
3. Truth be told, I want to be just like you, Joe. "I figure all I need is a Lobotomy and some tights."
get 'em ...get 'em Bobby get 'em...this is the scene that should've happened in 4 brothers...and if it really matters: I'm w/ you MCP, Con Air along with any Nic Cage movie never deserves to be over a 4 maximum (save Raising AZ of course)(Leaving LV is down there too, just because I couldn't watch it more than once)...
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