Part Two: The Corleone Formula and the M.O.R.A.N.'s

I don’t know if anyone remembers a piece from an old Sports Guy article a couple of years ago when he was talking with his step dad about the age old debate: Pacino vs. DeNiro. Well, if you don’t, he used a grand theory that I think has a 93% success rate when analyzing who is the better actor. In this case, SG broke down all the roles that Pacino could not possibly play that Bobby D. had, but the truth came when you look at whether Bobby D. could take on the Pacino roles.

With the exception of Scarface and maybe Dog Day Afternoon, you sub in DeNiro and you get a similar if not better performance. There are many intangibles or formula’s you could use, but that’s not the point of this post. My point is to utilize social identity theory along with the ultimate Pacino vs. DeNiro debate to understand the members of the Lodge and hopefully anyone that's contributed to the over 5,000 hits (thanks for checking us out Mom) we've gotten in two months (groupie where are you? You’re missed).

In the Social Identity Theory, a person has not one, “personal self”, but rather several selves that correspond to widening circles of group membership. Different social contexts may trigger an individual to think, feel and act on basis of his personal, family or national “level of self” In other words, it is an individual-based perception of what defines the “us” associated with any internalized group membership. Great, but what the hell does this have to do with the f’n Lodge? Well, nothing, but it does offer a way to test a social experiment that I've thought of for several years. It started as a matter of fact conversation, but it ended with my thinking that nothing says more about someone than when they chime in about two actors that represent both sides of the action spectrum, but are arguable indistinguishable from each other.

So I’m introducing a new/old formula derived from the SG’s work and based on the Pacino/DeNiro debate and since they shared the same screen on two movies (Godfather II & Heat) with the latter being the lesser film, I’m going to deem this measuring criteria: the Corleone Formula.



Without any more delay That-Guy Wednesday Present:

Vin (The) Diesel

vs.


The Rock

Tale of the Tape:

Vin Diesel (born as: Frank Vincent 07.18.67 6’1) 1st acting credit: Awakenings (uncredited orderly)

Actual quotes:

* "Well, I've worked out for years. For a long time it was my only sense of gratification." &

"In the next film, Riddick is going to go to the underverse. Riddick will act with new elementals. Not air elementals [as Judi Dench's character is] but fire and water. It'll come full circle in C3 when he must return to Furia".

Le Rock aka “The People’s Champion”, “The Brahma Bull”, “The Great One” (born as: Dwayne Johnson 05.02.72 6’4”) 1st acting credit: (sans WWE): That 70’s Show: That Wrestling Show as Rocky Johnson

Actual quotes:

* "Finally...The Rock...has come back to (whatever city he's in at the time-or ala The Lodge)" &
"The Rock will take you down Know Your Role Boulevard which is on the corner of Jabroni Drive and check you directly into the Smackdown Hotel!"

So we’re going to need to break this thing down with an advanced scoring system utilizing not solely by the Corleone Formula, but also the UTC and best on-screen hookup scale to determine a quantifiable winner:

First, the UTC Scale, another SG rip-off (the Lodge is a big fan), aka the unintentional comedy scale. e.g. Mike Tyson rates a perfect 100, while most guys from the Pro Poker Circuit rate in negative numbers. We will use a modified scoring system of 10 based on what I believe to be the highest UTC movie from both actors:

“And how is it you see this? I thought you lost your powers when you...”
The Rock in “The Scorpion King”…Points go for first leading role from former collegiate middle linebacker…but, they kept the reigns on him during this film, but not before he got in his UTC points, although not as high as they could’ve been: (Perhaps the Rock’s understanding of the entertainment world really hurts him here) He also got more for costume and effects, which can’t win you the UTC crown, but can definitely place you in the driver’s seat. Solid UTC performance here, brining like only the People’s Champion can. Score=8

“I live my life a quarter mile at a time. Nothing else matters: not the mortgage, not the store, not my team and all their bullshit. For those ten seconds or less, I'm free.”
The Diesel in F&F…no real surprise here from anyone who knows me, but coming from a film with a perfect 10 in the combination of not only UTC writing, but UTC acting along with a movie that scored an ultimate 100 on the UTC movie-scale. I mention just one of The Diesel’s quotes, but to fully grasp the all-star UTC performance you have to watch from beginning to end. The only downside to his performance is that he didn’t even give the best UTC performance in the movie. The always classic Paul Walker outshined at every opportunity created a frantic race down to the very last scene, with Walker pulling down the UTC gold. The audience to come to find out with F&F 2 that the on-screen duo of Walker & The Diesel would go down as one of the greatest, along with Newman & Redford. Score=9.75

The On-Screen Hookup Scale, this is a new criteria that I’m trying out, based on the level of tail that our actors hooked up with on screen. The purpose is to prove their masculine qualifications as leading men and kings of action in the bedroom and out. So we judge the popularity of the actress and the relative level of hotness she brings.

The Rock in the Rundown…It’s been a while since I’ve seen this and I can’t even remember if there’s a hook up or not, but I remember Rosario Dawson. Her stock has been rising as of late and at the time had the underrated hotness factor, along with semi-credible acting chops to go along with the package. Going on the assumption that there was a hookup, this gives The Rock a solid score and keeping him consistent, even if it didn’t really happen on screen. Score=8

Diesel in xXx…So many ladies, so many x’s. The Diesel loses a few points on the popularity aspect of the OSHS for hooking up with the quietly seductive Asia Argento in xXx. She grabs a relatively good rating for working the foreign accent and bringing it as an Eastern-Bloc-er even though she’s Italian, but ultimately loses points for lack of notoriety. Score=7

And now to the Corleone Formula:

In the series of films for The Rock: Doom, Walking Tall and Scorpion King where The Rock works the lead you can’t really argue that he’s bringing something that The Diesel can’t autograph for himself or turned down for his Riddick Trilogy. What really hurts here is The Diesel’s higher per-average UTC score in any role that he working. Recently, both have turned to comedy to shown their wide scope of acting and I can say in Be Cool that I’m not sure that The Diesel could’ve brought what Le Rock did. (and yes I saw Be Cool, it was an airplane movie, don’t give me any sh*t for it) Score=Fredo

In the series of films for The Diesel: xXx, Pitch Black, F&F, Chron. of R, The Pacifier & A Man Apart you’ll have a hard time raising the UTC bar as mentioned previously, but you get shorter lines and better facial expressions when subbing in The Rock. Bonus points for The Diesel in Pitch Black, A Man Apart and The Pacifier for his works with kids and Larenz Tate. This is hypothetically closer in real life than it looks on paper, but I think The Diesel edges out in the Corleone Formula, based on more film experience and ability to deliver longer ridiculous monologues than The Rock at this point in his career, (this could be altered in the upcoming years). Score=Sonny

Closure:
So we have 16 points and a Fredo for The People's Champion, while The Diesel rides in barely on top with 16.75 and a Sonny. The Diesel is awarded the Lodge’s first ever: Most Outrageously Ridiculous Action Name or M.O.R.A.N thanks to the help of top studies done in the three major scoring categories. It’s obvious that my social identity lies somewhere between ridiculous sci-fi and slow-motion shots of a muscle car avoiding an on-coming train. That’s not to say a Babylonian King that arises to rule isn’t my thing, I just side on the other side of the fence. I do believe, like the universe these two actors may no longer be expanding away from each other, but instead retracting and perhaps setting up the most ultimate force in the world: a double-billing. Not since the earth witnessed Alien vs. Predator, could we have the type of film that would make the people rise up and call for the winner of the climatic battle to rule the universe? I’m left following this analysis that that is the only hope that man has for redemption from his sins. My social identity is with the man from Furia, where’s yours?