Sunday, May 06, 2007

Day Six and Seven and a half: Daytime Boat Adventure!!!

It’s been a little while, but here we go again with everyone’s favorite travel diary. When we last left our story, our hero was burnt out from work and looking forward to a change in routine. To utilize my second quote from Apocalypse Now:

“Everyone gets everything he wants. I wanted a change, and for my sins, they gave me one. Brought it up to me like room service. It was a real choice change, and when it was over, I never wanted another.”

1045 UTC // 05.05.07 (May Day)

After getting an hour and a half sleep following Friday’s shift, I got up and proceeded to prep myself for the first daytime adventure. The typical communication with my drivers to this point has been as follows:

Me: “1030..1030am…4 hours…Gateway…Gateway of India…ok”
Driver: “Yeah Yeah…20 minutes…ok…”
Me: “20 minutes?”
Driver: “Just write down…20 minutes yes…”

For the first time I actually arrive down to the lobby before the driver, and thus beginning “the ride”. I only mention the time, because I had tentatively planned on meeting up with some people that I’m working with and in the midst of Mumbai traffic…punctuality is a bonus. So our drive begins by going the same direction as the call center (south) and ending up going a little longer than I had planned. After an hour the driver finally stops another cabbie where the Gateway of India is located, perhaps I had underestimated that this was common knowledge. I suppose it wasn’t the first cabbie that he asked, but the 4th and 5th ones that alarmed me a little.

Earlier in the week I also commented about the driving conditions and use of the horn, counting the number 10,000 for the entire 15 mile drive my first and subsequent drivers have used, well, yesterday I found the only driver in Mumbai that doesn’t believe in the church of horns. He also didn’t believe in driving over the speed of 35 km/h, and because of that…not once, but twice was he pulled over, in subsequent stop lights. I must say that I’ve never wanted to get out of the car, hand the police officer a couple of bills and say, “what is problem?” We finally arrived and following a 15 minute parallel parking incident similar to the first time I ever rode with Train, I was at the very same spot that King George V and Queen Mary saw when they first arrived in Bombay.

1310 UTC // 05.05.07

The scene walking up to the Gateway was nothing but pure madness, with offers ranging from giant balloons that resembled, well…. To roasted peanuts warmed with hand burners using street trash to overpriced post cards…who uses post cards anymore when you have the Lodge and a digital camera?

Anyway, my driver followed me down until we met a very energetic middle-aged man who was looking to arrange my travel and settle parking with my driver. So 125 ($3)rp went for the ticket, while 100 rp went to my driver to hang out and grab a King Fisher, while I grab the slow boat to Elephanta Island.

After our business deal had ended my travel agent insisted once again that he would cut me a very nice deal on a set of Mumbai and Elephanta Island post cards...I believe his sales tactic went something like:..”you take to lady back home?” If you’re reading princess, I apologize, but your take from my trip will be minus a set of Mumbai post cards.

1330 UTC // 05.05.07


I board the boat after grabbing a liter of water for 15rp and an upper deck seat on the ferry for an extra 10rp. The latter of which was primarily based on the effervescent glow of my white skin, and the entrepreneurial spirit of my young boating agents, this pattern would continue.

While aboard the S.S. Junktboat, I had the opportunity to sit behind the captain as he steered us through the harbor to the magical world Elephanta Island. The captain seemed indifferent to me, but was pleased when two young ladies from outside of Mumbai began questioning him regarding the surrounding area and “New Mumbai”.

1430 UTC // 05.05.07

We exit the S.S. and the moment my foot touches the planks of the deck, I have a new best friend, NBF, for the next two hours, who will guide me and explain all of the things that kid from the 935 never thought he’d see. After the two hour car-ride and lack of lively conversation with my driver I decide that I’ll oblige in the tourist trap and have the guy do his thing and I’ll enjoy the trip.

As we walk up the dock I am instructed to give NBF 255rp in order to secure my entrance to the caves and the many magical wonders that wait in store. I assume for a moment that there is a very real possibility that I might have lost the 255rp due to the speed that NBF is walking. But everything turns out to be ok, because NBF apparently has a good relationship with the entrance agents, and gets me through without have to pay them….ahhh…third world capitalism.

On our way up these ladies thought it was necessary for me to photograph them with water on their heads…go ahead and look…get a good look…the photo cost me 50rp.

We begin with Cave One, which contains many different sculptures of various Indian Gods and their story. The sculpting is impressive however there have been modern touches added that remove a lot of the ancient old-world charm. I continue through the first cave room, throwing a dime into the wishing well, (apparently malls do not have a copyright on this) then proceeding outside to the world of the monkeys.

The monkeys were similar, a little larger, to the bad dates monkey, but since I didn’t see any motorized vehicles or a gentleman with an eye patch I figured they were friendly. They turn out to be a nuisance to the agriculture on the island and raid the food droppings of children. This is much the same criticism Cash Dollar receives.

We continue on until we reach the top of the small, but large hill for Southeastern India, where I see two canon turrets for former British artillery. I ask NBF what the opinion of the British are by the locals, to which he replies, they are a little pushy. I’m not sure if he was speaking in past perfect or present perfect with reference to British presence and occupation. We conclude by climbing down the mountain and entering a watering hole to discuss cricket, football and Shevchenko.

1530 UCT // 05.05.07

We sit down next to two extremely white gentlemen like myself who are enjoying the 8% Strong King Fisher and speaking in….hmmm….yes…that’s it….Russian!!! They immediately recognize NBF and throw up awkward high-fives (or something similar) and discuss how well they’re doing…good on both accounts. As they were leaving one of the Russian begins speaking with me and I find out the following: a) he’s from St. Petersburg, but works in Mumbai b) his daughter lives in Long Island and is a dentist. He was shocked that I had not met her and informed him that I would look her up once I get back to the states.

NBF orders us two regular King Fishers and we sit and for a moment I believe we are going to enjoy a genuine moment, especially after he tells me that he once swam from Elphanta Island to Mumbai (11km, 6mi), but then we discuss his services and having only pulled out 1000rp earlier in the week knew that this might be an issue after what I had already dropped today.

We conclude that since I was short we could head to a vendor and get money from him, there’s nowhere ATM’s won’t go. This however, was an old world ATM, requiring the store owner to call in the order and do the manual swipe. The first time he tried to call the line was down and was unable to make a connection, but “would you like to look at something special?”…To which I replied…”not really.” However I knew that I would have to purchase something in order to get myself out of this predicament, and I grew tired of NBF and was quickly looking for no-NBFs.

I ended up with this little number, which cost way too much along with how much I paid the guy and in the order of not divulging my expense report online, I’m not able to tell you what the final amount was spent at this remote island ATM. However I do believe this will make a nice addition to the Lodge.

I parted ways with NBF, hoping that his knee gets better and that he continues to work on his bowling (the pitching aspect of Cricket). I also informed him that he was one of the best capitalist that I had ever met, (I believe he might have taken offense to this). I finally met up with my co-workers and we enjoyed the blaring sounds of Indian Radio as we headed back on the new S.S. Junkit.

1630 UCT // 05.05.07

When I arrived back at the Gateway I was not ready for the speed of the Mumbai capitalists and I try to communicate to my driver that it is time for use to return back. In the back of my mind I know that the Manchester Derby starts in a half hour and I really just wanted to find the George and Dragon East and enjoy the next two hour watching footy. This, unfortunately is not what happens. We spend another two hours driving back to the hotel with the driver only asking once how to get there and then finally explaining that his license was going to be removed because of the ticket earlier. I believe might have been asking me for assistance, but at that point I was done with the third world speed and ready for a good Felix and the final minutes of the Derby.

1835 UCT // 05.05.07

I get to the hotel and catch Van der Saar put the finishing touches on the Premiership title with a lucky/brilliant kick save of Darius Vassell’s PK. This was followed moments later by a very awkward jump and embrace performance by Sir Alex and the rest of the coaches. I order some very mediocre room service and I’m done before the 10th minute of the Fulham/Liverpool match.

So here I am today, re-gathering my thoughts from yesterday, listening to SModcast 8, getting ready for a little treadmill action and not leaving the hotel. I need a day break from the speed of Mumbai; perhaps I should give NBF a call and see what he thinks I should do? Wait, they only have power from 7pm-1030pm. Maybe later then.

Sorry for length, but it’s Sunday and it's two days for the price of one.

Recommendations:


TV:

ESPN SouthAsia…really, really, really good coverage of the EPL….three live games in a row on Saturday night beginning at 5pm, meanwhile the other channel had corresponding games at 7 and 9. Five game all in all, with post and pre match commentary.

Movies:

I get a bastardized watered-down version of HBO (kind of like Cinemax) here that actually shows 90 seconds of commercials, not good, but I also get another channel that does edit there movies, but instead of commercials they show 30-45 seconds of upcoming movie clips and movies that I never knew where even shown on TV anywhere:
i.e. Electra Glide in Blue, 8 Million Ways to Die (w/ a mock-pony-tailed Andy Garcia) Borderline
Ever seen these films? Yeah…neither have I…anyway…if you’re going to break up a film, it’s a good way to do it…that’s how they got me into Cruel Intentions.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Unknown said...

What did I tell you about the EPL in India. They love it out there...

Not sure that 50rp was well spent for the photo... but carpe diem, eh?

Did you learn anything more about cricket from the Brit?

Jimbo, did you see the "Watch" feature on the Netflix site yet? Gives you a few more flicks to watch while you are overseas.

Sun May 06, 09:02:00 PM PDT  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you make it to the treadmill? I love it, I love you. You need to call me. I miss you, please call when you get a moment.

Sun May 06, 10:30:00 PM PDT  
Blogger Jimbo said...

I'm steadily learning more and more about cricket and hope to fully understand it by the time I get back..only to never watch it...I'm still a little pissed about getting the worst cab driver in India on Saturday...I was looking forward to finding a throwback British Pub...maybe next weekend...

and carpe diem is correct...

Thanks for the head's up on "Watch Now", but it doesn't look like that's rolling out until after I get back...

and yes I did an hour on the treadmill followed by a double Jameson and some indoor smoking...good times for a Sunday...I'm ready to get back to work...

Sun May 06, 11:57:00 PM PDT  

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