"Daddy gets down here and sees this f'n parking lot...he's gonna be f'n pissed"
Since the Lodge is in the midst of a Championship Hangover and not ready to build the hype machine for XL, I figured it’d be a good time to do a mid-week recap…and in memory of one of the best character actors in the biz for the past 25 years…we even brought in quotes (they’ll be no explanation for the films given)
“Listen up, ladies. Brian Riley is going to USC, m’f-ers!... All I have to do is maintain my fantastic 2.0 grade-point average, and everything is cool…”
To Steve Schilling who announced he would NOT be attended South Compton next year…and one of the first signs that Rome is beginning to fall…after the entire O-line decided to make the jump since the Rose Bowl and the state of Washington’s best O-Lineman is NOT going to the best semi-pro team in NCAA, amazing, however this could turn bad if he chooses Cal, but my hope is that it’ll come down to Big Blue or Montlake…and yeah, no one cares…next quote please
“You like Men At Work?.. what men?... Men at work…well where do they work?... No, they're a music group…well what do they call themselves?... Oh no! What about the Police?... What about 'em?... You ever heard them?... No, but I seen them….Where, in concert?... No, behind you.”
To the Hawks and the first hype talk…something just feels right about a Head Coach making his 3rd trip to the Bowl and knowing what kind of preparation it takes to get the job done…take care of practice this week, and don’t overload the guys next week, seems obvious enough, I just don’t know why it hasn’t been followed…and I definitely feel better about Holmgren on our side and Cowher on their’s…like MCP often states…I don’t know why, I just do
“You know what it is, you've got an attitude problem…Oh I've got an attitude problem?... Yes and I'm not the first one that's noticed it. I mean we're not stuck in the goddamn middle ages here. I mean we've got TV. We've got Family Feud. We're not stuck in Leave It To Beaver land here…Well I haven't noticed a wet T-shirt contest in town yet…Yeah but I'm waiting. Patiently.”
Sort of stuck on this quote…so I’ll give this one to Chris Rogers, Ron Artest and Micah Downs, and if you don’t know two out of those three names, than you probably don’t know who Steve Lavine is either or what his favorite hair care product are…but for the sake of interest we’ll talk about Artest, who apparently wasn’t satisfied with being the 2nd most overrated story in sports this year and had to elevate his status by rejecting a trade to a perfect team/scenario…does he not elevate the Kings to the top 5 of the West once he’s on board…is he not seen as a new favorite?...does it not get him closer to Death Row Records?...does it not finally rid the Kings of the most overrated player in the league?
(here’s a collection of quotes that don’t necessarily flow together, but bring it none-the-less) “You shouldn't block with your face….Hey you don't eat that raw fish s*** do you?... Yeah! Drop him like a toilet seat, Tommy!”
To KJR for dropping the Supes for the not even moderately conservative 770AM,(if the anti-christ has risen and getting ready to make his formal introduction I have no doubt that it will be heard there first, followed by FOX NEWS, probably simulcasts)…Supes are beginning to seem like a really desperate girlfriend, between the flirtation with Bellevue for a new arena to the jilted feeling of coverage from KJR,( who apparently has chosen to become the home of the Huskies for many years to come…good call boys)…I just hope that they find happiness somewhere between Rush’s “medication” and O’Reilly’s office game of grab ass, and yes Bill, the term "Christmas” is vastly overrated…
“Call me an ambulance. Somebody, call me an ambulance…Shut up…F’ you, I'm bleeding…I'll call you a hearst... this is for Cody.”
Love this line…because I can’t think of anything else…here’s to the rest of Jake Plummer’s career…barring a major turn of events…I think it plays out a bit like Kosar, w/ Jake finally ending up on SB team, at this point it could very well be Cleveland with Parity, only to hold the clipboard while Brady Quinn brings home the Lombardi for the good people on Lake Erie…and in other Bronco news, apparently Bronco Fans across the country were simultaneously experiencing vaginal pains following Sunday's game, especially the younger generation..."take your medicine son"
“Did you see that daddy? Guy got me on the ground and he tried to f’ me…You wish…Listen Vic, I don't mind what you do, but don't try to f’ me in my father's office, I don't think of you that way. I like you a lot man, but I don't think of you that way…Eddie, if I was a butt cowboy, I wouldn't even throw you to the posse…Of course not, you'd keep me for yourself, you sick bastard. Four years of f’n' punks up the ass you'd appreciate a piece of prime rib when you see one.”
We’re on to the main course with quotes now boys…seriously to the Brokeback phenomenon taking the nation…STOP…for the love of humanity…we get it…Hollywood is progressive, not all of mainstream America is…that’s ok…move on…is Lee really making Hulk 2?
“If you f’n beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it f’n so!”
Ok, I couldn’t resist…to the most over-hyped story I think I’ve ever read/seen/had to sit on the toilet because of illness…to the NBA, ESPN and any other media outlet that thinks if they say how great Kobe is for scoring 81, it will someone make us forget that he is
a) an adultery/rapists, who barely escaped conviction, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, he sure showed his innocence by the 1 million, “I’m f’d” ring for his wife
b) the most egoistic/selfish teammate in not only the history of the NBA, but I’m going to put it out there, the history of professional sports…there
c) devoid of any human emotion other than scripted PR moves (Tiger/Arod Syndrome)
d) Did I mention he is the worst teammate in the history of sports? And this includes Ty Cobb
Give me 20 assists or 30 rebounds as a greater milestone on a given night than 81 point on (28-46) shooting, against a 14-28 Toronto squad…I don’t know how much more Lamar Odom can take before he takes his ball and his bong to the backseat of the H2
“The chick got tired of him beatin' her so one night she walks in the guys bedroom and super glues his dick to his belly. Ambulance came and had to cut the prick loose…That ain't all that bad….Oh yeah? How would you feel if every time you had to take a piss you had to do a hand stand?”
I can’t possibly tie this in with anything, so let’s just move on
“The man you just killed was just released from prison. He got caught at a company warehouse full of hot items. He could've f’n walked. All he had to do was say my dad's name, but he didn't; he kept his f’n mouth shut. And did his f’n' time, and he did it like a man. He did four years for us. So, Mr. Orange, you're tellin' me this very good friend of mine, who did four years for my father, who in four years never made a deal, no matter what they dangled in front of him, you're telling me that now, that now this man is free, and we're making good on our commitment to him, he's just gonna decide, out of the f’n blue, to rip us off? Why don't you tell me what really happened?”
Finally, to Mr. Chris Penn, who always brought his own unique element to each film he was apart of, especially the ones highlighted in this post. You weren’t the same actor as your brother or songwriter as your other brother, but you brought a C level performance to everything you did, and no one could’ve played the Nice Guy Eddie role quite like you…nobody. The Lodge is flying the flag at half-staff for you today buddy, you would’ve been a prominent minor character in the “Black Lodge's” first feature film. Maybe Quentin has some left over footage we could use.
“Listen up, ladies. Brian Riley is going to USC, m’f-ers!... All I have to do is maintain my fantastic 2.0 grade-point average, and everything is cool…”
To Steve Schilling who announced he would NOT be attended South Compton next year…and one of the first signs that Rome is beginning to fall…after the entire O-line decided to make the jump since the Rose Bowl and the state of Washington’s best O-Lineman is NOT going to the best semi-pro team in NCAA, amazing, however this could turn bad if he chooses Cal, but my hope is that it’ll come down to Big Blue or Montlake…and yeah, no one cares…next quote please
“You like Men At Work?.. what men?... Men at work…well where do they work?... No, they're a music group…well what do they call themselves?... Oh no! What about the Police?... What about 'em?... You ever heard them?... No, but I seen them….Where, in concert?... No, behind you.”
To the Hawks and the first hype talk…something just feels right about a Head Coach making his 3rd trip to the Bowl and knowing what kind of preparation it takes to get the job done…take care of practice this week, and don’t overload the guys next week, seems obvious enough, I just don’t know why it hasn’t been followed…and I definitely feel better about Holmgren on our side and Cowher on their’s…like MCP often states…I don’t know why, I just do
“You know what it is, you've got an attitude problem…Oh I've got an attitude problem?... Yes and I'm not the first one that's noticed it. I mean we're not stuck in the goddamn middle ages here. I mean we've got TV. We've got Family Feud. We're not stuck in Leave It To Beaver land here…Well I haven't noticed a wet T-shirt contest in town yet…Yeah but I'm waiting. Patiently.”
Sort of stuck on this quote…so I’ll give this one to Chris Rogers, Ron Artest and Micah Downs, and if you don’t know two out of those three names, than you probably don’t know who Steve Lavine is either or what his favorite hair care product are…but for the sake of interest we’ll talk about Artest, who apparently wasn’t satisfied with being the 2nd most overrated story in sports this year and had to elevate his status by rejecting a trade to a perfect team/scenario…does he not elevate the Kings to the top 5 of the West once he’s on board…is he not seen as a new favorite?...does it not get him closer to Death Row Records?...does it not finally rid the Kings of the most overrated player in the league?(here’s a collection of quotes that don’t necessarily flow together, but bring it none-the-less) “You shouldn't block with your face….Hey you don't eat that raw fish s*** do you?... Yeah! Drop him like a toilet seat, Tommy!”
To KJR for dropping the Supes for the not even moderately conservative 770AM,(if the anti-christ has risen and getting ready to make his formal introduction I have no doubt that it will be heard there first, followed by FOX NEWS, probably simulcasts)…Supes are beginning to seem like a really desperate girlfriend, between the flirtation with Bellevue for a new arena to the jilted feeling of coverage from KJR,( who apparently has chosen to become the home of the Huskies for many years to come…good call boys)…I just hope that they find happiness somewhere between Rush’s “medication” and O’Reilly’s office game of grab ass, and yes Bill, the term "Christmas” is vastly overrated…
“Call me an ambulance. Somebody, call me an ambulance…Shut up…F’ you, I'm bleeding…I'll call you a hearst... this is for Cody.”
Love this line…because I can’t think of anything else…here’s to the rest of Jake Plummer’s career…barring a major turn of events…I think it plays out a bit like Kosar, w/ Jake finally ending up on SB team, at this point it could very well be Cleveland with Parity, only to hold the clipboard while Brady Quinn brings home the Lombardi for the good people on Lake Erie…and in other Bronco news, apparently Bronco Fans across the country were simultaneously experiencing vaginal pains following Sunday's game, especially the younger generation..."take your medicine son"
“Did you see that daddy? Guy got me on the ground and he tried to f’ me…You wish…Listen Vic, I don't mind what you do, but don't try to f’ me in my father's office, I don't think of you that way. I like you a lot man, but I don't think of you that way…Eddie, if I was a butt cowboy, I wouldn't even throw you to the posse…Of course not, you'd keep me for yourself, you sick bastard. Four years of f’n' punks up the ass you'd appreciate a piece of prime rib when you see one.”
We’re on to the main course with quotes now boys…seriously to the Brokeback phenomenon taking the nation…STOP…for the love of humanity…we get it…Hollywood is progressive, not all of mainstream America is…that’s ok…move on…is Lee really making Hulk 2?
“If you f’n beat this prick long enough, he'll tell you he started the goddamn Chicago fire, now that don't necessarily make it f’n so!”
Ok, I couldn’t resist…to the most over-hyped story I think I’ve ever read/seen/had to sit on the toilet because of illness…to the NBA, ESPN and any other media outlet that thinks if they say how great Kobe is for scoring 81, it will someone make us forget that he isa) an adultery/rapists, who barely escaped conviction, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, he sure showed his innocence by the 1 million, “I’m f’d” ring for his wife
b) the most egoistic/selfish teammate in not only the history of the NBA, but I’m going to put it out there, the history of professional sports…there
c) devoid of any human emotion other than scripted PR moves (Tiger/Arod Syndrome)
d) Did I mention he is the worst teammate in the history of sports? And this includes Ty Cobb
Give me 20 assists or 30 rebounds as a greater milestone on a given night than 81 point on (28-46) shooting, against a 14-28 Toronto squad…I don’t know how much more Lamar Odom can take before he takes his ball and his bong to the backseat of the H2
“The chick got tired of him beatin' her so one night she walks in the guys bedroom and super glues his dick to his belly. Ambulance came and had to cut the prick loose…That ain't all that bad….Oh yeah? How would you feel if every time you had to take a piss you had to do a hand stand?”
I can’t possibly tie this in with anything, so let’s just move on
“The man you just killed was just released from prison. He got caught at a company warehouse full of hot items. He could've f’n walked. All he had to do was say my dad's name, but he didn't; he kept his f’n mouth shut. And did his f’n' time, and he did it like a man. He did four years for us. So, Mr. Orange, you're tellin' me this very good friend of mine, who did four years for my father, who in four years never made a deal, no matter what they dangled in front of him, you're telling me that now, that now this man is free, and we're making good on our commitment to him, he's just gonna decide, out of the f’n blue, to rip us off? Why don't you tell me what really happened?”
Finally, to Mr. Chris Penn, who always brought his own unique element to each film he was apart of, especially the ones highlighted in this post. You weren’t the same actor as your brother or songwriter as your other brother, but you brought a C level performance to everything you did, and no one could’ve played the Nice Guy Eddie role quite like you…nobody. The Lodge is flying the flag at half-staff for you today buddy, you would’ve been a prominent minor character in the “Black Lodge's” first feature film. Maybe Quentin has some left over footage we could use.
posted by Jimbo at 1:15 PM
7 Comments:
Kobe is an amazing scorer. But he's a prick. I don't even want to write about him because he really is a prick. I'm not sure that he could be really just misunderstood, as an extremely talented eccentric suburban athlete, but let's just stop talking about him until he stops sounding like A-fraud.
As far as Mr. Artest, again I'm disappointed that the Sonics didn't step up and offer Vladdy, Fortson & Flip for him (the salary's do match up for those 3). Peja is a great fit for the Pacers though. So if the trade finally goes through, I do believe there is a power shift in the East. Of course, if Shaq is healthy come playoff time than the Heat will be in the Finals and all of this talk is moot.
I like the word moot...
to get to my point...first of all I don't think Kobe will change because of all the reasons Jimbo mentioned in his post, plus he has already tasted championship gold, so there isn't that much motivation to be a team player. So don't be surprised to see more 60 and 70 point games. When are Lamar and Luke Walton, and Smoosh...goin' to get out of LA? (I only mention these three because other than Kobe, I don't know any others)
As for Artest, I guess the trade came through, it eliminates one headcase from SacTown but adds another. I do think this could save Adleman's job for at least til the end of the year.
As for the Hawks, I can't say enough, I'm still ridin' the high from Sunday's game and enjoyin' the time in the spotlight. You got to love how every reporter with the exception of the Pittsburgh area has to talk about the Hawks in some capacity. Even when they were in the NFC championship, all the talk was on Carolina...so you got love this...and there is always a Matt Hasslebeck audio quote everyday on the radio.
As for KJR...I think they are stickin' with a winning program. And I love how today there is a confict, the Huskies will be on a different channel. Will FSN do the same with the Sonics? I'm also upset that there will be different commentators for when it's both TV and radio. How do you not have Calabro doin' play by play...it's above me...
Brian Cook, Chris Mihm, Kwame Brown... um, Michael Cooper, A.C. Green... the 40 Year Old Virgin is still playing right?
what's even more alarming than Kobe, is the apparent lobotomy from the Zen Master...reminds me of Gus Van Zant in Jay and Silent Bob Strike back during the filming of Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season..."not now Ben, I'm busy"...and if you got that reference, well...you're AWESOME...
I think Phil has done an amazing job with this team. I'm not sure how he's going to convince anybody to come play with Kobe. That being said, I think Kobe shooting 40 shots a game could well be the Zen Master's idea, knowing that besides Lamar Odom, there isn't a guy on the Lakers squad that would start for another team in the NBA. Something to think about at least.
"It's Hunting Season!"
>Blam<
"Apple Sauce, B*tch!"
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