"Exactly what are you a doctor of, Mr. Venkman?"

Like Chappelle coming back from South Africa and Axl’s “Chinese Democracy”, the people have spoken and anticipation has surrounded the return of “That-Guy” Wednesday." So I give to you good people, not more cowbell, but more menutia from the C Hollywood files. A refresher for those not privy to the greatest part of Wednesdays past:

1) It’s a head to head match up pinning two actors against each other for who will move on to the next round (whenever that will be)
2) your vote in the comments will decide the winner
3) just because they may or may not be Ninjas doesn’t mean that you don’t have to vote Train
4) Currently, JK Simmons, James Hong and Peter Stormare have all moved on to the round of 32 or whatever number.

Let’s get to it:

This week’s selection pits two veteran villains of small and big screen (I’m sensing a trend with the above winners) against each other:

Ladies and Gentlemen:

William “This man has no dick” Atherton vs. Clancy “Ramirez” Brown

Contestant #1:

Mr. William Atherton…6’1”…Let’s say that I was putting together a potential semi-action/semi-comedy film and I needed a guy to come in and play either the a) prick EPA agent or b) prick professor/self-absorbed intellectual…well the list would consist of one man and one man only. Atherton has perfected the prick-adjective-before-the-role title to such an art that it’s going to be hard for the next generation of Hollywood C actors to try and match. Let’s run down his bio and perhaps some things you didn’t know about Walter Peck:

*filmed role in Ghostbusters and Real Genius back-to-back, which is the equivalent of Dean Cameron filming Summer School & Ski School back-to-back, that was a marvelous year for Atherton, the peak of his career

*took the role of Dick Thornburg in Die Hard 1&2 after ugly prick-blacklisting scandal in Hollywood

*1996, wanting to recapture the glory, signed on w/ Pauley Shore and Stephen Baldwin for the big screen adaptation of Michael Crichton best-seller “Bio-Dome” , were he channeled Prof. Jerry Hathaway from Real Genius into the role of Dr. Noah Faulkner, the hard-nosed scientific prick who really just wants to smoke weed

* has appeared in the following TV shows as either an educated or non-educated prick: Twilight Zone, The Equalizer, Tales from the Crypt, Murder She Wrote (you remember that episode Dude?), Nash Bridges, The Practice, The Outer Limits (wow, he could be the first Sci-Fi channel HOF-er along w/ Tony Michael Hall), Justice League*, Stargate, Boston Legal and finally Law and Order

*look for him in his next movie where he finally busts out of his typecast and plays Lyle Funion in National Lampoon's Totally Baked: A Potumentary

So let’s give some props to a man kept under the heavy hand of Hollywood for almost two decade’s because well, he’s great at what he does because no one else wants to do it.

Contestant #2:

Mr. Clancy Brown…6’3” (this is for 2.0, he likes to size guys up)…For those in the Lodge that have had the experience of watching film and TV with me for several years this pick comes as no surprise and I’m going to try my hardest to play this one objectively. Veteran…and I mean veteran of the big and small screens, he has the full that-guy package (yeah I said package)…the villain stare, the voice, the recognition, the willingness to play his role from Starship Troopers in a short lasted British TV series. Let’s go to the tape and see how this #1 seed backs up his pick:

*First role on film was from the EEEEEEEEEPIC!!!! Film and Lodge favorite “Bad Boys” as “Viking” Lofgren, the tough “king of Juvie until Sean Penn steps up, now they’re BFF’s”, classic film, classic role…this was Brown’s “Ep IV: New Hope” to the trilogy that is his That-Guy Career
*1986…a little film directed by Russell Mulcahy entitled: F’N HIGHLANDER…where as Victor Kruger/”The Kurgan” he uttered the immortal phrase: “RAMIREZ!!!”… oh and” Nuns. No sense of humor. “

*Moving up the role list for Mr. Brown is like walking behind in the path of Roosevelt, Stalin or Oliver North…Blue Steel, Revenge of the Nerds III, China Beach, Pet Cemetery II, Sonic the Hedgehog, and then we get take it to the next level :

*One-word: F'N Shawshank , as Cpt. Hadley, the hard-nosed CO, with the heart of gold and the baton of the LAPD…this role moved Mr. Brown from a 2-D street thug/immortal to a 3-D Feel good That-Guy that could cripple your rival inmate within 5 minutes…reprised this role also in Hurricane

*The rest of the filmography requires dedicated library time, except where he and Atherton cross-over and the universe avoided near meltdown when the two of them worked on the “Justice League” together, Mr. Brown as Lex Luther and Mr. Atherton as Dr. Destiny, the potential for resolving the mystery behind cold fusion almost resulted from the two sharing the same sound stage

*Also wanted to give props to what I believe was his greatest role yet, and to a show that I consider my own “Firefly” or “Arrested Development”, the short-lived and sometimes perplexing “F'N Carnivale”, where Mr. Brown played Brother Justin Crowe, and incorporated the full gamut of his That-guy skills to pull off his role as the anti-christ, and did it in more convincing fashion than VP Cheney ever has (badduumm-bahhh)…bonus points to Mr. Brown also for having a good role on one of the top 3 back stories from this season of “Lost”


* Finally, Describes himself as an avid reader who particularly enjoys the works of Frank Herbert.(Lodge and MCP favorite, I’m afraid this might cost him a vote)

Can Clancy Brown bring it? Will there ever be a man created to play the role of the Ultimate Prick like William Atherton? Well that’s up to you Lodge members…the future of the That-Guy Tournament is in your finger tips.