On March 3, 1969 the United States Navy established an elite school for the top one percent of its pilots. Its purpose was to fix space junk...

So ever since the Pluto incident I've been a little shaken up to write about Astronomy, but today we have reason to celebrate as two Hollywood-American Institutions: NASA and The Navy's Top Gun Fighter Program connect on a rescue mission to save the Hubble.

Apparently, "saving" the Hubble consists of replacing some double AA's and giving it a wash at the expense of probably several hundred million, still cheaper than Brown Bear. Without "maintenance" the telescope will go into "meltdown", which will surely be seen as a terrorist attack by our government from NASA.

The best news of this story is Commander Scott "Scooter" Altman, 47, who will lead this group of Astronauts in 2008 to fix the Hubble prior to meltdown. You might reconize "Scooter" from his aerial stunts in The Only Movie that Ever Truly Mattered to the Lodge, where he became the unidentified star and greatest Naval recruiting tool since The Village People.

So I pose this future question to "Scooter" Altman following his groups rescue of the Hubble, "How's it feel to be on the front page of every newspaper in the english-speaking world, even though the other side denies the incident? Congratulations.