"Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

Prior to experiencing the motion picture event of the year on Saturday a question was posed to the group of four that took time to appreciate the fine work of Troublemaker Studios. At the time, due to our lack of internets, we were unable to answer this question properly, but now, thanks to a high-speed T1 line and a desire to give homage to Stuntman Mike McKay I give you the advancement of Kurt Russell.

Here is a loose transcript of the conversation that led to this post: (editor’s note: this conversation may or may not have occurred)

Me: “I have to be honest, for my money, Kurt Russell might be the most advanced actor of my generation”
2.0: “Really? What about Clancy Brown? or Mario Lopez?”
Me: “Not even Mario Van Peebles”
2.0: “Give me your top 5”
Me: “(hesitation) naw, pass me that flask"
Dude: "What are you talking about?"
2.0 & Me: "The NHL"

So, in an effort to support my initial argument regarding the most advanced actor of my generation I’m going to give you the top and bottom five films of Kurt Russell’s career (editor’s note: since this discussion occurred prior to Grindhouse, the role of Stuntman Mike will not be included in this discussion)(executive editor's note: please do not confuse my definition of the term "advanced" with "advanced theory" mentioned in several Charles Kolsterman articles)

5-The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes-Yeah, I said it, It was a favorite of mine back when the Disney Channel still had #1 status on my favorite channel settings. This initial taste the Russell-catalog shows the breath of his work as a child prodigy, but also demonstrates glimpses of how he would go on to become the most dangerous man in America, no, solar system.

Movie Props goes to the original Joker, Cesar Romero, as the good guy/bad guy who mistakenly places a little too much information in the new micro-processor. Who knew that in 1969 we would have a movie that referenced the need for dumping the history and temporary internet files dump on “family” computers after…ummmm…well, it's nothing that Russell wouldn't do.

Quotability: None...this film is best remember as an upper echelon silent film.

4-The Thing-As R.J. MacReady, Russell demonstrated the one characteristic needed to become the most advanced movie actor of any generation, a great f’n beard. In actor advancement, it is fundamental that you must have role that requires you to utilize god-given natural props, and Russell cleared that hurdle with The Thing. I'd also like to add the bonus of this film having the aesthetic quality of Hoth mixed with the groundbreaking insanely good performance from Grandpa Brimley.

Movie Props goes to a very underrated performance and film from the Carpenter/Russell duo, who made a single setting thriller work by a couple of over-the-top performances and special effects.

Quotability:
MacReady: I dunno, it's like this: thousands of years ago this spaceship crashes, and this thing, whatever it is, jumps out or crawls out and gets entombed in the ice.
Garry: So, the Norwegians find it, and they dig it out of the ice...
MacReady: That's right, Garry. They dig it up, they cart it back to their base. Somehow it gets thawed, it wakes up, probably not the best of moods, and... I don't know, I wasn't there!

3-Tombstone-Wyatt Earp, I decided against Snake Plissken for the number three spot only because, during the competition for who could be the best Earp, Russell proved his alpha-dog status over Kevin Costner by out-performing and leading a much more enjoyable film with a much stronger cast than Costner’s failed opus.

Thanks in large part to the advancement of Val Kilmer, Russell was able to play the straight man and sold the show as the epic Western Lawman. The event known as Tombstone showed the next step in the evolution of the prodigal child star Russell, to the pimp-slappin'-drunken -cowboys-all-the-while-wearing-a-mustache-that-makes-Sam Elliot-cry, professional advanced actor.

Movie Props, as mentioned above go to Kilmer who is the most quoted man from the film, although Russell held his own and led a group of Sam Elliot, William Paxton Jr., and the aforementioned Kilmer.

Quotability: Two for the price of one:
“From now on I see a red sash, I kill the man wearing it. So run you cur. And tell the other curs the law is coming. You tell 'em I'm coming! And Hell's coming with me you hear! Hell's coming with me!”
&
“You gonna do somethin'? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?”


2-Miracle-Herb Brooks, It wasn't easy choosing the number one role, but placing what I feel to be the most evolved role of Russell's career at number two felt like a natural choice. The ability to not only master the Minnesotah twang, but to embody the very essence of coach Brooks and the Disney-esque storyline of the 1980 US Olympic Hockey Team, took dedication and ability unlike this world has ever seen. There's only one man who could play the leader of one of the greatest events to happen to the US of f'n A ever, no, not Harrison Ford, no, not Bruce Willis, Russell, that's who...who put this thing together?

Movie Props goes to Tom Bronson for his Costume Design and the ability to gather enough plaid pants and beige turtlenecks for the entire length of the shoot.

Quotability: “Great moments... are born from great opportunity. And that's what you have here, tonight, boys. That's what you've earned here tonight. One game. If we played 'em ten times, they might win nine. But not this game. Not tonight. Tonight, we skate with them. Tonight, we stay with them. And we shut them down because we can!

Tonight, WE are the greatest hockey team in the world. You were born to be hockey players. Every one of you. And you were meant to be here tonight. This is your time. Their time is done. It's over. I'm sick and tired of hearing about what a great hockey team the Soviets have. Screw 'em. This is your time. Now go out there and take it.”(it’s getting real dusty in the Lodge)

1-Big Trouble in Little China-Jack Burton, If you’ve read until this point and you’ve ever met me, then you aren’t the least bit surprised by this selection. There have only been a few times were the solar system was perfectly aligned to produce such an epic fable that defies genre. I cite the third film in the Carpenter/Russell trilogy as one of those events. The over-the-top performance, the tank top, the semi-mullet, the Porkchop Express….the 80’s, everything became gold for Russell in BTiLC and to this day we have this as the benchmark to use for all potential contenders to the thrown of advancement in the name of Russell.

Movie Props goes to everyone involved in the production of this film, especially these guys.

Quotability: I’m going with a personal favorite and underrated exchange, and thanks for reading, part two is coming tomorrow, which will examine the darkside of the Russell Advancement
Wang Chi: "Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here's to America's colors, the colors that never run."
Jack Burton: "May the wings of liberty never lose a feather."