Don't Say that Word...

Originally, I was going to comment on watching "Land of the Dead" on Friday and Romereo's social commentary on the state of society and blah, blah, blah, blah...then subsequently I watched "Shaun of the Dead" three nights in a row (never finishing it completely each night, thanks to a lot of good pints, another story) and found that it might just be my favorit Z-word movie of all time:

Couple of criteria's-and a top 5 of Z-word films to try and get into the spirit:
1-Blood--there's no such thing as too much...and the further the spray the better the effect
2-More the merrier-the ratio of people to Z's should be at least 5,000 to 1, once again there is never too much and if they move quickly added bonus
3-Tools of the trade...nothing says finished quite like a sawed-off 12 guage going straight to the dome...this combined with criteria #1 has been a staple in Z films for a long time, but unfortunately you see way too much automatic fire in Z films, not nearly as interesting or entertaining as a cock and a cannon blast
4-The take down scene-you can't call it a good Z film unless you have the Thanksgiving feast of some poor unlucky soul...and the more detailed intestinal track the better here as well...
5-I'd like to thank the Academy-you can't call it a Z film into you have the over-the-top preformance from your very best C-actor...this is a big break, and if you want to be in that next Ron Howard film you better leave it all out on the table


So, having gave my 5 best criteria for rating a Z film, I will proceed on a 1 to 4 scale and rank my top 5:
5-Resident Evil(Joe, for your gift to me for your wedding, I want my copy back, you hear me!):
2 for blood, lots of armor not a ton of exploding plasma either, 3 for Z to Human ratio, in a confined area, couldn't really add a ton more, but good numbers, 2 for tools of the trade, even though nothing is hotter than Milla and a shotgun, way to many automatic AK's in the this one to make a good point, 3.5 for take down scene, can't remember the character's name, but it happens when they're waiting for an elevator with his back to it: and BAM!! memorable scene...and 4 goes to Michelle Rodriguez for playing Michelle Rodriguez at volume 11

Bonus Points: also goes out to RE for bringing back the genre, dead since early 80's and weighed down with a lot of crap movies, this made it ok to like again,
Bonus Points taken away: it came from a Video Game

Total Z Score: 14.5

4-Night of the Living Dead 1968-(Joe, you don't have this copy yet, but if you did I'd want it back)
1 for blood, 1968 and a budget of like $12.50 didn't allow for a lot of splurging, also the B&W format doesn't enhance the blood splattering or gore, but if we use the enflation effect of 1968 gore to 2005, then I think the appropriate score would've been at least 2.5...3 for ratio, once again budget limited the ratio, although some of the final scenes have a great ratio and considering they're out in the Enumclaw allows for a pass on this scale, the effect is made w/o having to hire a ton of extras...3.5...tools of the trade-no automatic AK's, but good hunting rifles make all the difference and don't uncredit normal everyday household gardening tools as effective weapons against the undead...1.5 for take down scenes, not really anything memorable here, but you still get the fear throughout the whole thing...1.5 for Oscar nod's, despite the D cast no one really goes overboard here, surprising I know, but 1968 had that touch of class I think

Bonus Points: 4 for orignality, unheard of concept being brought to the big screen, social commentary by Romereo on state of society in regard to politics and commericalism, still a landmark in independent filmaking and horror classic

Total Z Score: 16

3-28 Days Later-ok, ok...now this can be debated as not really a Z movie, but still a bunch of elements about the film that make it a must on the list
3-for blood, considering the whole concept was on blood infection, not biting makes it almost more of a medical sci-fi film, like Outbreak, but watchable, good effects on the blood despite cheap budget, still not a lot of explosion, but sometimes less is more...much like English Beer 3 for ratio, set in London good use of extras and the numbers definitely give you the fear 2-for tools of the trade, way too many automatics being used again although they do give some good non-gun kills which makes it re-watchable 2.5 for take down scene, this comes at the end when the Z being kept as a pet is released and goes after the rest of the militia, not a lot of gore, but comedy and just revenge ups the score 3-for Oscar performance from Naomie Harris (thanks IMDB) who played the other adult female sidekick to our main protaganist Jim(points for that too) really goes over the top and was looking for a give on the Graham Norton show

Bonus Points: 3 for the Prefontaine effect being added as another dimension to the undead...raised the level of fear and made the movie far more interesting...also props to Danny Boyle for doing an independent Z film on super 8...love the effect for the movie...true classic

Total Z Score: 16.5

2-Shaun of the Dead-yeah I know, but I think its that good...comedy, but meets enough of the criteria to prove itself a classic
3 for blood, good splats scenes in the begining with the big guy and woman in the back garden, followed by a cup of tea and some tele, continues throughout the film with the classic white shirt worn by Shaun 3-for ratio, even though early its a little light, by the end you definitely get the fear via windows and the small London streets 3.5 for tools of the trade, here's the deal: dogs can't look up and the gun above the bar is fully loaded, giving the only gun used in the film was classic Winchester rifle with a horrible shooter is a perfect effect, bonus points for the paddle, pool que's, records and various garden equipment 3.5 for take down scene of the overgrown Harry Potter roomate of Liz, taken from surprise at the window and good intestinal effect while each limb comes apart, quality scene 1.5 for Academy overacting, hey they're British, who's better at subtle comedy and drama than John Bull? low points here, except for the Harry Potter guy, but it actually raises the level of the film as a whole

Bonus Points: 3.5 comedy/horror is not easy, ask John Landis to re-create the magic of American Werewolf in London and it couldn't be done, classic quotable lines complete with good Z undertones and its one hell of a movie, also the Brits just have a better comedic timing when it comes a dark comedy...."Sorry Shaun"..."So, your heading to the Pub?"..."Dog's can't look up"..."I'll stop doing it when you stop laughing"...just to name a few, I'm becoming very big on this film if you can't tell

Total Z Score: 18

1-Dawn of the Dead 2004-couple of things, after writing this I'm not sure that I would'nt have put Shaun #1, but I think this a more fitting movie, we'll get to that in the bonus section
4-for blood and explosion of, great work with a modest budget, dug the makeup and the aging effect they put on the Z's as the movie progressed (definitely check out the bonus material on this movie) 4-for ratio, they filled the entire parking lot and it worked, completely believable, also the openinig neighborhood was also filled, good work all around on knowing that you can never hire enough extras for a Z film if budget allows 4-no automatics whatsoever involved, handguns, sniper-rifles(one of my favorite scenes) and of course Ving's 12 guage, the standard is set, this really is another great detail of the movie, plus the croquiet mallet in one of the first scenes of the mall also deserves mentioning 2-only memorable scene came before the credits with the girl and the husband, but that hold enough weight to give it any higher rating, one of the few things this film lacks in, damn you character development 3.5 for Academy recognition, between Ving Rhames, the rich guy with the boat, the young girl, the guy from Mind of a Married Guy and the truck driving old lady this film was chalked full of the best modern day C actors that money could by, not quite the humor of the original, but definitely deserves to be praised

Bonus Points: 4 the opening scene, good way to set the fear bar high and then work down, saw it in the theater and between the bathroom escape and Tercel driving to Cash's "When the Man Comes Around" could quite possibly be my favorite opening scene of all-time, yeah I just wrote that...good to see the MTV generation of quick edits and music finally be used for something positive aside from R Kelly video's of course...also, nothing get's me more excited then finishing the story in the closing credits...I like to have my stories wrapped up, not big on imagination
Bonus Points taken away: -2 for originality, every other movie on this list had a great original take on this genre, this just enhanced a great original story, with more Romereo social undertones and gave it to the kids to eat up...that being said, I can't take off too much because I do consider it the best Z movie of all time

Total Z Score: 19.5 I think

Honorable Mention: Oceans 12 and Matrix Revolutions
Hours of my life that I'll never get back: Day of the Dead, RE: Apocolypse, Z___e (Italian Film) and Return of the Night of the Living Dead