Breaking it down GU style.
So just to preface...my friend went to GU right when they started to be good...so he has invested some time in this... Although his analysis is pretty on...sorry buddy if you read this...:
I need to preface this email with the following-
I don't want anyone to speak to me this morning. Nobody. People have already tried and I simply walked away. I work in a building of over 200 people (including children) who all know who I am and all know I'm a huge Gonzaga fan. I advertised it more often than Frontier Airlines' stupid "basketball blows up when it hits the rim" commercial (do you guys get those in Seattle?). The next person who tries to talk to me might get punched in the face. That being said, I deal with a lot of kids with grief/loss issues and one of the steps towards healing is always to make sure that your feelings are put into words somewhere, only to be shared with people close to you.
Gonzaga Bball is like that b**** of a girlfriend we all had once that we knew wasn't "The One" but we kept around anyway for a variety of reasons. She was hot. Its fun walking around with a hot chick that you can show off a little bit . . . everyone loves the hot chick and strangers sneak glances and might even say something to the effect of "Welll Plaaaayed!" There were two outstanding qualities about her (Morrison and Batista) that made you feel good and brought thoughts of long term bliss to your head. 1) She was a freak. She did an impression of a wet dry vac that still brings a tear to your eye. 2) She was always there for you. When you had a bad day, she was there with a killer HJ that made you forget about everything (remember she was a freak). Or, if the day was really bad, she let you stick it in her butt. She was so reliable.
But, what always happened with "the b**** of a girlfriend we all had once that we knew wasn't "The One" but we kept around anyway for a variety of reasons"? You got attached. You started overlooking some of the drawbacks of dating a hot freak. 1) She had herpes (Mallon). The symptoms would disappear from time-to-time, but just when you took a vacation to Hawaii or Hedonsim, she'd have a flare-up. 2) When you went on a break, she slept with 3 guys from her work because she was a hot freak who played no D and let people score in bunches. Unfortunately, you got attached and the big, red, blinking warning lights that were present at the beginning of the relationship were but a blip in your rearview mirror.
And, what happened after you got attached? That's right, she dumped your sorry a**. Just as soon as you thought something really serious was happening, she blind-sided you with the, "It's not you, its me . . . well, it's kinda you . . . I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just be direct . . . size does matter ya know." That's right . . . she didn't let you down easy. No real forewarning. "Things were going so well" you thought. Until she went for the kill-shot. The heartbreaker. Right in the babymaker. You felt like a shell of a man.
The good part is that we all know the solution to this. How to feel like a man again. We've all relied on two things to get us through some of the hardest times of our lives. You might not of thought of this yet, because times are rough, but the answer lies right in front of our eyes. Whether its Gonzaga Bball or women . . . the recipe is simple: drinking and screwing. Its an important task . . . so lets get started!! Hell, I don't care if I'm at work right now . . . I brought the Miller Hi-Life and the Magnums . . . there's a cute teacher right down the hall . . . everythings in alignment . . let's do it boys . . . let 's do it for the team . . . let's do it now and let's do it later . . . its time to break one open and break one off! Let the healing begin!!!!!!!!!
I need to preface this email with the following-
I don't want anyone to speak to me this morning. Nobody. People have already tried and I simply walked away. I work in a building of over 200 people (including children) who all know who I am and all know I'm a huge Gonzaga fan. I advertised it more often than Frontier Airlines' stupid "basketball blows up when it hits the rim" commercial (do you guys get those in Seattle?). The next person who tries to talk to me might get punched in the face. That being said, I deal with a lot of kids with grief/loss issues and one of the steps towards healing is always to make sure that your feelings are put into words somewhere, only to be shared with people close to you.
Gonzaga Bball is like that b**** of a girlfriend we all had once that we knew wasn't "The One" but we kept around anyway for a variety of reasons. She was hot. Its fun walking around with a hot chick that you can show off a little bit . . . everyone loves the hot chick and strangers sneak glances and might even say something to the effect of "Welll Plaaaayed!" There were two outstanding qualities about her (Morrison and Batista) that made you feel good and brought thoughts of long term bliss to your head. 1) She was a freak. She did an impression of a wet dry vac that still brings a tear to your eye. 2) She was always there for you. When you had a bad day, she was there with a killer HJ that made you forget about everything (remember she was a freak). Or, if the day was really bad, she let you stick it in her butt. She was so reliable.
But, what always happened with "the b**** of a girlfriend we all had once that we knew wasn't "The One" but we kept around anyway for a variety of reasons"? You got attached. You started overlooking some of the drawbacks of dating a hot freak. 1) She had herpes (Mallon). The symptoms would disappear from time-to-time, but just when you took a vacation to Hawaii or Hedonsim, she'd have a flare-up. 2) When you went on a break, she slept with 3 guys from her work because she was a hot freak who played no D and let people score in bunches. Unfortunately, you got attached and the big, red, blinking warning lights that were present at the beginning of the relationship were but a blip in your rearview mirror.
And, what happened after you got attached? That's right, she dumped your sorry a**. Just as soon as you thought something really serious was happening, she blind-sided you with the, "It's not you, its me . . . well, it's kinda you . . . I'm not sure how to say this, so I'll just be direct . . . size does matter ya know." That's right . . . she didn't let you down easy. No real forewarning. "Things were going so well" you thought. Until she went for the kill-shot. The heartbreaker. Right in the babymaker. You felt like a shell of a man.
The good part is that we all know the solution to this. How to feel like a man again. We've all relied on two things to get us through some of the hardest times of our lives. You might not of thought of this yet, because times are rough, but the answer lies right in front of our eyes. Whether its Gonzaga Bball or women . . . the recipe is simple: drinking and screwing. Its an important task . . . so lets get started!! Hell, I don't care if I'm at work right now . . . I brought the Miller Hi-Life and the Magnums . . . there's a cute teacher right down the hall . . . everythings in alignment . . let's do it boys . . . let 's do it for the team . . . let's do it now and let's do it later . . . its time to break one open and break one off! Let the healing begin!!!!!!!!!
posted by The Dude at 12:57 PM
6 Comments:
Wow. You know the GU fan has gone off the deep end when he says, "Or, if the day was really bad, she let you stick it in her butt."
Welll Plaaaayed!
Anyone else feel dirty after reading this?
i really really understand. like, that was the summary of 3 years of my life wasted. indeed: LET THE HEALING BEGIN!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Can the administrator...2.0 or Jimbo take care of this yahoo...
The blog has been tainted...
that better, I'm usually a 1st amendment freak, but usually only when it comes to porn...anyway...I haven't read any articles, but I Few dropped way down to almost Ernie Kent area after last nights game, in college bball...two things cause you to lose a game like that...1) one to two players losing conciounsness from 20 feet or 2) horrible coaching in the final 2 minutes...the latter happened last night and it pains me to see it, when I thought Few did a great job prepping his squad for the game only to single-handley lose the game...unbelievable...whereas tonight I don't expect the Montlake 5 to be in the position to blow a lead late...here's to proving me wrong and Romar not pulling a Few
Post a Comment
<< Home