"You get into all sorts of trouble if you kill people if they're still alive"
I know what you’re thinking. Who the hell is this guy?
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…Mr. Train walks over to me and says, “Dude, we got a blog. You should totally check it out. Can I borrow two dollars? Thanks man. Anyway, it’s a totally sweet blog. You should write something on it or whatever.”
Long story short, I still haven’t gotten my two dollars back.
Anyway, here I am now, so I guess I should entertain you. Mr. Train is requesting that, since I’m kind of a film nut, that I write about obscure movies (and also that I make sure that I’m funny, so I don’t make him look bad). So here we go....
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t really know your taste outside of two things:
1. Some of you have a Zombie Fetish
2. You think David Lynch is the greatest thing since sliced lettuce
Knowing these two things, there is one film that you absolutely must see.
-Cemetery Man-
A British Rupert Everett starring in an Italian horror film, filmed entirely in English.
In a nutshell, Rupert Everett stars as Francesco Dellamorte, a grounds keeper for a local cemetery. Francesco has a problem. Everyone that is buried in the graveyard keeps coming back from the dead as a zombie. Now, most people would report the problem, but Francesco likes his job, and there’s just way too much paperwork.
So night after night, Francesco goes about re-killing & re-burying everyone in the cemetery.
One day, Francesco meets a beautiful woman that he instantly falls in love with. The fall in love, but alas she dies…and then re-dies.
Up until this point things are pretty standard plot wise. But once his true love kicks the bucket, the movie becomes a serious Lynch-like Mind F*ck.
To describe the movie past this just wouldn’t make any sense (I defy you to write a plot outline for Lost Highway). But I can’t stress enough at how fun this movie is. High body count, clever plot, funny as hell, CRAZY twists, it’s all there.
So, you’re probably asking yourself, “If this movie’s so great, why the hell haven’t I seen it or even heard of it?” Basically the movie was never release theatrically in the United States and it’s never been put out on a region 1 DVD.
Still, if you can scare up a copy (either on VHS or an all-region import), I can’t recommend it enough.
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…Mr. Train walks over to me and says, “Dude, we got a blog. You should totally check it out. Can I borrow two dollars? Thanks man. Anyway, it’s a totally sweet blog. You should write something on it or whatever.”
Long story short, I still haven’t gotten my two dollars back.
Anyway, here I am now, so I guess I should entertain you. Mr. Train is requesting that, since I’m kind of a film nut, that I write about obscure movies (and also that I make sure that I’m funny, so I don’t make him look bad). So here we go....
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t really know your taste outside of two things:
1. Some of you have a Zombie Fetish
2. You think David Lynch is the greatest thing since sliced lettuce
Knowing these two things, there is one film that you absolutely must see.
-Cemetery Man-
A British Rupert Everett starring in an Italian horror film, filmed entirely in English.
In a nutshell, Rupert Everett stars as Francesco Dellamorte, a grounds keeper for a local cemetery. Francesco has a problem. Everyone that is buried in the graveyard keeps coming back from the dead as a zombie. Now, most people would report the problem, but Francesco likes his job, and there’s just way too much paperwork.
So night after night, Francesco goes about re-killing & re-burying everyone in the cemetery.
One day, Francesco meets a beautiful woman that he instantly falls in love with. The fall in love, but alas she dies…and then re-dies.
Up until this point things are pretty standard plot wise. But once his true love kicks the bucket, the movie becomes a serious Lynch-like Mind F*ck.
To describe the movie past this just wouldn’t make any sense (I defy you to write a plot outline for Lost Highway). But I can’t stress enough at how fun this movie is. High body count, clever plot, funny as hell, CRAZY twists, it’s all there.
So, you’re probably asking yourself, “If this movie’s so great, why the hell haven’t I seen it or even heard of it?” Basically the movie was never release theatrically in the United States and it’s never been put out on a region 1 DVD.
Still, if you can scare up a copy (either on VHS or an all-region import), I can’t recommend it enough.
posted by Casey at 1:23 PM
3 Comments:
Nice posting kid...now don't get cocky...be careful, it starts with loaning Train $2 and then before you know it your signing your Condo over him for an original Kennar Millenium Falcon and the Young Indiana Jones Box Set...luckily this hasn't happened to me yet, but the checks in the mail...your suggestion for Dead/Alive brought many happy smiles, so Cemetary Man wets my appetite, but hell man, don't throw it out there and then give me the all regions or vhs, haven't own one of those since I had to tape 90210...ok that's a lie, it was Melrose...but, tell me this are they in talks for a region 1 release soon, maybe add some additonal effects, like say some AT-AT walkers and Doobacks?
I will have you know the money has been repaid.. Of course it was paid back in the form of a Star Wars book mark and a collectors editions "Star wars holiday special, but hey it was paid.....
I think the $2 bucks could be a finders fee for Jordan. Although I would hate to think that Jordan is charging you to talk to him. In that case, Jordan will have send a collection agency to get me...because I won't pay a dime!
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