The long awaited Joe 2.0 Wedding Review
Alright. Before we go into the ripping apart of Joes wedding lets set the ground rules first.
1) Joe. We are all happy for you. Had a great time, and wish you and Jen all the happiness in the world, What is stated here is said because it needs to be said. If you become defensive or pissy, then you will be mocked beyond your imagination.
2) No touching of the hair or Face. AND THATS ALL!!!
To honor the them of ripping of Sports Guy format. The Wedding Review will be done using quotes from my man Stewie Griffin. However some of the quotes will not match 100%. They are just too damn funny!
Special Shout out today to the Gander. Happy Birthday to the one who makes the Goose tick!
And I guess you're a Rhodes Scholar yourself. Where did you graduate from again, the University of DUH?!?!?
To Joe 2.0 and ommitting the Ateam from the wedding party. The wedding party should consist of different parts of your life. Friends, Family, College, Childhood and BEYOND! The fact that not one member of the Ateam was chosen doesnt say much for our role in your lifetime. Kind of Like "Its a Small World" of your life. It just means when Goose renews his vows at his 10 year Anniversary. The Ateam will stand at his side (Dressed in Top Gun Graduation White Uniforms, Holding a Top Gun Trophy) While you will have to watch from the crowd. It wouldnt be a sore spot except you had groomsman up the ying yang! Add one more to the Bench for your next weeding. Honor thy Ateam
So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
Also. Not covering your bases on the slideshow of your life.
1) You ommited the Mexican and the Dude from the slideshow. The Goose squeezed in with a last second Bachelor party pic. You could have asked, and pics of the Guiness Book Museum in Vegas could have been provided. (Yes that is Trains hand on a boob.)
Side Note: Props for the David Hasselhoff/Gary Coleman/Kitt pic. Classic.
That is *exactly* the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at one in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder!
To the Joe 2.0 Pre Wedding Slide Show of the Wedding Party. It was like watching the Dating Game as a slide show. "This is Kristen, A longtime friend who enjoys long hugs, walking on the beach with her 6th toe, and shaving the back of her dog, Leg Humper, while teaching him to walk backwards. After watching that cycle through 5 or 6 times I felt like I was getting ready to watch Narnia with my Mr Pibb and Red Vines. I was ready for the next slide to say "Movies go better with Coke"
I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."
And speaking of long hugs...lets just say I havent see that much hugging since...man I dont even have a funny comparison. There was just a ton of hugging.
Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.
To the Doxa Church. Lovely place. Very nice. But whats with the Pictures on the Walls? One of them looked like a Pink Floyd album cover, another looked like the RING
And what was with the Penguin?
I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
To the slideshow picture of Joe 2.0 as an 8 year old. Nothing much to say except if I could get a copy of that picture, and put it up against the Movie poster of the 40 year old virgin, we are talking high comedy.
Oh, let me guess. Another box with a crank that I turn and turn and turn until... whoo... a clown pops out. Then you laugh, the kids laugh, the dog laughs, and I die a little more inside.
I'll leave some for the other lodge members to post. But lets not forget to thank Peggy and Al. The funniest parents I have ever met. Joe. You dad in those younger pictures is David Hyde Pierce. No Joke. Its creepy.
Congrats on the 25 post record. Add that to the 6 and 8 post yesterday and its pretty obvious verry little work is getting done.
1) Joe. We are all happy for you. Had a great time, and wish you and Jen all the happiness in the world, What is stated here is said because it needs to be said. If you become defensive or pissy, then you will be mocked beyond your imagination.
2) No touching of the hair or Face. AND THATS ALL!!!
To honor the them of ripping of Sports Guy format. The Wedding Review will be done using quotes from my man Stewie Griffin. However some of the quotes will not match 100%. They are just too damn funny!
Special Shout out today to the Gander. Happy Birthday to the one who makes the Goose tick!
And I guess you're a Rhodes Scholar yourself. Where did you graduate from again, the University of DUH?!?!?
To Joe 2.0 and ommitting the Ateam from the wedding party. The wedding party should consist of different parts of your life. Friends, Family, College, Childhood and BEYOND! The fact that not one member of the Ateam was chosen doesnt say much for our role in your lifetime. Kind of Like "Its a Small World" of your life. It just means when Goose renews his vows at his 10 year Anniversary. The Ateam will stand at his side (Dressed in Top Gun Graduation White Uniforms, Holding a Top Gun Trophy) While you will have to watch from the crowd. It wouldnt be a sore spot except you had groomsman up the ying yang! Add one more to the Bench for your next weeding. Honor thy Ateam
So which of the Latin countries are you from: the one with the civil war, the one with the cocaine, or the one with the fancy hats?
Also. Not covering your bases on the slideshow of your life.
1) You ommited the Mexican and the Dude from the slideshow. The Goose squeezed in with a last second Bachelor party pic. You could have asked, and pics of the Guiness Book Museum in Vegas could have been provided. (Yes that is Trains hand on a boob.)
Side Note: Props for the David Hasselhoff/Gary Coleman/Kitt pic. Classic.
That is *exactly* the kind of idiot you see at Taco Bell at one in the morning! The guy who just whiffed his way down the bar-skank ladder!
To the Joe 2.0 Pre Wedding Slide Show of the Wedding Party. It was like watching the Dating Game as a slide show. "This is Kristen, A longtime friend who enjoys long hugs, walking on the beach with her 6th toe, and shaving the back of her dog, Leg Humper, while teaching him to walk backwards. After watching that cycle through 5 or 6 times I felt like I was getting ready to watch Narnia with my Mr Pibb and Red Vines. I was ready for the next slide to say "Movies go better with Coke"
I've got a better idea. Let's go play "swallow the stuff under the sink."
And speaking of long hugs...lets just say I havent see that much hugging since...man I dont even have a funny comparison. There was just a ton of hugging.
Yes, I rather like this God fellow. He's very theatrical, you know, a pestilence here, a plague there. Omnipotence. Gotta get me some of that.
To the Doxa Church. Lovely place. Very nice. But whats with the Pictures on the Walls? One of them looked like a Pink Floyd album cover, another looked like the RING
And what was with the Penguin?
I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint: it's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
To the slideshow picture of Joe 2.0 as an 8 year old. Nothing much to say except if I could get a copy of that picture, and put it up against the Movie poster of the 40 year old virgin, we are talking high comedy.
Oh, let me guess. Another box with a crank that I turn and turn and turn until... whoo... a clown pops out. Then you laugh, the kids laugh, the dog laughs, and I die a little more inside.
I'll leave some for the other lodge members to post. But lets not forget to thank Peggy and Al. The funniest parents I have ever met. Joe. You dad in those younger pictures is David Hyde Pierce. No Joke. Its creepy.
Congrats on the 25 post record. Add that to the 6 and 8 post yesterday and its pretty obvious verry little work is getting done.
posted by Goose at 5:29 AM
5 Comments:
I'm not going to get defensive and pissy, and I'm not going to make excuses. But I am going to offer explanations to each well-written point on your post, Goose... accompanied by Stewie Griffin quotes also:
"Mark my words, your uppance shall come."
I've said it a couple times before in The Lodge, but I will say it again: The A-Team brought it on my wedding day and represented well. Although the only person that danced was Jimbo, which was a little disappointing, but also predictable.
"Actually, my first violent act involved that ticking time bomb that I left in your uterus when I left. Happy 50th Birthday, Lois."
To Michele "with one L": I hope you have a unforgettable birthday. You are a wonderful mother & great friend. And you should get a Noble Prize for putting up with Jeff "Mother Goose" Serling every day.
[Peter is upset, Stewie is trying to cheer him up] [pats Peter's knee]
"Hey, big guy... how you doin? Holdin up all right? Want a soda? Oh, screw it. I tried!"
The only explanation I can give about the Lodge being absent from the Wedding Party is that each of the guys (& girl) standing up for me I have each known for 10+ years. Longevity won out in the end. I apologize if any feelings were hurt. Now, stop crying.
[to ticket agent] "Now listen to me..." [looks at agent's name tag] "Jo-LENE. I've got an army to raise and I must get to Nicaragua. I require a window seat and an in-flight Happy Meal AND NO PICKLES. OH, GOD HELP YOU IF I FIND PICKLES."
Stewie crying out for God's help brings us to DOXA Church embraces the arts. And speaking of embracing, I'm a hugger, and I love you guys. Would you have rather had a slap to the backside?: "Good play, Goose!"
"I don't need to $@%# impress you."
Which is the most poignant Stewie quote I can reply with. That said, I am truly happy that each of you could be there to celebrate with me, had fun & will have fun commenting on this post. I'll hold my tongue from here on out.
Joe 2.0...I dealt with some of the very same issue's with my own wedding...the selection of groomsmen is a very difficult and should never have to be explained...I'm just happy I was able to partake in spilling beer, dancing by myself and sitting on Dude's lap while I ate...all of which should never be underrated...
Joe. To set the record straight. No feelings were hurt. No crying is happening.
Just have to point out the facts as they are seen.
Goose really summed the whole evening up. I don't think I can add much more.
We all had a great time, we laughed we cried we sat on each others laps. The night was to be remembered. Including the painting of bibleman on the wall. I don't know about you guys but personaly Bud from Charles in Charge is my favorite super-hero.
Next time I get married.... Big if.. The team will be represented and you can take that to the bank.
Time to ring in...The lodge was represented in the stands.
I have to say, dancing was done...so I wasn't humpin' Joe's leg...big deal.
The kid from "The Ring" called, he wants his picture back...I have to say the pictures were a little odd but perhaps that is why I don't go to Doxa or where ever...
Goose, very nice post. By the way, happy birthday Michele.
Also Joe congrats on the marriage, I have to say she was missed last weekend...
Were the hugs required? I felt a little awkward hugging a person I have met once.
Well that's all I have for now...it was good to be around the ATeam.
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