Handball

So here's the raddest press conference ever. Jake Plummer poured a glass of water, took a giant gulp and then talked for almost five minutes about how he was officially retiring from the NFL before stepping away from the podium without answering any questions. The former Denver Broncos quarterback was hurrying out of the announcement to play in a handball tournament with his brother. That's right. Handball. Sweet T-shirt too, Snake. The quotes from this press conference are amazing.

"I wanted to come in and tell you guys on camera and face-to-face that the speculation can stop tonight," Plummer said from the Denver Athletic Club. "You can know by the looking in my face and hearing my words that I am retiring from the NFL. At 32 years old, I'm running away from the game. Not in fear or fright, but health-wise. I'm healthy. I'm happy. I have a lot to look forward to in my life."

What do you think Jake "the Snake" did just before this picture? The Broncos traded Plummer to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers (the Lodge's team to win it on 75-1 odds in 2007 & I'm still all for this bet, just to clarify) on March 3 for a conditional pick in the 2008 draft. Plummer has three years left on his contract and was due $5.3 million in 2007. Oh, and if you guessed threw an interception, you'd be spot on.

"Life is grand, life is exciting," Plummer said. "I'm excited to move on, and encounter and take on new challenges with my life. ... I'm excited to see my family more, to be spending time with my friends. You guys can probably know that I'll be at a mountain, either at the bottom or the top of a mountain somewhere. Don't worry about Jake, he'll be fine." Umm... sure, Jake. I'd also rather play handball with my brother than earn $5.3 million to sit the pine in the Florida sun.