Vegas Review

Vegas. Sin City. We were charged with getting pictures around the city, but was foiled by the wife taking the camera for her clubbing experiences. Once again, Rule #1 comes into play: “Women ruin everything.” Even though she had the camera, did she get a picture of AC Slater celebrating his birthday at the club Pure in Caesar’s Palace? No. Not even a picture of Screech.

Upon driving in, only less than 4 hours of driving time – including a quick pit stop at Del Taco (the Southwest’s Taco Bell rival – different name, same D grade meat) – I made a quick call to Goose for a Blackjack 101 recap: Split on Ace’s and 8’s… be aggressive or passive according to the dealer’s face card… don’t be afraid to get up for a minute if you don’t feel comfortable or the dealer is a closer… you know, the basics.

My brother-in-law, Robbie DeLong, and I walked around Vegas, taking in the “splendor” of basically human greed all around us. From the clicking of the porn cards being passed out by Mexicans on the sidewalks to the enormous sports books in the larger Bellagio and Bally’s casinos, the senses are overloaded in Vegas. So it wasn’t a surprise when we met up with Jimbo, Dude and the Kennish, that the Kennish was getting aspirin for a sensory overload headache.

[Crazy side story: Robbie and I were walking by the Flamingo Casino, which has a building size picture of Toni Braxton on the side on their casino (Vegas: where entertainers go to die!), there was a dancing cage with… no joke… a retarded girl dancing inside. We tried not to look. But how can you not. She even had some dollars in her hiked up jeans. It was so wrong, it wasn’t even right. Just wrong. I feel bad even passing on the story. Of course, we still were angry that Jenny had the camera at the club she was at. Don’t judge.]

Later on, our newly former posse went out to test our Blackjack skills. With a helpful hint from Goose, we decided to hit the cheaper tables on the North end of town, not coincidently in the older casinos. If my memory serves me right, Jimbo, Dude and myself were down after the first night… with Robbie alone making a profit and going up around 40 bucks. Not bad for a first-time 21 year old drummer playing on a 3 dollar table.

The following day we hit some sports books, walked around (I must have walked 10 miles each day… until we found the monorail behind the east side of the strip that you can hop when no ones looking.), and drank. I’m pretty sure Robbie and I had at least one drink every 2 hours for the entire 48 hours we were in Vegas.

Saturday night rolls around and we decide to hit up the Sahara like old times. The A-Team stayed at the Sahara 6 years ago when we went to Vegas, and it’s still there. Hasn’t changed a bit. Jimbo and Dude found a room with 70’s themed tables and Jimbo was firmly planted at the Bob Dylan table. The Kennish was one table over, it looked like she was doing well. Dude was getting killed, and I’m pretty sure he was drinking more because of it. He’d disappear for what seemed hours at a time, then sit down, lose 20 more bucks and disappear again.

The night turned at one point and we all started winning (except Dude, of course), the cocktail waitress started showing up more frequently, and Dylan was good to us. We had become comfortable with the game of Blackjack. Hitting and staying became second nature, and the whiskey was flowing in our veins. Whiskey was probably in ours veins until Tuesday morning. Of course, Rule #1 had come into play again, as Jenny refused to drive home. It was Sunday Morning Coming Down, with a Vegas twist.

The Vegas Photo Scavenger hunt

So after getting off the phone with Joe, arming him with the Blackjack 101 rules, I gave him a project that he Dude and Jimbo must complete. A little Lodge Photo scavenger hunt.

I requested 5 pictures that must include a Lodge Member

1) A picture of Sigfried and Roy's statue, with your head in the tigers Mouth...Tasteless but always funny

2) A picture of a Whorehouse outside of Clark County, or a Street Walker with a Lodge member

3) A picture of a Lodge member accepting Street Porn

4) Lodge Members watching the Bellagio fountain (Like Oceans 11)

5) Picture of Lodge member with Celebrity Impersonator

Ass Flask Reunion: Bottom 5 & Top 5 of the 626

Just got done grubbing on some edamame and walked to class. One of the reasons we picked our apartment was because it's only two to three blocks away from campus. The class I am coming to you from is Urban Studies. I'm wearing baggy shorts... it is possible the professor will mistake me for a city kid. We will see. Of course, there's probably a better chance he's connected to the mafia. According to his website, his grandfather immigrated from Corleone and grandmother from Sambuca di Sicilia to Chicago at the turn of the twentieth century.

But I digress. Let's get on with it and make the lists. I'll start off with the Bottom 5, followed by the Top 5. So without further ado... the Bottom 5:

5. Smog
I named my Lodge team name after it. And seriously, it's pretty bad. After rain & or winds, it's not really noticeable. But normally it just puts a haze over the sky. Weird. The smog from downtown and the beach communities moves up to Pasadena due to the city being tucked next to the "mountain range" above LA County.

4. Lack of Quality Pet Stores
Those of you with pets might know about Mud Bay, an amazing pet store in Seattle that specializes in natural foods, treats and bones. In LA... nothing. Not even an equivalent store. The best dog store is not a store but a Three Dog Bakery that makes natural treats for dogs. That place was great but expensive.

3. EarthLink
Yes, the 626 area code might have looked familiar to some of you, because of our unfortunate past working for the same company. Of course, the Lodge never would have been created without that fact. So that counts for something.

Crazy thing I found a blog link from a week ago that mentions that "the company in the midst of transition." Umm... right. Apparently "transition" is a 5 year process for EarthLink execs. B!tches.

2. Cable
We can't get cable in our building. Time Warner apparently services all of LA County except Pasadena. DirecTV is in the buildings workout room & the Dish Network is another option, but not for someone who's apartment faces North and doesn't have access to the roof to point South / Southwest. The good thing is I've already lost double digit weight from watching sports games while working out.

1. LA Attitude
If you are familiar with Curb Your Enthusiasm, you'll know about the LA attitude and everyone's superficial and "I'm better than you" view towards each other. It's just weird. It's who you know, what you do, and how much you make. Hard to explain. But the b!thces are the worst thing about LA.

Top 5:

5. No Work
Having not to work while in school makes the Top 5 for sure. Jenny and I had a month off to move and get adjusted to our new city and it was awesome to take that time off from work. It was a huge blessing being about to relax and recharge during this time of transition in our lives.

4. School
Fuller’s main campus is located in Pasadena. And yes, it’s one of the highlights because I’m able to finish up my Masters in one year. If I survive my heavy class load, I’ll be coming home for 2+ weeks in December, since classes end December 7.

3. The Industry
As much as the LA attitude sucks, with “The Industry” being mostly in Hollywood and it’s surrounding areas, LA has a ton of movie theaters and a ton of opportunity to see entertainment in general. There are 3 movie theaters within 1 mile of our place, carrying both major and independent productions. In addition, Greg mentioned to me before I left Seattle that there are only 2 cities that every musical artist always tours through when touring the States. One is LA. I’m hoping to join a weekly poker game with Clooney in the next few weeks. If he’ll only return my calls…

2. The Beach
And I’m not talking the extremely underwhelming Leonardo DiCaprio movie. But nice beaches about 30 minutes from our place in Pasadena. There’s a great dog beach in Huntington Beach that Gatsby (aka Nate Newton) enjoyed himself to the point of passing out at.

1. 4 hours from Las Vegas
That’s right. Vegas, baby! I bring this up because I’m going to be in Vegas two weekends from now, October 5-7. And if there’s anyplace one can find last minute cheap tickets to, it’s Vegas. I’ve mentioned this to some of you previously, and I know some Lodge members are rumored to be coming out that same weekend for The Dude’s birthday + it’s known that Goose has prior football commitments. But that being said, it would be great to see more of you that weekend.

Jenny is going because of her sister’s birthday and her girlfriend’s birthday being that weekend. So they are going to celebrate by going to clubs and seeing some “shows.” Obviously I’m going to stick to the drinking, gambling & sports books. Jimbo and I might have an “ass-flask” reunion. In fact, that event is pretty much a given. Mark it down in pen.

So I’d love to place any bets for anybody if need be. I’ll collect money for the bets during Christmas break. Feel free to email me any picks and gambling hints. Goose, I’ll probably need a blackjack 102 post, with a refresher on the basics and some advanced technique since this will be my second visit to Sin City.