Raw Human Talent

This guy just deserved his own post. He's so raw he's not even a ninja. A real Russian Other. Yes this is a different video than on the comments. At 2 minutes into the video it just gets ridiculous. Just jump off the earth why don't ya!



And you cannot avert your eyes. Above is a screenshot from DayWatch.

Barry Bonds In All His Glory

No one can be told what Barry Bonds in drag is like...one most see it with their own eyes.

Whose Side Are You On?

Ninja or Pirate?

I'll take a sack of black powder and your best throwing stars

Where have all the ninja’s gone? I ask you this because there is a seriously steep drop off of in quality ninja movies. Gone are the days when I would sneak out of bed late at night to watch HBO and maybe catch something with Michael Dudikoff because if I did I was guaranteed a least a few throwing stars and if I stayed up long enough I might be to see the final duel. The final duel always consisted of one man usually with a rocking mullet or man perm taking on the entire population of the Philippines. For some reason these movies took place there, must be because they used the Islands as a pseudo Vietnam for the majority of ‘80s action/war movies and Imelda needed the money to buy all her shoes.

Now people can say well the Ninja’s have just moved to cyber space. There is a whole virtual war between Pirates and Ninja’s because if you didn’t get the memo they don’t like each other. I want the celluloid ninja’s the cheesy 50K budget movie that had bad dubs and actors that looked like they just got off the boat.

I really have no idea what this post is essentially about I just wanted to shed some light on the ninja. And give my personal favorite ninja movies that must be seen. For the more cultured people in the lodge you might scoff at this but I am not looking for the next big thing from Japan or Asia I want to talk about the crap I watched on cable back when cable was still taboo, when you had to watch the playboy channel through the squiggly lines.

So here is my stab in no particular order.

1. ENTER THE NINJA (1981): Basically what I remember about this is it stars Franco Nero. He plays an army vet who goes through “ninja training” then helps eliminate the bad guys from a Pilipino farm. The movie is dubbed for some reason since I think most of the cast spoke English. The dub is a little off but that just adds to the quality factor.

2: REVENGE OF THE NINJA (1983): Wow, what is better than a group of immigrants moving to the US to start a new life and open a doll shop? Well its better when you add a drug smuggling ring that is using the dolls to ship heroine. This can only lead to one thing those immigrants got to use there ancient ninja skills to drop a few round houses. The swords and stars fly and so does the body count. The only real drawback is that it wasn’t filmed in the Philippines.


3: AMERICAN NINJA (1985): I think the tag line says it all… The Orient created the world’s deadliest art. Now there is an American Master. Norris himself was originally cast to play the lead but for some reason passed on it to do we can only hope Bradock: Missing and Action 3. Michael Dudikoff plays the master in a movie that spawned numerous sequels. Also it was directed by Sam Firstenberg, the master of ninja movies. He later went on to direct Breakin’ 2 electric bugaloo.


These movies made the train who he is today. For a period of about 3 years I couldn’t go anywhere unless I had my plastic throwing stars and sword. Not to mention my sleek black ninja uni-tard. I doubt any of these movies are on DVD but you might catch them late on a weeknight and for that I still love America.

10--2 All In

10-2 in poker circles is better known as "the Doyle Brunson". He's won 2 World Series of Poker Championships with that hand. Is it because he's insanely lucky? No, like any other game of wits sometimes chances have to made at precise moments. Truly, going all in with 10-2 is like a D-day landing at Normandy or MacArthur's surprise landing at Inchon. There is a much better appreciation for this at a better level of play. I first looked into Doyle Brunson at my local Barnes and Noble and started reading Super System which really really sucked. It was originally published in 1979. The book is filled with pictures of him hanging out with mobsters feathered hair and aviator glasses. The thing that really got me was the strategy and advisement for the No-Limit Poker section was very very juvenile. I know i speak in hyperbole often, but i take gambling very seriously and honestly have been around gambling since I could walk. That is not a joke.

I play poker about every week and I've become really desperate for advance strategies and tactics in poker. The main thing i've been wanting to get at is the Heads Up game strategy. I refuse to read Hellmuth's books because I think he's an asshole. So I went into Barnes and Noble again this weekend and took a look at Super System 2 which is phenomenally leaps and bounds better. Why? It finally gets over rudimentary ideas and tactics and moves into sidestepping other players who are also good. If you're new to poker I'd really consider getting one of the skinnier books poker books for a good foundation. Super System 2 is more like a lecture with a theoretical base on it for advanced play. Doyle Brunson is continually saying that there are instances where you need to "feel" the next play is going to be. And I accept that being at an experience novice level I have that gambling instinct developing.

My overall feeling on poker is that it has really blown up, and getting conspiracy theorist on you: The new media hype was devised by 10 of the top poker players in the world in an attempt to further increase their winnings with new blood and new tournaments. It is control of principalities of money. I'm sure that the books we have out are worthless when it comes to high-level tournament play.

No love for Dr. Jones

Mesmerizing

For my money, this was one of the greatest bits "Family Guy" has ever done.

"I'm not going to get worked up..."

So I was channel surfing last night and came upon White Sox GM Ken Williams talking about Frank Thomas and the comments he made to a local South Chicago newspaper. I have to say, I don't think Williams left anything on the table. After reading several articles on the story, it seems like Thomas was bent out of shape on how he was escorted out of Chicago.

"The greatest hitter in White Sox history reiterated that point in his latest interview, touching on several subjects and adding that he and Williams didn't see eye-to-eye after Williams became GM following the 2000 season.
At the time, Thomas was unhappy that his next-to-last deal with the White Sox contained a "diminished skills" clause. He said the White Sox should have traded him after the playoffs that season.
He also repeated that had he known last fall the team wasn't going to bring him back — they later gave him a $3.5 million buyout — he wouldn't have participated in a couple of ceremonial functions during the postseason. "

Williams worked up about the issues that Thomas had said...stated..."He better stay out of White Sox business."

If you want my two sense, I think the Sox kept Thomas around a couple years too long. I was happy to see them win the World Series, like any other White Sox fan. I was there when Thomas got the call up and I was at the Kingdome in 1990. He was a great baseball talent. I say this because of all the injuries in the past years have not made him into a productive hitter like years past. I think this is a guy that was upset when the team resigned Konerko and then traded away for Thome.

The organization pretty much did everything to tell the guy he was done. They let him throw a first pitch at a playoff game. Plus he got to speak at the celebration. Do you think they let other injuried guys, who have been on the self almost the entire season do that? I don't think so... Why should he complain at all? He got bought out for $3.5 million.

Williams had stayed tight lipped for long enough and I'm glad he spoke out. Players leave and bash their former teams. But this organization had treated Thomas as well as you can handle a big mouth, often injuried player.

Would it have been great if Thomas finished in Chicago, sure but I think Thomas had worn out his welcome long before he was released. I can't wait for these two teams to meet. Don't be surprise if Thomas pulls a Griffey and not play when Oakland comes into Chicago. If he does, don't be surprised if he gets a Freddy Garcia, or Mark Buehrle fast ball in the back!!!

Beware: Italy

I'm Devin the Duke, a.k.a Capitol Hill 80's Dance Club Leader and co-singer of the now defunct indie pop group El Ron Beyond. This is me and my guys summer of '98 in L.A. Let me tell you one thing, Cocaine is one hell of a drug on the road. I've been clean for 4 years now and my body has regressed back into its normal pigmentation. The great guys at the lodge have allowed me to post and give insight onto great hobbies like disco dancing, kill the dog, and prostitution. Since we're reminiscing about great italians this week I figure this is a good start and good introduction. I first encountered a brothel on accident in the wonderful quarters of Rome, Italy. I was just winding down on whats called the Curling Circuit (Quebec, Nova Scotia, Greenland, The Netherlands) and said to myself, "Hey lets go get Godfather on some sh*t." So I went to Italy for a while on my own. Of course the fun loving innocence and ignorance of our Canadian brothers had rubbed off on me too much, and there's nothing hypnotic demon possessed Gypsies love more than to distort reality with their eye, especially on me.

Getting there was the worst thing ever. A thunderstorm delayed the flight, then the fuel pump wouldn't pump, then they couldn't find a union employee who was authorized to fix it, finally about to fly out and the flight crew can no longer fly due to time regulations. After talking to some woman claiming to be the conductor of the New York Philharmonic en route to Sardinia we got back on with a new crew. Some old guy has to decide its a good time to have a heart attack, he's lucky i didn't chop him with a filipino jungle machete. Well, after that flight delay in the 4th circle of hell (New York City) I finally landed at Leonardo Da Vinci airport 32hrs+ my original time. Union power is sometimes useless power.

So I get there in the middle of the night and its all romantical n' sh*t just like the pictures. Thankfully my hotel staff is european rude, which means inconsiderate but not enthused about it. I was extra happy to have been booked with a room view that shows the interior brick wall of the building, luckily echoes from drunk cooks on the ground floor kept me sane. I pop on the t.v., in order to turn on a tv you have to hold down the power button the remote, press the t.v. power button, and put a rosary string into the headphone plug. I called the front desk and they sent some gypsy boy to stare at it for a minute and it quit being so difficult for about another day. On day 3 i decide to just join the dark side for entertainment purposes. Thank God we have ipods now, the gypsies can be marginalized again.

The flight earlier that evening still had me rattled. Roman television late night can only go so far with prostitution infommercials. Channel one is Lesbian clips, channel two is for queer boys, channel three is a little unspeakable, and channel four is "The Pope - Late Night", each one with their own 267-888-000000 #. (euro phone #'s incorporate the power of pi) This bores me... i thought. So I wandered out onto the street in need of some extreme cigarette chain smoking. I get out onto the street tottally strung out and anxious. I tone it down and try to imagine these cobblestone streets and narrow old buildings are like the Italian version of Belltown back home, people lounging on cafe patios and meandering to their next destination.

People are wearing suits, and i'm wearing a track jacket and knit beanie from Urban Outfitters. Take that Dolce & Gabbana. I walk up to the first approachable person I see that won't sneer at my brown skin and broadway hipster gear: Italian Policeman - Carabinieri. He looked more like a waiter on his way home, but this cop was just chilling on a sidewalk. I wish they'd write about this in tour books but Italian police are the laziest and most ignorant people in the world. In the U.S. when you're lazy you can either live at home with your parents, or work at the mall. In Rome you join either the city police or federal police. Why do they have two types? I assume just to fill the ranks of an overly inflated government workforce. I'm standing there making hand signals and saying "Tobacco? Cigarillo? Tobacciano? ... Bong?" Of course he just kind of stood there pointing his hands in some other direction telling me to go to some square that was going to for sure be closed at this hour. After 5 minutes trying to determine how much english he could never understand I just nod my head and say, "Si, totte grazie, you're useless." Thank God as I walk a block further down and I see this guy in a suit smoking a cigarette. I don't know if bumming smokes is cool here but I'm frustrated enough to nearly steal the one he's smoking from his mouth.

Let's call him Luco. Luco was standing on the next corner down from the cop in the pale moonlight. I don't know why, maybe just to be romantic and consider paintings of Caravaggio and Donatello in his mind. I stroll up to him and like, "Scusi, tobacco por favore." He just rolls his sight to me every so slowly, takes another drag and says liltingly, "Oh, Americano?" "Si! Si! Si!" My exuberance did not falter him. "So you ah, want ah cigaretto?" "You speak english?" He puts up his thumb and finger animating the universal symbol of 'just a little'. For all I care now this guy is a genius. An Italian who's not rude yet knows rudimentary communication skills, its simply awesome. Luco continues on, "I own a bar down the street. We have a cigaretto there." In my heart of hearts I am relieved to finally come across the only easy providence I've experience in probably 2 days. Luco leads me left around the corner and down the otherside a couple of blocks.

My internal Devin-sense starts kicking a little bit. We're getting farther and farther from the public street and the lighting is becoming sparse. I start remembering I'm all by myself with Luco who could be prince of thieves in Ravioli District. He just keeps on smoking, taking a slow pace. Every few feet I start feeling like the Spidey-sense symbols are radiating and the corona of them around my stomach are starting to exponentially spiral out of control. Luco, just asks me simple questions in Italian/English, I just say "Si/No." Suffice to say I am now officially wired. It wasn't enough to get punked in New York by puerto ricans, not enough to sit next to some annoying jersey girl for 10hrs, not enough to be stuck on board a stuck plane forever, this finally gets to the pinnacle.

We cross the dry gray cobblestone lane to a blank storefront. Theres a generic neon sign and nothing else except a glass door and windows. Luco puts out his cigarette on the sidewalk with a quick stomp and then opens the door for me. And then we're standing there in this nightlit white walled linoleum floored box. Right now I am just absent of anything reasonable in my mind. Luco goes to the nearest wall and pushes on it. PUSHES THE WALL OPEN, revealing a stairwell leading downstairs. He looks at me like there's nothing weird going on and motion his arm invitingly. Thats when I find out there's a little girl inside of me and I hear screaming from the essence of my being, "DON'T GO DOWN THERE!" I have a man moment. I clearly remember this, I had to tell the little girl inside, "I can't pussy out now." I went down the stairs and my Grandmother started rolling in her grave.

Now what I saw downstairs I'm really not sure about. Mainly because it was so stereotypically out of some B movie. A fully red light lit lounge. Red drapes, a bar, maroon vinyl bench seats, cocktail tables, and a piano at the far end of the place. I couldn't believe that somethings this cheesy was real. The Coup de gras was this: a dozen girls all sitting in a row smoking cigarettes. I wish I could see how big my eyes were and the blank expression of my mouth. The sheer realization and unbelieving moment and all the cosmos is agreeing with you, I am in a brothel. No more, no less. It was real. I was so screwed and out of it that I just became a head nodder. Luco was just like, "Come on sit at the bar, have a drink too." I just nodded and walked towards this grinning blonde 40yr old vulture of a bartender. More polite broken English started flopping out of her mouth, "Whut drinc ... yuu wanta... ?" Finally out of Luco's smooth cadence I realize whats going on. "No, no no no. I just wanted cigarettes. I don't want a drink." I start cracking, "I don't wanna drink, I really only wanted cigarettes, really. Thats all I wanted. No drink. NO drink. NO DRINK." Luco seeing me finally cornered lifted up his golden arm and waved at the girls. Suddenly, I felt hands rubbing my shoulder and arm.

Let me clarify something additional. All of these girls were skank ugly. I would go so far as to say FUGLY. Because really most girls in Europe are very pretty and I just guess this is what happens to the ones who just don't cut it. This curly brown haired 35yr old "girl" was sitting next to me now in the opposite bar stool. She had thick eyebrows, a crooked nose, and distorted big lips. But her voice was a lot more refined than the others, she brought out the stereotypical italian seductress, a wannabe Pussy Galore with a confident tone that ended in giggles. Really though, Lets reference her as Veracosa. Vercosa chipperly asked, "Hi, whats your name." "Devin..." and I just stared off blankly into the bar bottle shelf. Noticing my unease she touched my head and said, "I like your cap." I nodded, looked at her, she giggled, I smiled bashfully. I liked it too ho, I got it at the bargain bin on Broadway. She knew I was now in the den, but not yet her in claws, "You want a drink?" At those words I went back into frantic mode. "No no no drink. Just cigarettes." I ranted for a bit. And then it had to go into tag team mode at the red light bar. Luco came over, the bartender sprang to service, and Veracosa wrapped both her arms around mine. I was in priority alert: level one. The useless bravado in me just gasped out Don't Pussy OUUUUT!!!!. I hate that voice now.

I ended up buying her a drink at her constant wishes. I bought myself a drink at their pushing. I got my damn marlboro light box. I avoided her requests to "See the backroom." I left weary up the stairs. I saw Luco in his suit with another suit bastard smoking in front. He just waved at me, smiling. $120.00 less in my pocket I walked back to the dumb hotel room. In my dumb 'cap'. I had breakfast the following morning and met some American Marines who laughingly said to me, "Oh you got grabbed by a Piano Bar guy huh...." I am awesome.

Wonderlic This!

Does Vince Young have the brain to play QB in the NFL? I'd love to get our resident Football coaches' (Goose, Train & Jimbo) opinions on the Wonderlic test. Word is that Vince Young bombed his Wonderlic test. Rumor had Young scoring a 6 on the test. To me, bottomline is that Vince Young is a phenomenal athlete who has a funky arm slot and throwing motion -- but nonetheless is a true leader. And probably more improtant, a winner.

For those who don't have Insider, apparently the results of his first test haven't been confirmed -- and combine officials have said the score of 6 was wrong -- plus, ESPN.com's John Clayton reported that Young scored a 16 on his second try (something his agent also confirmed) and Young is expected to take it a third time (maybe he's never heard Yoda's "try" speech before). According to the article, the results of that test will not be released to NFL teams until next week, so it remains completely speculation at this point.


"The combine officials assured us that score (6) was false and that the accurate score will be known when the combine results are given to each team," Young's agent, Major Adams, said.

Scouts Inc. is reporting that the highest Wonderlic score registered at last year's scouting combine was a 40 (QB Alex Smith) and the lowest score was a 6 (RB Frank Gore). Scouts Inc. was also told by an NFL scout that the other two top quarterbacks this year fared much better on this test, with USC's Matt Leinart scoring a 35 (at the combine) and Vanderbilt's Jay Cutler scoring a 29 (in a test given prior to the combine). So the question is this -- if you were an NFL GM on the clock -- would you take Young over Leinart or Cutler?

"We almost had to move it up to the 10 second rule! "

So, I’ll try to make sure I spell correctly and format my images right before the Dutch SS finds me...

Saw a film that I found semi-amusing and wanted to give a couple of quotes to highlight a better-than average and under the radar north of the border comedy with a laundry list of B/C-stars from TV and stand-up…here’s a couple of quotes to entice those who haven’t seen the glory: (The only plot detail I’m going to give you is that its filmed in and around a restaurant named ShenaniganZ, which is a fairly successful chain in Canada so I’m told, if you want more go here: )

The Movie: WAITING…


“I guess we should feel some sort of guilt, but she broke the cardinal rule; never f’ with people who handle your food.”

To first time writer/director Rob McKittrick, for a movie premise that really hasn’t been utilized enough, having worked briefly in the restaurant cartel and hung around waiters/bartenders for a long time, especially during my late teens and early 20’s, this movie tapped into a lifestyle that was way too common to me and obviously came from a guy who had experience getting his chops busted by co-workers and customers. Also, I’m not sure why the zany-antics of the restaruant business hasn’t been exploited by TV/Cable, seems fairly easy to have 23-20minute episodes focusing on different characters who work at a restaurant. Hmmm, this could be the thing that gets me a Nielson box.

“So you're the coolest guy at ShenaniganZ, big f’n deal! That's like being the smartest person with Down syndrome!”

To Ryan Reynolds as Monty, I should seriously have a disdain for this guy, but I find that I generally like the sarcastic semi-lead, semi-supporting roles that he's typically cast in, not sure how much is acting and how much is just him, but he doesn’t annoy me as much as I would've guessed. He does a good job of keeping this film connected between the one serious plot line involving his buddy Dean, and the antics of the rest of the staff.

I’m not sure if he’s really made for films though, I see him as a Jason Lee 2.0 in about 4-5 years once the movie roles dry up a little. (Also he gets points for the Canadian hook up he’s worked with McAdams and Morissette, and I just found out he’s not Burt Reynolds son, this is like the initial viewing of ‘Empire’ all over again)

“We need to seize the day. Be enthusiast…Aw, yeah! Carpe deez nuts! I can't WAIT to quit this job!”

This one is to the Dane Cook and the dude from the ex-Comedy Central show “Con”-Skyler Stone as two of the line cooks. There was not a whole lot of chances to shine, but they played there 5 minutes of screen time well and represented fairly accurately depictions of all the cooks I’ve ever worked with, bonus goes to the “What happens when you ask for your food to be remade” scene. 2.0, the Dane Cook factor should be enough for you to check this film out.

”Mitch I’m going to be honest with you, I could go over the procedures and operation of working the floor, but you can learn all that in an hour…what I really need to ask you, in order for you to “fit in”, is how do you feel about frontal male nudity?

The real reason this movie is getting a post is from the previous line and Luis Guzman’s character as the head line cook and “the game” he invented. I don’t want to give too much away other than after you see the movie and someone references either “the brain”, "the bat-wing" or “the goat”, you will laugh…this is guaranteed. And props to McKittrick for hooking Guzman up with a good comedy role, I don't what it is, but Guzman always makes a film, that much better, like tabasco or guacamole.

“The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.”

To David Koechner, who is quickly turning into the #1 “that guy” of comedic films. He turns in a memorable role as the restaurant manager and although doesn’t get the quality lines like “I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!,” he still brings something to the table and is making a case to be in the next 35 comedy releases throughout the year.

“You need to invent your own penis-showin' game. “

And to a Goose favorite, Chi McBride as the emotional and spiritual guru of dishwashing "Bishop", he rounded out an eclectic cast and represented with a glass of Cognac at the final party, I don't why, but that gets points in my book.

I’m not sure this is going down as a “phenomenal” debut, ala Clerks, from a writer/director who basically wrote about experiences in a Denny’s in Utah, but it definitely passes the 2am, HBO and sitting-in-line-for-a-movie-quoting-other-movies tests. I liked it, but then again I didn't like "Audition" so what the f' do I know.

And remember: If you can pull 'The Goat' off, you're a god among men.

Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian.

Darren McGavin passed away of natural causes last Saturday night. Thought I would give a little blog space to the man who made the movie “A Christmas Story”. Born in 1922, McGavin had over 170 staring roles during his Hollywood career.

Mostly staring in television shows during that time with small movie roles mixed in between. He appeared in shows like Mission Impossible, The man from UNCLE and Gunsmoke. While working in television and film he was also a prolific Broadway actor. Most of our generation remembers McGavin as the “Old Man” from “A Christmas Story”. A man’s man who was vitriolic and a buffoon at the same time; after all he did win a major award. Later McGavin appeared in but was not credited for his roll as a gambling/bookie in “The Natural”. Never tiring McGavin went on the appear in many rolls in the late ‘80s and ‘90s in such shows as the X-Files and Murphy Brown.

Don Knotts passed away last Friday night due to complications from pulmanory respiration complications. Born in 1924, Most remember Knotts as the bumbling deputy Barney Fife on "The Andy Griffith Show." Later in life he appeared in a slew of Disney films such as "The Apple Dumpling gang" and my personal favorite "the incredible Mr. Limpet." His last major TV roll was on "Three’s Company" where he was cast as a would be landlord swinger Mr. Fulrey. Later on in the ‘90s he appeared alongside his good friend Andy Griffith again in the crime drama "Matlock." His last film role was a voice in the Animated feature "Chicken Little."

Who the @#$% is Venom?

Okay, Train just filled me in that someone beat me to the punch of explaining who Venom was, but since I'd already typed this damn thing up I'm still going to post it....

This involves a bit more explanation than a comment rally can accommodate, so this is going to get its own post.

There are really 2 main origins and back stories for Venom (I’m not counting any 2099 or alternate universe/what if?/earth X type stuff).

One takes place in the traditional Marvel Comics universe and is actually a little convoluted and hard to explain. The other takes place in what’s known as the “Ultimate” universe. The Ultimate universe was Marvel’s attempt at resetting continuity. Spider-man is over 40 years old and there’s a lot of history that can be something of a turn off to new readers. The Ultimate universe is a re-imagining of Spider-man. The basic character and powers and such are all there, but everything else is re-told and changed. It’s actually a more enjoyable read than the regular Spider-man books.

The original back story isn’t filmable really, and wouldn’t work with what’s been established in the first 2 movies. The Ultimate back story however actually would work pretty well.

Anyway…here’s the original Venom origin story…

In the Mid 80’s there was a huge Marvel crossover event called “Secret Wars”. The basic story of it was that all of the hero’s and villains on Earth were transported to an alien planet where they were pitted against each other in an all out war.

While on this Alien planet, Spider-man came across this black substance that swarmed onto his body and formed itself into an all black costume, with a giant spider logo on the chest. The costume had special powers like creating its own webbing (in the comics Spider-mans webbing isn’t organic, it’s actually a fluid he created and he has shooters that attach to his wrists), and it could morph into clothing merely through Peter Parker’s thoughts.

Once back on Earth, Spider-man adopted this outfit as his new permanent costume. However over time, Peter started noticing weird things happening. He’d go to sleep and wake up in different places, finding out that he had done things in his sleep (Think Ed Norton in Fight Club…while he’s asleep Tyler takes over and does whatever he wants).

Eventually, Peter tries to take the costume off, but it won’t budge. He goes over to see if Mister Fantastic can help, and he determines that the costume is actually an alien symbiote. Mister Fantastic manages to get the thing off of him (resulting in the Human torch giving Spiderman a temporary costume that’s been a fan favorite for years). The blob escapes and tries to re-bond with Peter, but Spidey fights it off.

Meanwhile, there’s a reporter for the Daily Globe named Eddie Brock (he’s name checked in the first Spider-man movie). In a nutshell, Brock is working on a big crime story that Spider-man reveals to be nothing but a big hoax. The Daily Globe fires Eddie Brock, and he comes in contact with the Symbiote. They bond and Venom is born. Shenanigans ensue.

Fans went nuts for Venom and he started popping up in just about every comic Marvel put out. He’s even had a crap load of mini-series and had evolved into more of a vigilante than a villain. This turned the character off to a lot of fans and writers, and he’s basically disappeared over the last 5 years or so.

However, over in “Ultimate Spider-man” land, we have a little bit cooler Venom story….

Eddie Brock is actually a childhood friend of Peter Parker (Btw in the Ultimate universe Peter Parker is still in high school, which is basically where the character was for most of the 60’s in the main universe). The symbiote isn’t an alien. It’s actually a “genetically engineered protoplasmic” suit that was designed by both of their fathers. Parkers dad wanted to use it for medical purposes (if I recall it was to be used as a cure for cancer), and Brock’s dad wanted to sell it to the military as a form of the “super soldier” program (The super soldier program is the program Steve Rogers was in during World War II that lead to him becoming Captain America).

Anyway, the project failed, and both of their fathers are now dead, but there are two suits still left behind. I think one was made with Parker DNA and the other with Brock. The Parker one bonded with Peter and the “Black Costume” was born. It increased his strength and responded to his thoughts, but it began to drive him a little nuts, and nearly made him kill someone. Peter saw the danger in the suits and was going to destroy both samples. Eddie Brock didn’t want to destroy either suit so he bonded with one and become Venom. He immediately went crazy and the only way to keep his sanity is to either feed off of other people or the suit begins to consume Eddie himself.

More Chuck. Less Filling.

So Chuck Norris himself chose his 20 favorite facts. Here's the list (most of these have not been posted on the lodge):

*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
*Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
*There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
*Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
*Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
*Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
*Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
*Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
*There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
*When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
*Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
*Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
*There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
*Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
*Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
*Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
*Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
*Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
*Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
*Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Everyone take a step back...I need to geek out for a second.

So Sony just released the Teaser poster to Spiderman 3 14 months early and it's AMAZING!

Now, that's not a black and white photo. That's actually Spiderman in a black costume, which can only mean one thing: The villian that Topher Grace will be playing is going to be none other than Venom himself!!!!!!!

None of the lodge may care, but that's huge news. I was on the fence about having Venom in this flick, but once I caught a glimpse of this picture, I'm suddenly as excited as Goose at a Flash Gordon convention. Knowing that they're at least gonna intigrate the black costume into Venom's story aleviates a lot of my aprehension.

This movie is going to rock the casbah!!!

That Guy Surprise & Seattle Stern Sighting

One of the more popular That Guy's from Jimbo's forever epic (and hopefully returning soon) series, Peter Stormare, is back again. And this time he's pimping Volkswagon. So my question is this... once a That Guy has moved into commercials... Does it add to his That Guy credibility or take away from his status as a That Guy?



In other news coming out at the end of the business day on a busy Thursday, NBA Commish David Stern visited Seattle today. David Stern [left in picture] commissioner of the National Basketball Association, is greeted by Tim Ceis [right in pic] Deputy Mayor of Seattle and Wally Walker, Seattle SuperSonics general manager, center, as they arrive to testify before the Washington Senate Ways & Means Committee in Olympia, Wash., Thursday, Feb. 23, 2006. The SuperSonics play their home NBA basketball games at the Key Arena. Stern asked Washington state lawmakers Thursday for tax money to renovate the Seattle SuperSonics' arena, saying there could be consequences if the state doesn't act.

So now the commish is starting to push Seattle a little for a new stadium. We touched on this briefly a couple of weeks back. What do you guys think after some more time to read up on the situation? The SG thinks that Stern has gone soft after meeting with him for a chat a couple of weeks back. But I still think Stern has a lot of influence & this visit could spurn the city to move for renovations.

Hutchinson Gets Tagged

Deadline Thursday - In other local sports news.....the Seahawks informed Steve Hutchinson that they have used the transition tag on him. Interesting move....I'm guessing they are banking on the fact that Guards aren't traditionally given the big buck$, and this eliminates the risk that they would overpay him out of the gate. Hutch has been the model Hawk since he was drafted in 2001. Great person, great attitude, great football team player. The definition of getting it done.

A day late and a dollar short

Here we are on the holiest of holy days. Yes its Chewbacca Thursday.
We live in a society today that uses the past to make up for a lack of creativity in the present. How many movies are made today based on TV shows of the past.

Well for lack of a good idea for a post this week, I am pulling from the past.

Here we go with That Guy Wednesday (Only its Thursday...I didnt have time to post this yesterday)

I give you Daniel Roebuck
Who?....Daniel Roebuck



Fans of Lost will know who he is when you see his face. But I remember him most from a little side role, as one of Tommy Lee Jones team in the Fugitive and US Marshalls




Lots of television roles. Lost, Matlock, Nash Bridges, Star Trek TNG, ER, and monk to name a few.
I pulled him up while looking at the cast of Rivers Edge. complete forgetting he played Samson 'John' Tollet.

I loved "That Guy Wednesday" and am lobbying hard for its return. In the mean time I can only do my best to honor its rich tradition.

And now to honor Thursdays tradition............

Who do you play for?

Dude, it’s Saturday night. You know what that means? It’s hockey night in Canada. Being the only guy in the lodge that utters those words I thought it was a good time to bring up the debacle on ice. Yep, Michelle Kwan is out. No. I’m talking Pro’s in the Olympic hockey tournament.

Good lord I’m glad I’m not in Canada right now. I can only imagine the collective blood boiling and true disbelief that the land that made hockey is not even going to be in the medal rounds. Canyou imagine what gun sales would be like there if they could buy them? Guaranteed suicide rate increase by 10%, a national day of mourning if you will. Now with the US team I easily saw them putting up a 1-4-1 record especially with the roster they brought to Torino. Aging vets aren’t going to get it done and Mike Richter ain’t between the pipes no more.

I bring this up due to the fact that I think it’s time we take the tourney back to the kids the armatures. I want the unknowns. I want to feel the excitement of kids from Winston, Mass Elk Snout, Wisconsin and Bangor, Maine. The Canucks brought a team filled with eight current or former NHL team captains, eight Lord Stanley winners and eight returning gold medal winners from Salt Lake. Yet, they were held scoreless for 15 periods. To me that says the pros get you nothing more then a nice media buzz and an allusion that the best are playing. I say take a chance and go back the real ideals of the games. The whole pro aspect was nice for a time but now it seems more like a hinder ant.

I don’t know this was just a rant I wanted to get off my chest. I just want a miracle again. I guess since I never got to experience it. I know times have changed and that will never happen again but the thought of real armatures is a pipe dream. The sports world is too big to go back to it. The Jim Craig’s and Mike Eruzeonis are gone.

Watson coming back to his drafting home...

The days of Vitaly and Reggie Evans are gone. On ESPN.com reports that Earl Watson is coming back to Seattle as part of a three team trade.

Thoughts on the trade? I don't think it's a good idea..why would you bring a person back that you got rid of? The upside is that you got rid of two players that Bob Hill didn't like.

First Time I Met The Blues

In the need to fill up space on this here web log, and to divert the conversation away from pseudo-hot Russian Vampires(which amazingly isn't happening), I’m going to shift my Wednesday highlight to music and a man…well…sometimes there’s just a man for his place and time…his place has been the blues and his time as been the last 40+ years…

Preface: last Friday I get an email from my old man, who on occasion is known to be a touch impulsive, when he threw down who was coming to town, without a second thought I signed up for a father/son concert debauchery moment. Honestly, when the name BUDDY F’N GUY is thrown down, anyone who’s ever heard a guitar should stop immediately and proceed to the nearest stage to witness one of Americana’s last living legends. Here’s an abridged reflection for the ADHD world of the Lodge:

Back-story:

b. George Guy, 1936 in Louisiana, moved to Chicago in ’57, landed first session recording contract in ’58 playing with legendary harp man Junior Wells…he got in with the Chicago-Blues scene following that and placed his own signature with the sound that directly influenced every major Rock N' Roll and Blues guitar player of the 60's, 70's, 80's, 90's, 00's, '10's....

What the hell is Chicago-Blues?: Chicago-Blues began as a result of industrial expansion in the North and economic plight in the South that sent a large majority of the Southern minority-population to northern cities, such as sweet Home. Guy arrived in Chicago around the time that Howlin’ Wolf, Muddy Waters and Sonny Boy Williamson were getting a name for themselves on the club circuit. All trained on the Delta-Blues from the Robert Johnson-era, which usually involved nothing more than an acoustic guitar and perhaps harmonica, the new generation of Blues guitarist utilizied technology(electric guitars) and jazz influence (drums and bass guitar) to create an updated version of the blues now famous from the area it began in.

Although Guy was not one of the first pioneers of the Chicago-Blues, he pushed the sound in a direction that acted as the bridge between the Chicago-Blues and Rock N’ Roll in not only sound, but also stage performance and off-stage behavior.

Songs or Links? unfortunately no, I couldn't find any direct links to songs other than Amazon, but check out this record for a good anthology of his work, however like with most legendary artists the proof is in the pudding, or the live show

What does the man mean to me: (or my Jerry Maguire Manifest moment)
During my last few years of High School, only a few things stand out: 3.5 grams cost $40, always schedule something involving PE for your 4th or 6th period class and Jimi Hendrix was a God…Not just to be Rock-God-David Lee Roth style, but lifestyle altering and required repeated immitation by the best HS Psychedelic Band on the Plateau…even to the point of strapping 6 hits of acid into a bandana and playing through the night, and then the next night…(that’s another story)…The music, the apparent message and lifestyle all influenced my reality(or lack there of) at that specific moment.

Anyway, during last Friday’s show I found myself listening to Guy’s leads and his on-stage persona and thinking, WOW, every bit of credence that I’ve given to guys like Clapton and Hendrix is now cut down a little bit, because of how novel and original Guy’s performance was and is today, even after 40 years of being on stage an in front of the main lights.

The sound of Guy’s Stratocaster as he bends notes and plays with the same sort of off-timing that I was used to hearing from Hendrix was eerie and a little sad at the same time. I closed my eyes a few times and felt that this was the closest that I’d ever come to being able to enjoying the man that shaped my reality almost a decade ago.

However, I couldn’t help myself from wondering how unique was Hendrix really? On numerous occasions Hendrix listed Guy as his main influence, and after seeing the original it was hard to argue on behalf of Hendrix. I felt cheapened by the believed-originality of Hendrix growing up and realized that cold hard reality of the entertainment world and one of the last pieces of my childhood erroded, a process that began in the late 90's with the creation of the Jabba's Palace song and dance. I came to the conclusion that ripping people off is the name of game when it comes to entertainment and that I really hate George Lucas.

--camera fade out and then fade in to a new day---

Anyway, (I'm working on getting to a point) last night I was listening to the Hendrix song "Tax Free" , which was recorded during his final months from the outstanding record, “South Saturn Delta”, and was relieved because I didn’t hear Buddy Guy in the song, instead I heard what Guy described as the “Coltrane of Rock N’Roll”. There was the inclusion of a brass section, an off-time bass line, shuffling drums, silk-smooth understated guitar and a sound that was as unique as his wardrobe. The song reminded me that Hendrix career still stands as the greatest tragedy ever dealt to Rock N' Roll, he's remembered for the pop hits of the 60's, but it was his work in the 8 months he spent in the 70's that was about to change the whole game.

This led to a greater thought-bubble about how influences and past experiences aren’t just refined to art, but how everybody deals with influence and past experiences in order to create a new reality and perception, Acid bandana or not. Thanks for reading.

Filmclub 2K6 Vol 6

Since the entire Lodge saw the same flick last night, I’m going to do film club a little differently. This week will be just about Nightwatch, and the other films I was going to do write ups for will get added to next weeks column.

Nightwatch

Plot Summary -- …nevermind. If you didn’t get it when you saw it, I can’t help you here.

Review/Thoughts -- I’ll start with the bad before I hit the good.



- The pacing at times felt terribly off.
- I didn’t like the editing during the whole Anton/Video Game guy face off at all.
- If you didn’t know this was part of a trilogy (or your name is goose), you’d probably hate the flick.

I’m going to go ahead and jump straight into the Star Wars vs. Nightwatch comparison. It’s always interesting watching two filmmakers try to pull off the same story in different ways. In this case, why does the cute innocent kid become evil? In Star Wars we had three movies of the audience saying “Well, I guess that makes sense…” The Jedi are knights in shining armor, yet Anakin jumps to the dark side due to having some bad dreams. I know that’s overly simplistic, but just go with me on this.

What I really loved about Nightwatch was that you could really see why someone would choose the bad guys. This movie isn’t really a case of Good versus Evil. The good guys aren’t truly good. They just realize that someone has to stop the Dark side. The light is flawed, and f**ked up and doing whatever they can to win. Really, it’s less of a case of these guys being good and more of a case of them being not evil. There’s an interesting Star Wars parallel there. Lucas tried to add a flawed level to the Jedi order, making them arrogant and egotistical. Unfortunately it’s never clearly established in a way that resonates with an audience.

The second thing that I really dug about the way the kid was converted was that it was through sheer manipulation and truth. As opposed to Palpatine who just lied through his teeth until he got his way. The Video Game dude simply revealed something that would shatter the child’s trust in the light, and more importantly, Anton.

Which brings me back to Star Wars, does anyone really get why Anakin stopped trusting the Jedi? Seriously…it’s a stretch, and we only buy it so we can see Obi-Wan kick the crap out of him later. All in all, I think it’s actually sad that in 3 movies Lucas couldn’t establish why an innocent person would choose the Dark side, and really Nightwatch sums it up in one scene.

Another thing that I really, really loved about Nightwatch was the films use of subtitles. This was the first movie I’ve ever seen use subtitles as a story telling device, and I think it worked better than anyone could have hoped. But adding things like fades, or color or even motion in certain places, the filmmakers were able to add to the viewing experience. Subtitles are usually considered a hindrance, but they turned it into a tool.

The other comparison I had read about quite a bit was between this movie and Underworld (They were both made at the same time). Now, aside from Kate Bekinsale in tight black outfits, there’s really no comparison between the two. Underworld is kind of a crappy movie (albeit an entertaining one).

Part 2 (Daywatch) of the trilogy just opened in Russia on January 1st, and should be out in the states this time next year (or maybe sooner if this does really well in theaters). It’s doing monster business in Russia and early reviews say it’s better than Nightwatch. Part 3 (Duskwatch) is oddly enough going to be filmed in English with big named actors joining the cast (the director has expressed a strong desire to cast Tobey Maguire…I wonder if it’s for the role of the now grown up child). I for one am really excited to see how this series plays out.