Wilks v. Sexson: Sexson Wins!

Brad Wilkerson had 3 hits yesterday, with 1 walk, bumping his average up to .232 for the year. Today, he was designated for assignment. Baseball terms for fired. Sacked in Brittish. So it's officially over. Richie Sexson is the "winner." I use quotes because anyone who is batting only .207 isn't really a winner.

On Monday, Jimbo made a plea for Wlad the Impaler in his comments on the subject. Today, the Mariners called up catcher Jeff Clement and outfielder Wladimir Balentien from AAA Tacoma today. As you may know and can read in the linked Times article above, these two young bucks add much needed power to the M's lineup. Hopefully manager John McLaren will play the two youngsters, sitting the struggling hitters to spark the team. If you want to read more on the players, here are some notes I found on Balentien and Clement courtesy of the News Tribune.

How High?

Seriously Ronaldo, how high were you?


I thought I was scared reading about another Austrian Dungeon story, but after reading about your transvestite prostitute interlude I am even more baffled.

'When they all booked into a motel, Ronaldo discovered that the prostitutes were in fact men. '

Did they look that beautiful on whatever you were snorting?

Were you too high to realize, 'I'm one of the greatest footballers in the world - I can get hot girls for free.' ???

You were sooo high, you let a boy-girl hustle your ID?

'Albertino took the footballer's documents, police said Ronaldo alleged...'

Now the BBC might have been very plain in their reporting about the incident, but my brothers in Bangkok know the truth about she-men.

How high Ronaldo? How high?

Maybe the pain meds you're taking for your knee and the coke just really made things crazy for you to try new stuff.

In light of this, you reinforce an elementary education of learning "Just say No" all over again.

Wilks v. Sexson (the Steve Kelly addition)

We check in with a third installment of Wilks v. Sexson. The Seattle Times eternally whining Steve Kelly called out for Wilks to be out right waived in today's paper, after he took a called third strike to end the eighth Sunday, in what became a 4-2 Mariners loss to Oakland.

Brad Wilkerson is now hitting .189 overall, with "Big Sexy" Richie Sexson above the Mendoza Line at an .207 AVG. Also entering the conversation is the M's switch hitting DH José Vidro barely edging out Wilks with a .195 batting average.

So in our informal race, Big Sexy is in the lead now with a higher average coupled with 5 HR and 16 RBI. Of course, he's making 10 million dollars more per year.


Kelly's article is his umpteenth plead to the Seattle organization to bring back Ken Griffey Jr. Although I think it would be a great story to bring the face of the franchise (with apologies to Alvin Davis and Edgar Martinez), it's highly implausible due to the fact that Griffey originally wanted to go back "home" to Cincinnati and play for the Reds. And although the Reds aren't going to win anything anytime soon in the NL Central, why would Griffey's reasons for leaving have changed? His homes are in Cincinnati and Florida. Nostalgia is a powerful tool. But stop toying with our emotions, Kelly. At this point, you are three years away from becoming the second coming of Skip Bayless.

Gooses 2nd NFL Mock Draft

The NFL Season is about to begin:

This weekend is the NFL Draft and for the 1st time we will not be blessed with Mel Kiper Jr's Hair for 48 straight hours.

#1 Miami Dolphins- Jake Long OT Michigan
Not too much of a strech here as Long has already been signed sealed and delivered. This is a rock solid foundation and while not a flashy or sexy pick, most teams that value a solid oline have turned losing franchises into Super Bowl Contenders

#2 St. Louis Rams- Chris Long DE Virginia
Leanord Little is old, the rams defense is pourous and Chris Long is probably the best defensive player in the draft. He's 6-3 275 and ran the 40 in 4.75. Has good technique and hits the edge hard.

#3 Atlanta Falcons- Matt Ryan QB Boston College
Matt Ryan has two things going for him. He is a solid QB and he is not Michael Vick. This is a team in desperate need of a leader and a face, Ryan can fit the bill. A secondary strech could be Darren Mcfadden but I thing they need a QB most of all

#4 Oakland RaidersVernon Gholston DE/OLB Ohio State
If you watch Gholston play, you will see a mirror image of Terrell Suggs. A classic Tweener would fits perfectly as an OLB in a 3-4 or a DE in a 4-3....HOWEVER...look for Oakland to potentially trade this pick, trying to move down. They are Cap strapped and dont want to pay big money for a #4 pick

#5 Kansas City Chiefs- Glenn Dorsey DT LSU
If the Chiefs stay at #5 I think they take Dorsey. If they trade down they would look at Ryan Clady from Boise State. Their biggest need is OT but dorsey may be too good to pass up.

#6 N.Y. Jets- Darren McFadden RB Arkansas
McFadden is the type of back who will make Jets fans forget about Curtis Martin. Of course they already want to forget about Thomas Jones. He could be this years Adrian Peterson, hopefully not this years Blair Thomas

#7 New England Patriots- Mike Jenkins, CB South Florida
The Pats are always tough to get a read on. They would love Gholston but wouldnt trade up for him. They could take Ryan Clady if he drops. Jenkins in the #1 CB on the board and the loss of Asanti Samuel makes this a need pick

#8 Baltimore Ravens- Brian Brohm QB Louisville
The Ravens could wait until Round 2 or trade back into the late-1st to get a QB. New Coach John Harbaugh needs his franchise QB. Last time they waited they ended up with Kyle Boller.

#9 Cincinnati Bengals- Sedrick Ellis DT USC
LB was the biggest need however with Odell Thuman reinstated I think they go DT with this pick. Sedrick Ellis is a tough solid run stopper. Look for the Bengals to also potentially trade down.

#10 New Orleans Saints- Leodis McKelvin, CB Troy State
They wanted Jenkins and would take him if NE Passes. Either way they go CB with this pick. The pass defense was horrid last year and they need impact players

Now we choose the Lodge Teams picks:

#12 Denver Broncos Chris Williams, OT Vanderbilt
Matt Lepsis retirement forces the Broncos to fill a huge hole on the OL. Williams can play G and T but is more suited to be a RT. He'll find a home Cutting and Chop Blocking in Denver

#21 Washington Redskins Calais Campbell, DE Miami (FL)
Campbell filled a need at the pass rusher position and could be a sleeper pick this late in the draft. However his Miami ties will surely guarantee him some jail time sometime in the next 8-12 months. Mark my words.

#22 and #28 Dallas Cowboys
Devin Thomas, WR Michigan State, James Hardy, WR Indiana or Antoine Cason, CB Arizona at #22 (If any of them fall). Dominique Rogers-Cromartie, CB Tennessee State or DeSean Jackson, WR/KR California. Obviously the cowboys will be looking at CB and WR for their top 2 picks. I wont add more inforamtion because I simply dont care.

#25 Seattle Seahawks
Watch the Detroit and Arizona pick at 16 and 17 to determine the Seahawks moves here. If J Stewart and Rashard Mendenhall are gone, look for the Seahawks to potentially look OL or TE. Dustin Keller, Purdue and Fred Davis, USC are the two top TE's.

Champions League Semi-Final

WTF!


I promised a post on it. But yesterday as I was watching the game I felt fairly confident in the outcome. Chelsea had played like shite and Liverpool appeared to have the advantage going to Stamford Bridge in the 2nd leg. And then Riise made possibly the worst play of the year, my heart sank, screamed the phrase above, and stared at the screen for a long while. It's not over... but the stat that "Liverpool hasn't scored at Chelsea in the last 8 matches" doesn't exude confidence. [sigh]

the conference semi's coming to a tv near you! Part 1

Okay with the two clossial game sevens tonight...the second round will be great.

Montreal Scenarios

First scenario: Canadiens vs Flyers: I really hope this scenario doesn't happen...but if it does, the Flyers are tough nose and scrappy which could get rookie goalie Carey Price flustered. The Flyers feature free agent signing of Daniel Briere from the former President Trophy winners Buffalo Sabres. Briere going into game 7 had 6 goals. The Canadiens don't have one guy and are tough to prepare for. Either Philadelphia or Rangers will have their hands full with their opponent.

Second scenario: Canadiens vs Rangers: This would be the second consectitive original six matchup for the Habs. The Rangers have a mix of youth, with Drury, Gomez, and Avery. They also have some grisled veterens like Jagr, Shanahan, and Straka. The Rangers were built up over the off-season and was made to go places in the playoffs. I think this could be a classic series where both goalies are young talents and have a great mix of youth and age.

Pittsburgh scenarios

Pittsburgh vs Washington: This would make the league mess their pants. Sid Crosby vs Alex Ovechkin, Malkin vs Backstrom, and Hossa vs Semin. This match-up screams ratings for NBC (which is sad, that perhaps in a different post). This would be the great series that the NHL wants and the problem is...you still have two more rounds and you can't make this a Celtics/Lakers match up. Crosby and Ovechkin both have long term contracts, but it would be interesting if these stars could split conferences and make a great coast to coast rival.

Pittsburgh vs Rangers: This would be a good series but then you will think what if...Pittsburgh would like to play the Rangers. Crosby would shine down in Midtown and Jagr would return home to where his brillance started...in Pittsburgh. I would love to Lemieux come down from the owners box and take Jagr to school.

So Eastern Conference aka Wales Conference preview of possible two scenarios...tomorrow we should know the answers and we'll have a Cambell Conference preview of the semifinals that already have Detroit, Colorado, and Dallas with their tickets punched...enjoy game 7's tonight fellas...

Miggy Tejada's Fake ID

With all of the commotion over the first day of the Bigger Dance, I'm not sure if ya'll heard the story on the AP wire about Miguel Tejada telling Astros he's actually 33, not 31. I love that he tells his third team this info after he gets traded. Classic. And we are supposed to believe him when he says his name shouldn't have been in the Mitchell Report. To commemorate the story, I give you a Miggy fist pump.

New Link: Fistpumps.com

A few weeks back, I was pimping this link on my school blog. It's possibly one of the greatest websites in the past 5 years and has brought me an embarrassing amount of joy. Another blogger site like our our Black Lodge, I give you:


Fistpumps.com




Please note the Professional and Amateur fistpump montages on the right side of the site. They update it daily and run the gamut of classic fist pumps in every sport from EPL action to Tennis pumps. It is now linked on the sidebar of the Lodge for future enjoyment.

Lodge King of the Hard Wood 2

Sorry to bump the Llama down but this is important....We all know the story from last year, as Seatown got his 15 minutes and then was gone.

Its that time of year again

KJR's Bigger Dance is now on and EVERYONE should be in on this, no excuses.

1) 1st of all go to http://www.kjram.com/

2) click on the Bigger Dance Link

3) The Office pool is called "The Black Lodge" with the password of "knockers"

4) Pick your ladies.

$5 to enter. Winner takes all. This contest is about hot chicks gentlemen, There are no points for second place.

Jimbo- Train, You've been busted, you lost your qualifications as Lodge leader three times, put in hack twice by me, with a history of Drunk and disorderly in Canada, Puking into Bread bags after your ass hurt,, and one forgettable viewing of a Lodge Classic Movie

Goose- ESB? [Train shrugs]

Jimbo- And you asshole, you're lucky to be here!

Goose- Thank you, PoohBah.

Jimbo- And let's not bullshit Train. Your family name ain't the best in the Lodge. You need to be doing it better, and cleaner than the other guy. Now what is it with you?

Train- Just want to be a "Pal", be the best man in the Lodge, sir.

Jimbo- Don't screw around with me Train. You're a hell of an instinctive Fantasy Player. Maybe too good. I'd like to bust your butt but I can't. I got another problem here. I gotta send somebody from this Lodge to KJRAM. I gotta do something here, I still can believe it. I gotta give you your dream shot! I'm gonna send you up against the best. You two characters are going to The Bigger Dance.

Big Hitter

"The Dalai Lama himself, twelfth son of the Lama!" - Carl Spackler

As much as I disagree with the Lama's heathen beliefs, I am utterly in awe of the dual view point Lama Politics article by the Times. They actually took the daring attempt to show the perspective of ethnic Chinese who are offended by the pro-Tibet backlast. Because its not all about the Richard Gere. (Beastie Boys are briefly forgiven.)

Not only that, some editor at the times goes balls out and lets this mind bomb drop: What he finds hypocritical is American political leaders making statements about the Tibet situation and human rights in China, when "we are doing worse things in the Middle East."

O_O

Thanks for finally putting up good international reporting Times. And watch out for Lama traffic Lodge.

Playoff time Baby!

Hey it's the early April...which means two things...First, the NBA season is winding down, which I haven't really cared about in at least three years. The second thing is the NHL playoffs. As games started last night, some interesting things are happening. Let's breakdown each series.

East

#1 vs. #8...Montreal vs Boston.

Montreal has dominated the Bruins in the past 27 games, winning all but 3 of them. The B's get Patrice Bergeron and Marc Savard hopefully back in this series after missing serious time throughout the year. Will it help the B's? Who knows but I think the Habs will come out victorious despite missing their captain, Koivu, with a broken bone in his foot.

Dude's Pick: Montreal in 5

#2 vs #7...Pittsburgh vs Ottawa

Ottawa is hard to figure out. Here is a team that jumped out to a dominant start and looked like they were going to be this seasons Ducks with how they coasted throughout the season. Well it didn't turn out that way. With questions of committment from former #1 goalie, Ray Emery and the tailspin that led to the firing of their coach John Paddock, the Sens are a huge question mark. Their former head coach and now GM Bryan Murray took over and the team has played better. There is even smack talk saying the Pens mailed it in on their finale just so they could play the Sens. On the Penguins side, Sidney Crosby has only played a handful of games since missing a chuck with a high ankle sprain. Malkin has emerged as a stud and will need to show that ability in the playoffs. The Pens got their #1 goaltender back with Marc-Andre Fleury. The Pens are not a one stud team with Sid the Kid...This team is going to be a tough out.

Dude's Pick: Pittsburgh in Six

#3 vs #6...Washington vs Philadelphia

Washington should be known as the Phoenix...they only won 8 of their first 30 or so games, and came back to win the SE division and knock out the Caroline Hurricanes. This team features AO8-Oveckin. They also feature a ton of other young talent. They obtained a young goal tender in Chris Huet from Montreal. Philadelphia is the comeback kids from last season. The team signed a couple of big free agents, including Briere. The Flyers also have a young upcomer name Mike Richards. This team is scrappy but I don't think they have enough to wipe the Caps off their wave of momentum.

The Dude picks Caps in six.


#4 vs #5 New Jersey vs NY Rangers

This will be an instant classic. The Devils will always be in a series with Marty Brodeur and the Rangers have the scorers with former Devil Scott Gomez and Jagr so scoring won't be out of the question. The Rangers made headlines last off season with the signings of Drury and Gomez. Jagr's numbers are down but had his seventeenth consective 25 goal season. This is a really tough series for me to pick and I think this will go the distance. Home ice I think will make a difference.

Dude's Pick...Devils in 7.

This conference should be fun to watch with the two young stars of the league in Oveckin and Crosby. All these series should be entertaining but I think the mid range seeds should provide some great first round action

Western Conference

#1 vs #8...Detroit vs Nashville.

This should be an interesting series. Detroit rolled through the season winning the President Cup for the best record in the league. Detroit is aging and has shown it's age later in the year. They play a divisional rival in Nashville which held their own going 3-3-2 against the Red Wings. The Wings have the best blue liner in Lindstrom and have Zetterburg and the ageless one in Chris Chelios. Nashville has some young kids and were pretty much sold in the fire sale. They have Ellis as a keeper, and Jason Arnott and JP Dumont as their stars. This series should be done early but who really knows.

Dude Picks Detroit in 5.

#2 vs. #7...San Jose vs Calgary

I know a certain lodge member (Jimbo) is looking forward to this series. I think series will go down to the wire. Now for the six of the past seven years, a two has fallen to a seven seed. San Jose has picked up Brian Campbell from the Sabers and have leaders Joe Thorton and Cheechoo. They also have former T-Bird, Patrick Marleau. The Sharks have Evgeni Nabokov who played in 77 games this year. The Flames have the Kipper in front of net and MVP hopeful Iginla and some stud blue liners. I don't think Calgary can do it...

Dude picks Sharks in 7.

#3 vs. #6...Minnesota vs Colorado

Minnesota is a good solid defencive team and the Colrado has the worst powerplay of any playoff team. Colrado has Ryan Smyth and Peter Forsberg also with Joe Sakic and some other guys. I think Colorado could seen up on this team, where the goal keeping has been a little suspect this past year. Look for a lot of 3 to 2 games.

Dude's Pick...Colorado in 6.

#4 vs #5 Ducks vs Stars

The defending Stanley Cup Champs have bulked up and look ready to defend their title. They have their retirees back from taking a half of a year and have fresh legs. They also have veterens Bertuzzi and Scheider and look tough. Stars have been led by a solid year from Marty Turco, the Stars got stronger with acquistion of Brad Richards from the TB Lightning. This should be like the East 4/5 game. This series should be a knocked out drag them out fight.

Dude picks Ducks in 7

There are a couple of active players in the playoffs who have played a lot of games and not raised the Cup. Luke Richardson of Ottawa has played 1410 games. The other player is Jeremy Roenick of the Sharks with 1313. Hopefully one of these guys can get their time with the Cup.

The Cup brings a lot of surprises and a lot of disappointment...just like any other professional sport, only one team will finish on a winning note...who will it be...fourteen teams are already watching at home. Will your team be watching or celebrating?

Wilks vs. Sexson

Looks like the Times picked up the Lodge Wilks vs. Sexson battle and ran with it in today's paper. It's amazing when Sexson is the "leader" in the battle, and he's hitting only .217 with 5 hits in 23 at bats. At least he has 3 2Bs and 1 HR in his 5 hits.

Wilkerson is hitting just .059 after seven games, with a lone single to show for his 17 at-bats. "I'm not swinging the bat worth a crap right now," he said. At least he can admit he stinks. Just keep Big Sexy away from him so we don't have 2 guys dragging us down. He does have seven walks, which is tied with 1B Richie Sexson for the team lead. Said Wilkerson, an admitted slow starter: "It's only 17 at-bats, but I've got to start to do my part."

We all know the shaky bullpen, the M's are now 2-5 and traveling to TB for a series on the road against the Rays. Remember the Soriano trade to ATL about a year and a half ago... thanks for that, Bavasi. That's when I was calling for his head, I'm back on the job. Fire Bill Bavasi.

UPDATE: Sexson went 2 for 3 tonight to raise his AVG to .259 for the year. Wilks was 1 for 4 with a 2 RBI single to raise his AVG to a robust .095 for the season.

T.O.D - CHARLTON HESTON

I guess we can all now take that gun from his cold dead hand. No matter what I thought of the mans love for guns or his political beliefs. The man could act his ass off.

The Lodge would like to recognize Chuck Heston as the second memeber of the All Star Train of Death Team. Heston was born John Charles Carter in Evanston, Illinois, on Oct. 4th 1923, the son of Lilla (née Charlton) and Russell Whitford Carter, a mill operator.

In 1944, Heston enlisted in the United States Army Air Forces. He served for two years as a B-25 radio operator/gunner stationed in the Alaskan Aleutian Islands with the Eleventh Air Force, rising to the rank of Staff Sergeant.

The Heston our parents know was Larger than life on the big screen. Playing historical figures like Julius Ceaser, Moses, and El Cid. I remember always trying to stay up and watch all of The Ten Commandments on ABC every Easter weekend. I never made it past the parting of the Red Sea. Heston won the Academy Award for Best Actor for his role in Ben Hur.

The Heston the Lodge knows is the one of Sci-fi stong men. The Goose, I'm sure can tell you all about his feeling on Planet of the Apes. Heston seemed to seek out Sci-fi loner roles of the late 60's and 70's. He stared in cult favorites like Soylent Green and Omega Man. These films also gave us such memorable lines as the one on the POD and " Soylent Green is People."

The Lodge has to recognize the fact that Heston has been with us since the beginning. He guided us through our first Lodge outing, in Vegas no less. Who can forget the Battle of Midway ? I remember the conversation like it was yesterday.

Sahara Hotel

Goose: You want to play some blackjack?

Train: Na, I'm a little tired. What's on TV. Awesome, Midway's on.

Goose: Sweet!

LATER THAT DAY. GOOSE AND TRAIN GET IN THE ELEVATOR WITH JOE AND JIMBO.

Goose: What did you guys do?

Joe: took a nap

Jimbo: I watched Midway

Goose: Sweet, so did we.

Train: Heston can F'n act.

Joe: I want some Peach Schnappes!

AND THE NAME IS...

Over 14,500 fans registered their vote for the new MLS in Seattle team name. The name of Seattle's new MLS franchise is:

Seattle Sounders FC


Watch the noon press conference live on SoundersFC.com

The second coming of Paul Crewe

Check out what Michael Vick is doing in Prison (Besides avoiding the "Sisters")

Jay Cutler's (Not) Favorite Person

"It's always something with him. He's not my favorite person right now... He's had many wakeup calls. He's been in [coach Mike] Shanahan's office many times. I've been up there with him and he's said the same thing: 'it's a wakeup call.' Blah, blah, blah. Until he goes out and proves it, we'll see what happens."

~Denver quarterback Jay Cutler on star young wideout Brandon Marshall, who severely cut his arm and forearm in what he claimed was an accident after he said he slipped on a McDonald's wrapper and put his hand through a TV set.

Welcome to Wilks vs. Sexson

Here's to a new weekly running segment chronicling the misadventures of RF Brad Wilkerson, the $3 million free agent signing that has the potential to outshine the other Bavasi free agent diamonds such as Scott Spezio, Rich Aurilla and Pokey Reese and everyone's favorite 6'7" 1st basemen.

Because I think everyone is familiar with Sex Machine here's a little background on our newest contestant:

*came up through L'Expos farm system, but hails from Owensboro, KY which is less than 100 miles away from Florence, KY home to another Seattle Fan Favorite who used to wear #37 for the Seahawks

*came in 2nd in the NL Rookie of the Year voting in 2002 when he hit .266 in 507AB, two points lower than his career high, oh and he also gobbled up 161 SOs that season, which was good for fourth place in the NL, 8 SO's more than fantasy killer Pat Burrell

*Has a lifetime .249 average, but has failed to hit above that mark since 2004, his last with L'Expos.

*Last season with Arlington Rangers hit .234 in 338ABs w/ 107 SO, 20HR 67RBI and 4SB to boot...now compare that with a certain lengthy cleanup hitter that did this last season: .204 in 434AB w/ 100 SO, 21HR 63RBI and 1SB and you have all the makings of a quality middle of the lineup

So here is our initial rundown of Wilks vs. Sexson, which is only three games in so far with 450 AB's still to go, but if the first 3 games are any indication of the fun we're going to have the season...well...people get f'n ready:

Wilks:
3G 11AB 1H 1SB 2BB 3SO .091

Sex Machine:
3G 11AB 1H OSB 2BB 4SO .091

Total Pants Points:

*Sexson -1

*Wilks -0

This weeks winner goes to Sexson for getting that extra SO and steering clear of trying to swipe 2nd with the long strides that make the Crouch-a-tron jealous.

161 to go...and 99 more losses for the Rangers...